Playing Dangerous ↠ ||RDR2 // Arthur Morgan X Reader||

chapter 15; the blackest day

A/N: I'm really sorry for posting so goddamnnn frequently but I have inspiration, and with work etc I'm not sure when I'm gonna get to update in the week so... here you go, and I hope you enjoy. There's some serious tea in this chapter.

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'It's not easy for me to talk about,
A half life in lost dreams.
It's not simple, it's trigonometry;
it's hard to express - I can't explain.
Ever since my baby went away,
It's been the blackest day.'

~

For the next few days in your new residence, you had been making it your mission to appear either busy, or out – at anytime any hopeful customers had been in the Mayor's home for small meetings. They had all been made aware by Bronte that you had now moved into a room at the Mayor's home – and so now you expected men wanting your service every single time they set foot through the front door.

Well, you had rather had a change of heart regarding the entire thing – you felt now, the most important thing was to try and find a quiet time where you could manage to slip away silently in the night, and hope to evade Bronte's rage in the process.

Alone in your room, the Mayor having travelled to one of the local courts for some kind of meeting with some of the senior lawmen – you had the relief of knowing you would be unbothered for a while.

The sunlight was rich as it poured through the bay window, casting a warm bar of light across the light and airy willow green painted room. Journal in your hand, you had been writing one of your daily entries. Now you seemed to be keeping a log of every emotion – simply because you hoped you could look back one day soon, having escaped, and see just how far you had come...

You had been thinking a lot about Arthur as of lately, more intensely than usual. Your heart ached for him more than it had ever done before. Even in your dreams, he had appeared. You could recall having such pleasant conversations with him in your catatonic state, but not remember what the conversations were upon waking. All you knew was you felt totally at peace, filled with hope and contentment when he saw you in your dreams. It was if salvation had reached you, like a warming radiant light casting over your cold skin.

Chewing your lip gently, you had began to scribble down your thoughts about Arthur in that journal. Even though it was your private book, you felt almost slightly uncomfortable about writing down such raw feelings of adoration and need in there for him – like someone else might see it:

All I know, is when I see him in my sleep – everything feels okay. I cannot recall the conversations clearly, but I know there is such a feeling of safety, as if all my problems will melt away soon.

It feels as if his appearance is a sign, silly – I know... But I like to think it is a sign that this life in Saint Denis, will be over for me soon.

Tucking the pencil into the side of the journal, you bound the book shut and placed it softly onto your bedside table – eyes casting out of the window.

This room was lovely, but you couldn't help but feel it was just a trussed up prison. The dark thought made your gaze fall again, and you felt like your heart was shrinking in your chest. This life you were living at the moment, seemed to be fuelled solely by your dreams and desperate hopes... hopes you weren't even sure could ever come close to being reality.

Little did you know, at that moment as you sat slumped on the bed's side – things were very much changing.

Changing for the better.

-

The ride up to the deserts' just outside of Valentine took a few days up from Rhodes – stopping for breaks and to give the horses' the rest they very much needed after the rigorous and relentless riding.