A Sky Full of Stars

| Extra || February Snow |

//

Mami had always been the shut-in type whereas Tomomi would rather escape into crowds and parties to take her mind off anything unpleasant. 

They buried their heads in such opposite worlds, but they always stayed connected. As if they had their arms stretched behind them, they held each other's hand with a tight grasp. 

//

Tomomi with her group of superficial friends, she eventually got her hands on the white substance that would momentarily make her forget about the growing black hole in her heart. 

She took the cocaine, or snow as her friends called it, the standard way by snorting. She felt so exhilarated by her first high that, being young and naive as she was, wanted to share the experience with her one, true friend. 

//

Greeting her friend's father at the front door with a fake, shy smile plastered over her face, she had asked to see Mami. He nor his wife had ever liked Tomomi with her overdrawn eyeliner and powdered face trying to cover up the little girl inside but they would usually play along. The father especially would be good at hiding his true face. Inside their home would always be pleasantly lit but it only served as a backdrop now to his openly cross, bordering on menacing expression. 

"Wouldn't you know?" Was all he had to say. 

Tomomi dropped her act and gave him a hardened look. She gave his fists a cursory glance before turning on her heel and headed back out into the snow blown streets. His knuckles were clear of any bruising. 

She would then walk through the slowly but consistently piling snow in her counterfeit Ugg boots, following a familiar path. She was headed towards her and Mami's meet up spot, though it was really meant more for Tomomi. Mami's haven was her bedroom up in the attic of her house and would only come out for Tomomi. Although her dad got physical when angered, she wasn't the one with a progressively destructive parent and unknown men coming into her house in the middle of the night. 

Tomomi kept her face down and pulled the blue beanie over her pierced ears. The snow was picking up, flying in all directions and battering her skin, slipping past her collar and into her sleeves. It was only in the past year or two did her mother fall down the rabbit hole of alcoholism. Despite seeing first-hand the ugly ramifications, Tomomi did not avoid intoxication itself - it could even be said that she took them head on as if to prove to herself she was stronger than her mother. That she would never fall victim like that. 

Reaching her destination, she lifted the plastic veil over an open doorway and walked into a completely empty house. Tomomi had found out that it was a project that had been halted in the middle of construction, probably because there wasn't enough money to fund its completion. It  was equally freezing inside but she knew there would be a working furnace upstairs as well as that her friend would be there.

Entering the second floor, she could already see signs that one of the rooms was being occupied. Past the open doorway were empty Styrofoam cups of instant noodles, plastic bottles of water, ripped up newspaper and empty but stained Ziploc bags. 

"Mami," Tomomi called out. Mami would always arrive earlier than Tomomi. Being welcomed in was a gesture that unfailingly put a smile on her face. 

There was no response. Upon closer inspection, Tomomi's worst suspicions became reality. She stopped a single step away from entering the room. 

When Mami didn't message her back, it was a common occurrence. It was natural for Tomomi to receive  a reply even a week later, but the former would never miss a call from Tomomi. That was how Tomomi knew to look for her three weeks after their last meet up. 

Once, Mami would be sitting cross-legged on a cushion hunched over her guitar that she kept here for fear of being a nuisance at home. Next to her, there would be a large thermos of hot chocolate and an extra cup for them to share. 

Now, Mami was sitting curled up against the corner nearest the door with unkempt hair and clothes that looked like they hadn't been changed out of for days. 

Once, they would've been dancing with coloured lights flashing across the walls and garbled music coming through the low-quality speakers of her phone. They would twirl each other around in turns. They would laugh just for the sake of laughing and kiss just for the sake of kissing. 

Now, the hanging threads of their hand-made origami hung lifeless from the ceiling. The room was dark; the window on the opposite wall had been covered with the blanket Tomomi would use when she would stay overnight. 

Once, Tomomi would introduce to her her new discovery. 

Now, there were traces of it all over the floor. 

Twice had had no serious effects on Tomomi but one try was all it had taken for Mami to fall into addiction. 

Her sunken eyes looked at Tomomi blankly. Her cheeks were sickly translucent, and looked as if neither flesh nor blood resided beneath them. Small puffs of air escaped her lips, appearing white in the frigid room. It looked as if she herself had crystallized into the rock. She blinked her crusted eyelashes slowly, as if only just registering that it was her friend in the room.

That was the moment Tomomi realized the grave sin she had committed. It snowed all of that night and into the next day, the next week and the next month. Tomomi didn't know how long it would have gone on for but she knew it would last much longer for Mami. 

It was the beginning of Mami's struggle to return to herself, and return to the one she loved. 

//