A Sky Full of Stars

| 11 || I'm Not Perfect |

//

"Tomo, what the hell happened to you?" Mami stood up immediately, her chair screeching across the floorboards. A lapse of judgment, or any brain activity at all, froze her in her uptake. She was so certain it was over, that the stabbing was the last of it that she couldn't understand why something felt wrong the moment the girl walked in. The lights came on but Tomomi turned it back off right away and shut herself in the bathroom before her face could be clearly seen. But Mami saw it anyways. The dark, bordering on black, discolouring that claimed the side of her face.

"Tomomi, open up!" She pounded her fist against the door and could already hear the fringes creaking. "C'mon, you know this door sucks. Just come out and talk to me. Tomomi..."

"Nothing! Nothing ha-ppened..."

Mami flinched. She felt her chest cave in when the voice cracked and dwindled away weakly, sounding as if her voice was raw from screaming and crying. On the other side of the door, Tomomi coughed uncontrollably into her arm. She bit her lip and rolled in, ears covered by the inside of her knees as she sobbed. As if the world couldn't hear her if she couldn't hear herself. Another pound and she hid her face in her hands, feeling the ink drip from her eyes. She pushed her feet against the bathtub and pressed her back harder against the door. She made the wrong decision. In that narrow moment, she switched the light off and closed herself in. If only Mami hadn't been home, if only she held back another day before breaking down.

"Tomomi, please come out," Mami pleaded. "Are you hurt? At least let me see..." There was no response, just the continuous quiet crying. Mami pressed her clenched fist harder and harder against the door, slow and silently until she released an exhausted breath and slumped her back to the door. A million possibilities should be running through her mind but there was only one that plagued her. A thought that scared her constantly; something that couldn't become reality. Yet, her friend lived just one step away from it everyday and it did kill her everyday. It was the reason why she visited as often as she could after work. It was the reason why she couldn't keep her away from sight.

A click broke her train of thought and she looked up to see Tomomi shuffle towards the bed and roll herself up in the blankets. The lamp from her work desk was still on so Mami didn't bother turning on anything else. She pushed herself forward with great effort, rocking on her heels at the edge of the bed. She didn't know if she wanted to know. She could turn around and run away, just like before.

"I didn't get raped if that's what you were wondering," Tomomi said monotonously.

Mami clenched her teeth and ripped away the blanket, forcing the girl onto her back.

"What the hell!"

"Let me see it." She pushed the red hair up and away from her face, gripping her fingers there but the girl wouldn't stop struggling. Let me see it!"

"Stop it! You're hurting, Mami! You're hurting me..." Tomomi trailed off, forced still by the eyes that bore into hers. When she remained motionless, Mami shifted her eyes to the left and inspected the large bruise near her temple. She brought her left hand up and, very gently, ran the pad of her thumb along the surface. Tomomi winced but stayed silent. The bruising spread up just above the eyebrow and went down below the cheekbone. The hit was dangerously close to her eye, popping a few blood vessels so that some red filled the corner of white.

"Any closer and you could've lost your eye or gotten brain damage," Mami whispered. Tomomi still wouldn't speak but she did not look away either. They stared at each other, the white lines of the moonlight split by the blinds across their tired faces. She did not take her hand away and caressed the paleness beneath the bruising. Tomomi was expecting it. She was expecting Mami to kiss her, to throw all her sorrow and anger into her, and stand up without another word. She was expecting the situation to just be buried again and forgotten but Mami never forgets and this time she wasn't going to run away.