Is It?

Chapter One

I just feel like you shouldn't have me in a position where I question your loyalty." You said dejectedly from your position on the bed. Your eyes were downcast as you watched your hands play with a small piece of string. Emotional infidelity is a betrayal of the worst kind. It can be fatal to love even if it is just perceived... but perception is everything.

You trusted him, you always had. He was just too blunt for you to think he'd ever hide anything from you. Which is exactly why you never thought you'd be having this conversation with Ji-hoon. He sighed and you guessed from the rustling of his shirt that he had ran his hands over his face.

"Baby, you have to know that I would never..." He trailed off. You weren't sure if that was a good thing. He wouldn't lie to you. So, could he not say it because he wasn't sure?

It all started shortly after the new assistant started. She was friendly, funny and cute. Given that she was his assistant they spent a lot of time together. What made you worry were a series of things. Longer hours at the studio, infrequent replies to texts and calls, conversations suddenly ending when you walked into the room and the lack of intimacy.

"Hey, Babe" You cheerily answered the phone.

"Hey, baby" His baritone rumbled on the other end and sighed. "I'm not going to be home until pretty late tonight."

"Ji-hooon" You whined.

"I know, baby. I know" He interrupted you with an apologetic tone.

"It's the 4th time this week." You whined again. You hated sounding needy but you missed him.

"Baby, I know. I'm sor-"

"Ji-hoon." You heard a distinctly female voice in the background. You tried to not let it rub you the wrong way.

"I gotta go baby." He said quickly and hung up the phone.

The memory played in the back of your mind. That one always, ALWAYS, came to the forefront when the thought of him cheating ebbed its way into your mind. Your breath came up short and your shoulders visibly tensed. You couldn't allow yourself to fully entertain the thought without a rush of pain surging through your gut.

Then he changed the passcode on his phone.

"Well, just call your mom and see if she can push dinner back by an hour that should give us enough time." You said nonchalantly while moving around the bedroom.

"I don't think she'll care all that much." You opened the drawer and put away a stack of t-shirts.

He made non-committal noises of agreement.

"I'll just call her." You picked up his phone and entered the password. Once. Twice. Then a third time thinking you'd typed it in wrong. Your face frowned in confusion. Your head cocked back just slightly and you looked at him. The phone was sitting loosely in your hand aimed slightly towards him. "Ji-hoon did you change your code?"

His face flushed immediately and he stuttered out an answer. "Uh-uh yea.yeah I did. I couldn't keep the other one straight so I switched it." He said taking the phone from your hand. You could hear the lie just as clearly as you could see him standing in front of you.

You opened your mouth to call him on it but before you get out a syllable he interrupted you. "Baby, don't start." He said shaking his head with his eyes closed. "No, there is no other bitch. No, I'm not hiding anything. So, before you even start. Stop, this is me." He said opening his eyes and giving you a half smile. Your face didn't change. You refused to return his smile.

He crossed the space in the room and pulled you close to him in a one armed hugged and kissed your cheek. "I'll call my mom and let you know what she says." With that he left the room. It didn't escape you that he didn't tell you what the new code was.

Your mind was constantly analyzing every interaction with him looking for changes, clues, any insight into what might be going on.

"How have I put you in a position to make you think that I would do something like that?" His question pulled you from your thoughts. He was standing in front of you. Just out of your reach.

You looked up at him with a look that clearly stated "Really?"

"Do I need to spell it out for you?" The frown on your face matched the harshness in your voice. "Her, you're always with her." He made a noise to interrupt but you got there first.

"Don't feed me that 'she's my assistant bullshit.'" Your hands clenched on your jeans to keep yourself in check. "She's not just at work and you're not just seeing her for work events." You said pushing up from your spot on the bed. "She's constantly texting you, snapping you, in your DMs, always at the club with you. Dinners, coffee breaks. Hell, you check with her before you take me out to see if she had something planned." You stepped forward with each word until you were toe to toe with him. He stood still standing his ground. His arms were folded and the scowl on his face matched your own.

"You know I don't play that jealousy shit." His voice was low and held an edge as sharp as a knife. You scoffed. "I wish it was just jealousy."

"I am not doing anything with that girl. The only woman I've touched since we've been together is you!" His voice was getting louder with each word.

"You're taking innocent...." He paused floundering for words. You believed him. He may not have touched her but it was clear that he was nurturing a relationship with her while leaving yours to die. "Things and trying to use them as case for me cheating on you.?!"

He took a breath and was about to continue what you were sure was setting up to be a tirade when his phone vibrated. He took it out of his pocket and you were close enough to see the name. It was her. Of course, it was her. It was always HER.

"Go on. Answer it. It's innocent, right?" It was more than you asking if he was cheating. Is this the end of us? Is this the last time I'll see you? Is it worth losing us? You sounded defeated even to your own ears.

This fool answered the phone. It was a short conversation of him saying yes and ended with a quick. 'I'll be right there.'

He looked at you shaking his head again as he stuffed his phone back in his pocket. "I'll be back. Don't wait up." He said turning away from you and grabbing his hat.

He didn't try to kiss you, hug you or reassure you. He just left. Another woman called him and he immediately went to her.

"Don't worry. I won't" You said to yourself. You looked around the room and mentally started making a list of things to pack. He didn't answer your question and that was answer enough. It wasn't innocent.