hostage (jjk+kth)

Chapter Seven

Yoongi Focus

"Suga Hyung?" I heard Jimin's frail voice behind me. I stared at the woman laying on the floor, blood dribbling from her stomach. I shivered, thinking about how cold I felt at the moment I shot at her. "Yoongi is she..." I turned around to face Jimin. "Oh no, y-you did didn't you? Did you kill her?" He asked. Hesitantly, I nodded. Jimin nodded back. "I'm sorry," I said. "Jungkook told me we need a new medic and I... I'm sorry you had to see that."

Jimin closed his eyes. "I hate it when you kill people." He said. I looked up at him. "I mean, it's kind of our job to... you know." Jimin opened his eyes again. "When you kill people," Jimin said. I looked into his eyes with confusion. What does that mean? I wondered. Jimin continued. "I-I mean because y-your eyes are so full of madness and regret." Madness? Jimin tried to sit up. "Don't," I said. "Your leg is still bad."

"It isn't getting better. Might as well-"

"No. Just lay down and stay there. Let me take care of the difficult things." I felt really awkward, but for some reason, that was okay. I felt like I was being obvious with my feelings for Jimin, but it was okay because he wouldn't care. "Can I tell you something?" Jimin asked. I blinked out of my thoughts and nodded. "Anything." I looked down only to be met with the sight of my fingers wrapped around the cold handle of the gun.

"I-I know I'm not getting better, but I think I'm only getting worse." He said. "I think I'm poisoned."

I dropped the gun, which made a loud crash when it hit the floor. "No." I said coldly. I hurried over to Jimin and pulled his blanket off of his leg. "No, you can't be. You can't just tell me that." I said. "You can't be poisoned." I felt fear start to eat at my stomach. He's not fucking poisoned. I thought. "Yoongi, what are you doing?" Jimin asked. I was tearing the bandages off his leg. I decided not to give him an answer.

Underneath the bandage, the bullet hole wasn't stitched up or even cleaned. There was a patch next to it that made my heart drop. I sat on the edge of the bed and felt my eyes start to burn. "Yoongi hyung, what is it?" Jimin asked me. I looked at him with blurry eyes and let out a shaky breath. "It's the- I can't tell you."

"Yoongi, tell me," Jimin said. "Am I or am I not being poisoned?" He sounded stern. I shook my head, remembering that Jimin wasn't just a cute and innocent little mochi. Jimin could be scary and mean if he wanted to be. That was why he wasn't kicked out of the gang as a child. He was so tough. "Jimin, the medic. She put a patch on your wound."

Jimin closed his eyes and sighed. "I knew it." He said, sounding more annoyed than scared. He didn't even sound surprised. How is he not scared when I am terrified out of my wits!? I'm not even in danger!

The patch was one that was used long ago to end the lives of those who wouldn't make it. A few years after it was invented, it became a way to kill people without leaving any evidence that it was you. The patch works like ice. It melts into the veins and courses through your body, making more of itself until it kills you. I leaned forward to pull the patch off, but Jimin smacked my hand away. I looked up at him and realized he was sitting up.

"Don't touch it." He said. I blinked. "But you'll die," I said.

"So will you, if you touch it. You know how these work. If you touch it, your skin will absorb it." Jimin said. He was right. I walked to the medic's cabinet and searched for gloves. Upon finding some, I hurried back to Jimin. "Don't." He said. I didn't listen and put the gloves on. Jimin started breathing heavily. "No, Yoongi hyung! Don't touch it! Even with those, it's too risky."

Again, I ignored him and with the gloves, I picked up the patch and threw it aside as far as I could. Jimin's breathing became heavier and I got up to go find water. "Jimin, it's okay. I'll be fine. I'm not going to quit until you are okay."

"You don't understand!" Jimin shouted. "I'm not okay. I have never been okay! I didn't have the patch on for no reason, Yoongi! Why'd you take it off!?"

I was, at that moment, filling a plastic cup with water, but stopped immediately in my tracks. My heart stopped and I suddenly felt cold. "What did you say?" I asked so quietly, even I could barely hear myself. My hands started shaking and the water spilled over the edges of the cup.

I heard Jimin start to sob. "I-I asked her t-to put th-the p-p-patch on." He said. His voice was quiet and sad. I turned off the water and set the cup down, then leaned on the sink. I was afraid to turn around. If I looked at Jimin at that moment, I knew I would cry. I didn't want him to see me cry. I didn't want to see him cry. I didn't want anyone to cry. You know what? Scratch that. I didn't want any of this to happen. I wished Jimin didn't get shot or even come to the hostage exchange. I wished I could have mustered up the courage to tell him that I loved him.

But it was too late for that. Too late to tell him anything because he was going to die.

"Yoongi hyung, please don't be mad at me, please. I don't want to live like this. I don't want to be a part of this gang anymore. I don't want to live if this is my condition."

Suddenly, I felt angry. Really angry. I turned around and yelled at him. "You don't get it!" I shouted. "Don't tell me I don't know how you feel. I know exactly what you mean! But unlike you, I choose to live! I choose to deal with the world around me. I don't want to live like this, but I don't have a choice, and neither do you!"

Jimin sniffled, and I blinked. He was crying quietly. His face showed fear and anger. I felt guilt start to tear through me. "I-I'm sorry," I said, feeling horrible. "I shouldn't have yelled." I brought the cup over to his bed. Jimin made a point not to look at me and that only made me feel worse. "Yoongi, if that is how you think, that's great. I'm not the same as you. You have a reason to live. I, on the other hand, do not. Who will I be hurting when I die? Who will care that much?"

"Jimin, you still don't get it," I said. I poured some water over his bullet wound. Jimin stiffened but didn't show much more to the fact that the wound hurt. I poured the water over his leg until the excess poison was off of him, then walked over to the cabinet to find a rag and new bandage.

"What do I not get?" Jimin asked me. I came back to him with the materials and used the rag to wipe his wound till I thought it was clean. I wasn't rough, but I sure as hell wasn't being soft, and by the look on Jimin's face, it hurt. "I'm sorry," I said. Jimin shook his head and repeated his question. "What do I not get, huh?"

I sighed as I wrapped the bandage around his leg again. The wound needed to be stitched up, but I wasn't going to be the one to do that. I was absolutely sure I was doing everything wrong already.

As soon as I finished, I threw both the rag and the old bandage away and sat back on Jimin's bed. "Jimin, this is going to be very hard to tell you, so please don't make fun of me," I said, feeling sick. Jimin nodded and made a zipping motion across his lips. I took a deep breath and started with the sappy stuff.

"I know your reason to live. It is the same as mine." Jimin looked into my eyes intently, waiting for me to continue. I could already see the words on my gravestone. Maybe when he rejects me, death will be the next best thing. I thought.

"You are my reason to live," I said. Jimin's expression didn't change, so I knew he wanted me to explain. "If you die, then there is no point for me. I would not have the strength to do anything. I would not be happy. I would never find happiness. I know this is probably the worst time to tell you that I live to see your smile. I live to see your happiness because it makes me happy. And to find out that you don't feel happy makes me feel like I need to be the reason for you to smile. I want you to live, if not for yourself, then for me."

I felt like I had just been tossed over a cliff. There was no going back now, and the only way I would survive was if Jimin caught me at the bottom. He was quiet. That was the only thing that came after my words. Silence. Jimin just kept looking into my eyes.

"Please say something," I begged. "I want to know if I just wasted my time or if this was worth the confession."

"Yoongi hyung..." Jimin started. "I'm so sorry."

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1658 words