Welcome To The Club || Panic! At The Disco

10

I woke up to someone softly shaking me and to the smell of pizza. I groan and slowly open my eyes to see a pair of chocolate brown ones staring back at me. "Hey." Brendon says and I blink a few times. "O-oh I didn't mean to fall asleep. Sorry." I say while sitting up and I wince. God they hurt worse than they did when I went to bed. "I figured you wouldn't wanna go down there since Iero is, so I brought some up for us." He says and I notice a plate on the bed side table with six pieces of pizza on it.

"I, do I have to eat?" I ask and he nods. "You haven't eaten in a while. It'll help with your headaches. You might feel a bit better." He says. No I keep getting them from crying and being hit. But okay go off forehead. I grab a slice and stare at it a bit before taking a bite. So much for starving till I die. That plans out the window. To be honest this pizza was pretty good. "Is it good?" He asks, as he grabs one himself. "Yeah it's actually pretty good." I say and I look at my arms and oh my god. Bright red marks littered my arms. They were bubbled up painfully, jeez no wonder they hurt so much.

"Those will be a reminder yeah?" He says and I look at him. "Yeah." I say, holding back so many remarks I wanted to shout at him. I finished my slice in silence and he had two more and we were done. I awkwardly stared at my hands, too afraid to get up and leave. I don't want him to beat me again. "So I've decided you don't have to go back into the basement in the sense of you staying down there anymore." He says causing me to look up at him. "Wait really?" I ask and he nods. "We have a guest room, there's no bed in their yet but when we get around to fixing the room up for you, that'll be your room." He says and I slowly nod.

"So am I taking the couch?" I ask and he laughs. "No way in hell. You're staying in here with me." He says and that made me uncomfortable. "I originally was gonna let you stay with Pete since you and him get along so nicely. But I don't trust you enough yet to do so." He states and I give him a confused look. "Pete's the softest out of everyone here. I know how it works. You'll try and get him to help you escape, and I won't let that happen. I'm not dumb, Eleanor." He says.

"I wouldn't." I say. I would feel more comfortable with Pete honestly. That conversation made me feel so much more connected with him. I felt like I had a friend sorta even though I wouldn't consider him and I friends. "I don't trust you. And just know if you successfully get one of my men to help you escape, not only will I kill you but they'll die too. Keep that in mind. You'd be the reason they die." He says and I feel my heartbeat increase.

"If you make me have to kill one of my best friends, your death with be painfully slow. More than usual." He says again and I nod. Fuck. Now I'm gonna have to do this myself if I need an escape plan. I can't risk anyone else dying. That's not my intention at all. Someone already died, I don't want anyone else dying. "Also Dallon seems like he's the softest." I state and he shakes his head. "He likes to be, nice? Kinda like good cop bad cop. He's there to calm people down for me, and it clearly works. It always does." Brendon explains and I nod. Interesting.

I keep thinking back to Ashley. The loud gunshot, the blood splatters, oh god the blood. There was so much. Everywhere, surely. I remember vividly when I looked at Brendon just after I did it, the red splatters that were across his face. I look at him as if they would still be there. Obviously not. He had changed and washed up. Like I did. Suddenly tears glaze my eyes once more and I hurriedly look down at my lap. "I'm proud of you, you know that right?" Brendon asks and I slowly look up.

"Wentz said you were, yeah." I say. "It takes a lot to make me proud. I'm very proud of you, in fact. No hesitation. You just did it. You did very good." He says and I swallow harshly and nod. "Thanks Brendon." I say. "I know you might not be able to see that right now but you will one day. I really do hope I'm able to bring you on missions with us someday." He says. "Can I ask you a question?" I ask and he nods. "The first time you ever killed, was it traumatizing for you too?" I ask and he nods.