Who Loves You, Pretty Baby

Simple Gifts

11:26 AM. Chrissie's cervix was stuck at seven centimeters dilated. She had moved progressively each hour since 5AM but was stalled at seven centimeters. The doctor had come in recently to check and Brian had gone from the chair across from Chrissie to the nearby bed.

 "You know, this is the one time in my life I wish I were a smoker." He said, rolling over to one side. Brian had always had a reputation of leading a wholesome, drug free lifestyle and so hearing him joke about becoming a smoker lightened Chrissie's disposition in her moments of pain. He had also nearly drank an entire pot of coffee. He didn’t even like it, but it kept him awake. Chrissie’s contractions had become more intense and longer in nature as she dilated further. It felt like the cramps associated with a period...on steroids...times ten. Brian and Chrissie's mother had kept her more than relaxed and entertained throughout the morning hours as daybreak faded into the early afternoon. The doctor had assured them that the last centimeters would happen quickly provided Chrissie's body would give way into that eighth.

 Roger sighed heavily and reached a hand out to my shoulder. “I slept hard.” He said. It was 12:42 and he and I were only now beginning to stir after our all-nighter the previously night. I smiled at him and moved closer to him.

 “Me too.” I answered. We stared at each other for a moment.

 “Lyd, I need to tell you somethin’. I don’t want you think that…that I haven’t understood how you felt when you got that news from the doctor. I tore your reports up yesterday and I…I got a little choked up over it. I was excited. And…as you could see, I jumped the gun I guess. But, I need you to know that…it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change the way I think or feel about you.” Roger paused to make certain I was paying attention to him. “I think it’s…it’s something that needed to happen to us. ‘Cause if you and I hadn’t started tryin’ to have a baby, I wouldn’t have…I wouldn’t have…shit….Lydia stop!” Roger said putting his hands over his eyes. I laughed at him.

 “Roger, I didn’t do anything! I’m just layin’ here listening to you! Come here!” I reached my arms out to him, pulling his warm body up against me.

 “I’m sorry, it’s just really a shitty feeling to me when I realize how much time I’ve lost…time I’ve taken for granted not touching you and us not holdin’ on to each other the way we have in the past three weeks or…paying the attention to each other that we have. Do you realize you and I actually made love!? We made love, Lyd! That’s nuts!” Roger poked my shoulder and I laughed at him again.

 “Well….yeah but…let’s be honest…we fucked on the yacht.” I reminded him.

 “No! No we did not! We were….we just…well we…yeah we fucked on the yacht and that was hot as hell.” Roger admitted me. “Come ‘ere.” He pulled my lips into his. “I love you, babe.

 “I love you. Thank you for…” I shook my head, fearful my tears would creep back.

 “For…” Roger stopped me.

 “Stop.  I know what you’re gonna’ say. Lydia, you are already perfect to me, okay? Don’t lay there and say ‘thank you for not throwin’ me out in yesterday’s bloody bathwater because I can’t have your baby’.  For one day, Lyd. Please, I’m beggin’ you…just one day out of your life…fuck up. Just….just fuck it all up ‘cause you know I’m not gonna’ care.” He petted my cheek. I smiled. “I know! I know! Those words are terrifying to you. I just wish you’d give yourself a break, babe.” I had no idea how to respond to Roger’s genuine, heart-poured words.

 “Maybe I will today.” I told him. He smiled at me.

 “No you won’t! You say that…but you won’t fuck up. ‘Cause truthfully Lyd, I don’t think you could let yourself. You’d have too much guilt. So, stop mentally cuttin’ yourself in two over this. Instead…let’s go get my mum, bring her back here with us for the day and we’ll some lunch.” Roger finished. I took a deep breath.