Our Bodies

Bucket Hats & Starry Nights

when i was younger
i talked a lot
my mom always told me to stop talking so much
i knew i was in love when she told me she loved the way i could talk the day away until my voice faded into the dead of night
when i was younger
i never thought anyone would fall in love with me
i never thought someone would make me feel as though the sky was hand painted by them, just for me
i never thought someone would make me feel like every star in the sky was placed there just so i could see them out of my bedroom window at 2 am when i can't sleep
i never thought someone could ever make me feel the way she does
the way she makes my stomach do somersaults deep in my gut beyond the depths of my body i never knew could be reached by just someone's words
the way her words can build sky scrapers in my chest that don't dare break through my ribs, but build new passageways for the blood to pass through
the way her eyes blink like twinkling lights on a holiday night when you can't see 10 feet ahead of you because of the snow storm
but you don't care, as long as you see the lights
i never want to see the lights dim
i never want the somersaults to stop
and i never want her to stop building skyscrapers
I fell in love with her the day she asked me to borrow my bucket hat
It was the middle of December, but she would've worn that bucket hat on Christmas if I let her
She hated the sun in her eyes when she was driving, but the way the sun flashed through the trees and hit every cell of her iris made me feel like the earth was finally whole again
She didn't realize the kind of healing power she held within her
She healed me when her lips oozed the words "I love you" like they couldn't wait 5 more seconds to leave like when you're stuck at your aunts Christmas party
Her lips never leaked bad words, but her brain did
The stream of thoughts in her brain only seemed to create rust
She let her water get too cold, she froze to the point of cracking and it seemed irreversible, since I was no plumber and she didn't have a tool kit
But I would've ran to get an overpriced wrench at Home Depot at 4 am if that's what she asked
I would've climbed a ladder to her favorite star, the big bright one right under the Big Dipper
I would've put it in my pocket and handed it to her with a smile on my face, she would've thought my smile was brighter than that star anyway
She always had a way of making me feel like I was the brightest star in the whole universe
She had this way of making me feel like my smile was the only one she wanted to see and my eyes were her favorite to look at
I never knew how she made me feel like that, but I'm so grateful she did
She had a beauty to her that I had never seen in magazines or Hollywood, I only found that kind of beauty when I kissed her
She had a way of making skin feel like satin and days feel like minutes
She never knew the pain I held, because I held her tighter
She never knew the healing she did to me, because she never saw me at my worst
She fell in love with me for everything I already had, not the potential of what I could be
She loved me for who I was, and everything that came with it
She loved me, and she let me know
And lucky for me, she still does