Mister A* [Benedict Cumberbatch Fan Fiction]

Twenty Two

"Darling, there is something you need to know." Ben sighed as he arose from his chair and sitting beside me on the bed. "You are here, not just because of how much you drank." 

I looked up at him and wiggled up the bed. "What do you mean?" My body ached and something did not feel right.

"You were... you were attacked." His hand ran cupped my cheek and his thumb rubbed my face. "I'm sorry."

My eyes lined with tears and shook my head in confusion. "No, no that can't be true?"

He shook his head and placed his hand back on mine. "I'm so sorry. You blacked out and one of the guys at the party..." 

I shook my head and cut Ben off mid-sentence, "I don't want to know." 

Silence echoed the ward as neither of us said a word. Minutes ticked by which soon lead to the hours flying by. The winter sun came glistening through the windows, shining over the hospital ward. The officers had been and took my statement and took the evidence they needed. I have just gone in one big circle. I began in a hospital bed and now back in a hospital bed. This time though, I wanted to go home. I wanted my bed and my pyjamas and to get out of this hospital gown. I wanted a bath and to clean myself. Luckily, soon enough I was discharged and we were home. I had taken myself to my room and threw myself into bed. "New me..." I whispered to myself, "More like, same me - someone elses property to be thrown about." 

Ben sat beside Mum at the dining table, where she sat sobbing. "Why her, Ben. Why does this keep happening to her." 

He placed his hand on her back and rubbed it gently, "Poppy, I'm sorry. I am truly sorry."

Mum didn't reply. Tears fell down her cheeks as she thought things through about her life, my life and everything going on. "I wish her dad was still around. None of this would have ever happened and we'd be safe." She whispered to herself.

"Everyday, I wish I could change places with him. He sounded like the nicest man ever to have graced this earth. Tilly tells me stories about him all the time and the bond you all had sounded magic." Ben cracked a smile, trying to help her smile.

"James was a beautiful man, inside and out. He was my childhood sweetheart. We had been together ever since we were thirteen and married by the time we were twenty. We then had Tilly a year later. He was there every step of the way throughout everything. He worked all hours to make sure we had food on the table and clothes on our backs." A smile crawled onto her face. "Yes, he loved his bike, but he loved me. He loved Tilly. Tilly was his world. The pair were inseparable. They would go to the park, the beach, the cinema and so many other places. I barely saw them apart. She was the biggest daddy's girl going. I loved every moment watching them together." Her smile was genuine and her sad tears turned to happy ones. Each droplet formed from purity.

"That sounds lovely." Ben smiled, hanging on Mum's every word.

"Yes, it was. When James died, it was like part of Tilly died. She became depressed, lonely, isolated, the list goes on."

Ben's head lowered, struggling to listen to the words now. His hand rested on Mum's and squeezed it tight.

"That was, until you came into her life. You have helped her find herself again. You've helped her find her smile. For that, James would be so pleased she's found someone who will help her, look after her, and care for her." Mum placed her hand back on top of Ben's and returned the squeeze.

Ben couldn't speak. His eyes lined with tears.

"Ben, I know you're her teacher. I understand you should not be getting this involved, but I cannot thank you enough for everything from giving us a place to stay to caring for Robbie and Tilly, and also myself. You are like family now, and none of us could imagine life without you." Tears continued to line Ben's cheeks as Mum continued to sing Ben's praises.

Unfortunately, Ben still felt guilt ridden about everything. "Thank you, Poppy." He leaned over and placed a kiss on her forehead. "I will also look after you all. You're all like family to me too and I hate that bad things keep happening to you all." He arose from his seat and brushed his shirt down, straightening out the creases. "I'm going to check on Tilly, and make sure she's okay. If you need me, just shout." As he passed Mum, he gave her shoulder a squeeze of reassurance.

"Tilly?" He asked as he knocked on my door, waiting for a reply.

I laid still in a pool of my tears. I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. My mind paralysing me out of fear.

The door handle turned slowly, as Ben stepped inside the room, gently closing the door behind him. "Tilly?" He asked again.

My eyes wouldn't move. I couldn't look at him. I remained curled in a ball, staring at the wall.

"It's Ben." Ben added. He slowly walked to the bed.

I knew it was him. I didn't want to see anyone. I just wanted to cry. Cry on my own.

"Til?" He questioned, sitting on the edge of my bed, gently placing his hand on my head before running his fingers through my hair.

My body shuddered at the touch.

"I'm sorry everything that's happened has been bad. I'm sorry there's been nothing I can do to stop it. It was my fault, I shouldn't have made you go to that party." He continued to play with my hair.

"If I stayed at home, this wouldn't have happened." I whispered, tears running down my face.

"I know and I'm sorry." Ben's cheerful tune mellowed.

"First it's Bear treating me like he owns me. Next it's this guy. Who next? Who's going to think I'm their property next?"

"No one, I won't let them!" Ben said protectively.

"You said that last time. 'I'll look after you' you said. Now look what's happened." I snapped. Tears flooding down my face.

"I know. I've done an awful job in looking after you. I want to be better. I want to be able to cherish you and protect you. If you would let me, I'd like to love you." He replied, caught off guard by his own words.

My tears calmed. I slowly turned towards Ben and looked up at him. "Love me?" I questioned.

Ben gulped and he moved to the floor. Kneeling on the carpet to look at me. "I, I love you. Over the past few months, I have felt something. A connection I suppose. There was something there from the first time I laid eyes on you."

I shook my head, "You're just saying that. You've looked after me. You feel pity and responsibility for me. This isn't love." I laugh slightly after.

He shook his head back, "No. No this isn't pity. This is love. I get butterflies when we are alone. When we touch or you rest your head in my lap, I feel a warm sensation in my chest. You give me love and you give me light. You've taught me so much about myself and the world around us. You've opened my eyes to a new way of living and I never want to leave. Tilly, I do love you."

My eyes lined with tears once more. "I don't know what to say."

"Say nothing. I shouldn't have said anything." Ben looked down. "I'm sorry."

As he apologised, I leaned over to him and placed my hand on his shoulder. My eyes looked at his and my body began to shake slightly, before I leaned closer. My body filled with butterflies. I didn't understand the feeling inside my stomach. Eventually, our lips touched. My body began to have an internal firework show and a party celebrating the emotions I felt towards the man knelt before me. His eyes looked into to mine, and pushed gently into the kiss. His lips were soft but passionately resting against mine. Maybe, he did love me? This was love? Wow.

Our lips soon separated, when he realised what happened. "I... I love you, Tilly."

"I know." I replied. Did I love him? Maybe it was just a sense of happiness and flattery? Maybe I was overwhelmed? Or maybe, I actually loved him.