Mister A* [Benedict Cumberbatch Fan Fiction]

Nine

Dragging my feet along the corridor, I soon arrived at the staff room. It was time to go and to let Ben meet the people I, unfortunately, cohabit with. I plopped on a chair and leant my head back against the wall. Millions of thoughts swirled around my head as I tried to shut all elements of noise out. My messy red hair fell over my shoulders as I squeezed my eyes shut. I wanted the world to stop spinning. I wanted the ground to swallow me whole. I didn't want to be here anymore. Bear's words kept spiralling my mind, though, we will continue when you get home. I don't want to go home. I don't want to be at home!

     As my head spun with his voice, another slipped in "Tilly? Tills? It's time to go." I opened my eyes and Ben was crouched in front of me. His hands rested on my knees. His thumbs rubbed them gently. Soothingly even. He gave me a smile to ask if I was ready and I gave him a nod to confirm. "Come on then, lead the way." He arose and gestured for me to lead.

I got off my seat and did as I was told and lead the way. "We need to pick up Robbie before we go home," I said, turning, slightly, to face Ben, momentarily, as I pushed doors open to gain me access to the exit.

     Ben gleamed with joy and nodded, "Brilliant. I get to meet your little man." He might as well had clapped his hands and jumped on the spot as his body filled with excitement.

I don't know if he was genuinely excited or just trying to make me smile, but whatever he was trying to do, he did manage to put a small smile on my face. As we left the college grounds and removed our lanyards from necks and stuffed them in our bags, we walked down the hill towards the town to get the bus. Jabbering away, we spoke about everything and anything from Steinbeck to fish and chips. The more we spoke, the more at ease I became. I still didn't want to take Ben back to meet my family, but for the time being, we were able to not talk about home life.

*

"Robbie, this is Ben, Tilly's teacher," I said softly to Robbie as I held him in my arms, whilst Ben flipped open Robbie's pram for me.

     Robbie waved at Ben.

Ben waved back and gave a friendly smile, "Hello Robbie." Ben was the first person I had met who saw through Robbie's physical differences and saw him for the little boy he truly was. He put his hand out to take Robbie's hand gently and gave it a shake.

     Robbie giggled and lifted Ben's hand up to his face and gave it a lick.

Still, Ben saw past this. He didn't flinch or pull away, but instead, let Robbie carry on.

     My cheeks glowed a slight blush of red as I watched, holding Robbie in my arms, but Ben said nothing about it.

"Robbie, is it okay if I come and meet your mummy and Bernard?" Ben asked. His eyes were locked on Robbie's.

     Robbie nodded with a smile.

I placed and strapped Robbie, safely, in his pram and off we popped home. Now, my stomach was flipping and turning. I pushed Robbie all the way home and Ben walked alongside the pram singing songs to Robbie.

     "Old McDonald had a farm, ee-ie-ee-ie-o. And on that farm he had a cow, ee-ie-ee-ie-o" Ben sang, causing Robbie to sway in his seat as we went up the winding roads to our estate.

You could tell Ben didn't suit this environment. He was smiling for starters. No one smiled here. It was grey and gloomy. He was walking around wearing a smart pair of trousers, a crisp white shirt with a knitted cardigan and a black tie. Everyone else was wearing track suits and Adidas trainers. This was not right. This made me feel worse.

     As we arrived at my door, I turned to Ben and I sighed, "I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry." Tears lined my eyes and I pushed the door open. As I opened the door, the light from the outside was lost. The house was dark. The house was cold. The house was like the inside of my head. Life did try to bounce around the halls, but that all ended when I clocked eyes with Bear.