If You're Gonna Be The Death Of Me That's How I Wanna Go

Chapter 3

He stood outside of the tall door, hand poised over the chocolate brown wood. Logan hesitated, before knocking twice. "Come in!" Roman called, and Logan took a deep breath before pulling open the heavy door.

Roman was draped over a chair, but stood up when he saw that his visitor was Logan. "Logan, my dear. It has been absolutely ages since I saw you last." Roman began, dramatically throwing his arm across his eyes. Logan's heart clenched, and he felt his hand brush against the cool silver handle of the dagger in his pocket.

Roman frowned. "What seems to me the trouble, dearest? Just say the word and I will help y-" "That's just it Roman." Logan interrupted his lover. "You're the problem." "How so?" Roman asked after his initial shock had faded slightly. Logan kept his eyes locked on the floor, not willing to meet the prince's gaze. He felt a soft glove nudge his chin upwards. Roman stood inches from his face, jade eyes filled with worry. "You can tell me everything mi amor. No matter what it is, I will help you get through it." Logan sighed loudly and rested his head on the prince's shoulder.

"Roman, I'm not who you think I am. I'm not a servant and I'm not a tutor." Logan felt tears prick at his eyes. "I'm.." he couldn't bring himself to say it out loud. "Incredible?" Roman offered. "Charming and genius in every way? The best thing to happen to this castle in ages?" "An assassin." Logan said gravely, and dark brown teary eyes met curious green ones.

"You're not joking are you?" Roman repsonded, and Logan shook his head. "Oh." Roman said softly. "Are you sure there isn't another way?" Logan shook his head. "It's either you die by my hands or you are faced with a much more painful death by the hands of strangers." His voice cracked halfway through, and he decided to focus on the sound of Roman's voice rather than the rapidly approaching future.

"....... okay Lo? Can you do that for me?" Roman's voice drew Logan out of his trance. "What?" Logan asked and Roman sighed a melancholy sigh. "I said, once you kill me," Logan's throat closed up at the very prospect of that. "Promise me you won't feel guilty. Do not blame yourself for this. My darling, I need you to understand just how much I love you. It's going to be okay. Can you keep me in your heart? Can you do that for me?" Logan forced himself to meet Roman's tearful gaze and he let out a soft cry at the sight of him. The 2 men just held each other in the middle of the vast room, reveling in the feeling of each other.

"How am I going to live without you?" Logan whispered, for speaking at a normal level would be highly inappropriate at a moment like this. "I don't know Lo. I just don't know." Roman whispered back, and he gave Logan a soft kiss on the lips. It was sweet and it was salty from the tears.

Roman stepped back first, and streamtched his arms widely from his body in a dramatic motion leaving himself vulnerable to his deadly lover. Logan took out the dagger, barely hanging onto it with his shaking hands. He walked over to the prince, the sharp tool aimed right over his heart. He lifted it, and dropped it at the last moment.

"I....... I can't do it. I can't kill you Ro." Logan sobbed. "I always thought... I thought that you'd be the death of me." He continued. "But now look at where we are." Roman knelt on the floor and scooped up the smaller man into his arms.

"Oh Logan. If you are meant to be the death of me, there's no way I'd rather go." He pressed the knife into Logan's hand and helped guide it towards his chest. "I'll make it as quick as possible darling." Logan promised. The dagger pressed itself into the tender flesh, and a sickening blossom of blood began to bleed into Roman's coat.

He hissed in pain, and both of them were shaking. "You are the best part of my life." Roman coughed, and Logan nodded. "I love you." "Love you too." Roman said hoarsely, and his tight grip on the other man's hand loosened.

"No. No no no. Please no. Don't leave me... not like this." Logan wept and wept, holding Roman's limp body as close to himself as he could. His eyes saw something on the ground next to the pile of misery. A shiny something, like a ray of hope.

He forced himself to gently lay his lover on the ground and crawled towards the hope. Picking it up, he prepared himself for the inevitable.

"Don't worry Ro. I'll be there soon. Just hang tight." And with that final sobering promise, Logan watched as light left his sight and he was with Roman all over again.