Four Seasons (Sesshomaru Fanfiction)

Winter: Chpt 15

15. Sesshomaru's Guilt

Sesshomaru wasn't a man of many words, that was true. But he wasn't mute. Hell, she actually managed to hold conversations with him – to tease him, even. So why had he chosen to leave her in the dark when it came to what he learnt about Kyou and her family – the one thing he knew that she desired more than anything – and how did he even come to learn about them in the first place?

When she had looked him in the eyes, she wanted so badly to confront him, to tell him how his actions had made him seem when she had finally realized the truth. She wanted to be mad at him. But she bit her lip, and she held herself back. She knew that, if nothing else, no reaction would have been more likely to evoke some kind of feeling in the daiyokai. She hoped she had. She hoped that even the lord of the west could realize when he had wronged someone...that he could feel even a shred of guilt.

Who would have thought that she had walked right beside the answer to so many of her questions...that she talked with the person who had those answers, that she had found herself admiring the person who held those answers...admiring him like some little girl.

"Spiders aren't as attractive."

Her words from before echoed in her mind. She scoffed, wishing she could take back that unexpectedly bold statement – wishing she could take back the days where she let herself feel less alone in his presence.

She wanted to stay angry at him, but more than anything at that moment, Akiko felt hurt. And she wanted him to at least acknowledge that he had caused her to feel that way.

"A dragon demon, huh," she sighed as she looked down at the grass. A trail of ants marched past her feet. She raised a hand and focused on her claws. They suddenly grew warm and she watched intently as those claws began to glow that strange orange color. It reminded her of Kyou's, and the way those claws had badly injured her when she had first encountered him.

"I finally know and yet I feel so underwhelmed."

"Maybe it's because what kind of demon you are doesn't change who you are." A strange and distant voice spoke up. It was the voice of an old woman – an old woman that sounded like...Kayo.

"Who-," her head shot up, her eyes scanning around her...and suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, there she was, standing before her, just as she once had so long ago, in her little brown apron with her hair up in a bun. Akiko's chest tightened.

"Why are you here?"

Kayo laughed and then slowly took a seat in the grass.

"Still an ungrateful little brat I see. I thought you'd appreciate me coming all the way from the underworld to listen to you whine. It's actually nice there you know."

She avoided the woman's eyes. A knot had formed in her throat. It had been a while since she had last felt so unsettled. But Kayo continued,

"A dragon demon...who would've thought."

"Yeah," Akiko muttered.

"Not very excited I see. Something else bothering you? Someone else? That evil brother of yours?"

She looked up at the old woman, looked her in her small brown eyes, and then looked away. She couldn't face her...not after she had caused her death.

"Are you still hurting?" Concern filled the old woman's voice.

"I was," she admitted, both to Kayo and to herself, "with you gone I felt...alone... painfully alone." She forced herself to look up, to look at her. "And then I kind of started following someone around since we had the same goal...to take revenge and kill Kyou." Akiko found herself smiling a bit at the thought – of how she'd let herself join Sesshomaru. And he'd actually let her.