17

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I still feel worthless
Like I'm not worth
An education
Or a family that hears me walk and talk
Or teachers that try so hard to
Encourage
A failure
That doesn't know where she's going
Or what she's doing
Like I'm breathing
In an apocalypse of teens
That feel everything but happiness
In a world where drugs,
Pain,
And masking your emotions
Is more natural than expressing them
Where losing friends
Is so much easier
Than gaining them
And now I'm stuck here wondering
If I'm the problem or if they are
No sight of a path that is supposed to be visible
At the age of seventeen
I want to break my bad habits
But my sadness and anxiety
Are stiffening the need to change
That cigarettes are more useful than attempting
To talk to people
Who never listen

December
I lost someone I could never replace
That will always be with me
But is no longer here physically

I don't know what I'm doing
Or where I'm going
Or why I'm here
Maybe eighteen will be better
But for now, please
Let the tears explain it

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