Her heart is breaking in front of me

'Life had just begun, but now I've gone and thrown it all away'

She applies her makeup, unsure how she talked herself into facing school this morning. It is the last thing she wants to do, except she knows that she has to. Joe was right, she did need to face it at some point. She couldn't become a recluse. No matter how much she wanted too. Joe Sugg was right, she needed to make sure that she went in acting like she didn't care. Pretending that it didn't faze her that she, most likely, had lost all her friends. She would become the person that sat in the library alone, having no friends. Her life wasn't supposed to go like this. She was going to be a hairdresser, marrying someone nice and have a few kids. She wasn't supposed to be plagued by nudes.

She couldn't eat breakfast, but she picks up the lunch her mum made her, smiling slightly as she puts some of her favourite things in her lunch. Both her parents had left for work before she was awake, and today she was glad of that. She was able to put her music on, loud. Almost as if to drown out her fears for today. She found herself belting out 'Eastside' as she was in the shower. It was still dark outside, not that she was surprised. It was the end of November, what was she expecting. Maybe the darkness would absorb her, so she wouldn't have to face school. She made sure to layer up, it was cold outside, and she didn't want to freeze, or maybe she did. If she became an ice block, she couldn't go to school. She could remain as a statue and then melt, and she would never have to face reality.

A knock at the door alerts her to the fact that she is about to face the real world. 'Let me just put my coat and gloves on.' She tells Joe, grabbing her shoes and running to find her coat, it was hung up under her bed. The obvious choice of where to hide a coat. He is grinning, it was common knowledge that she was relatively forgetful. 'What are you smirking at Sugg?'

'You.' He tells her, as he notices her face fall. 'I didn't know anyone could be as disorganised as you.' She lets out a small grin, grabbing her keys off the side and putting them in her bed. 'Your head would fall off if it wasn't attached to your body.'

'You better believe it.' She slams the door behind her, as Joe mock winced. 'I don't want to do this, I hate you.'

'Most people do.' He teases her. 'You have to do this Dianne, and you know that. Surely that's why you agreed?' He is met with a death stare. 'Dianne it will be okay. We have most of the same lessons today, just stay with me.'

'My mum told me she didn't believe me last night.' She slides her hand into her coat, she's freezing. She has been in her nice, warm hour, in fluffy pyjamas most weekend. This was a harsh reminder of what she is about to-do. A wakeup call maybe? 'And I don't want to do this.' She reminds him, for the one hundredth time.

'But what about break and lunch?' He can clearly see this is worrying her, this isn't something that would particularly bother him, except he's not Dianne, and this is something that worries her. 'I'm going to be a loser for the rest of my life.' He can't hide the snort.

'You won't be. Your Dianne friggin' Buswell.' He smiles at her, as their pace increases, knowing they are cutting it fine trying to make it on time to school. 'You will sit with me, and my friends.'

'They don't like me.' She points out. 'And I've not been the nicest to you lot.' He shrugs.

'It doesn't matter.'

'It does.' She argues back. 'I want to go home.'

'It really doesn't.' They approach the school, and Dianne can feel her heartrate increasing, so much so she thinks that she is about to have a heart attack. 'It's okay Di.' He tells her, sensing her fear as the school gates looms ahead of them. He hears her gulp. They walk side by side into school, she is met with people calling her names. It is quite hypocritical from some of the people calling her these names, particularly when Katya openly cheated on Neil. She didn't experience half of this. Everyone seemed to forget that after a day. She could tell this wasn't going away.