Six whiskeys in and I was giggling for no reason. I had filled Liam and Niall in on the current situation and thankfully they kept the drinks coming. I was laughing my arse off at things that weren't funny, but I didn't care and for a while my mind was at peace. Unfortunately, that only lasted until my phone vibrated in my pocket. I took it out and after some fumbling managed to unlock it to see I had a message from Harry.
"Bastard," I mumbled under my breath, but read the message anyway.
From H: I'm so sorry for everything, Z. I need to explain, please. Can I come over?
I snorted.
"Who does he think he is?" I said to myself. I locked the phone and put it back in my pocket. But after a moment, I huffed, got it back out and read the message again. I drained my glass quickly and, mumbling a "be right back", I stumbled my way past the boys and out the front door of the bar.
Once outside I lit a cigarette. I read the message a third time and started typing a reply. Being as drunk as I was it took me three times as long to actually finish it. Apparently, some part of my brain was still slightly sober, because for a split second I wondered if it was a good idea to answer him, considering the state that I was in. But the drunk part of my brain quickly overruled everything else and I hit send.
To H: No need to explain, BABY. I know what's going on. Career first and all that. Have fun with your fake girlfriend. Hope they'll find you someone pretty ;)
I took a long drag from the cigarette, feeling how it calmed me, how it fogged my mind even more. I closed my eyes, but when an image of Harry kissing some random girl flashed before my eyes I decided I hadn't had nearly enough to drink. But when I started walking towards the door to the bar, I could feel my phone vibrate once more.
From H: Are you drunk Zayn?
I huffed.
To H: Why the hell do you care?
From H: Because I do. I always have and always will. I love you, Z.
To H: Yeah, right. You have a nice way of showing that. Now leave me alone, I have some more whiskey to drink. Bye.
With that I turned my phone off and went back inside. My mood had shifted though and I couldn't get back to my happy place. I did drink a few more glasses, but it didn't help and a short while later, Louis and Liam helped me back to Louis's apartment where I had decided to crash for the night.
###
When I woke up the next morning the first thing I felt was the terrible pounding in my head. I tried to pry my eyes open, but the sun hit me right in the face and I groaned and shut them again tightly. My mouth felt like cotton and I still had a lingering taste of whiskey in my mouth which made my stomach turn. I groaned again at the thought of getting up and getting something to drink and a handful of painkillers.
"Zaynie," came Louis' cheerful voice from somewhere nearby and I groaned again, trying to cover my head with a pillow.
"Zaynie," he called again. "Are you awake?"
"No!" My voice was so raw it sounded more like a growl than an actual word.
Louis chuckled and he seemed to be coming closer judging by his footsteps on the floor.
"Somebody had a rough night," he chuckled again, seemingly finding joy in my pain. "I have a remedy, but you gotta open your eyes." With that he pulled the pillow away from me.
I groaned again and tried to turn around, but that was easier said than done. I had apparently crashed on Louis' couch and my attempt at turning around ended up with me on the floor, shouting some choice words that echoed painfully in my head, and Louis laughing his arse off above me.
"I'm glad I amuse you," I mumbled, unbelievably mad at him and myself. But especially myself for making some very stupid decisions last night.
"I'm never drinking again," I groaned.
"We'll see about that. Come on, Zayn, I got some painkillers and water. You just gotta get up."
"Give me a minute... or an hour." I tried to get my arms under me, so I could lift my upper body up, but everything seemed to hurt. And my stomach was also trying to remind me that I should never ever drink like that again. After a bit of struggle I managed to lean back against the couch, still sitting on the floor though. I hadn't had the courage to open my eyes however and blindly reached for the painkillers and water that Louis was offering. I didn't succeed and after a moment I had to open my eyes and saw a very smug looking Louis grin down at me.
"Come on, man. Give me the stuff already," I grumbled. He had mercy on me then and handed it over. I quickly swallowed the pills and drained the glass of water.
"I got breakfast in the kitchen. Want some?"
I quickly shook my head.
"Only coffee, please. Black and strong."
"Sure thing," he replied cheerfully.
After a bit more struggle I managed to get up from the floor, but standing was still a challenge, so I sat down on the sofa and leaned back, closing my eyes once more. Luckily after a while the painkillers started to kick in and my head didn't pound as strongly anymore. My stomach however was still another story.
Louis came back with a steaming mug of coffee, which I took gladly. Surprisingly the first sip settled my stomach somewhat and I was convinced I would not spill my guts all over the floor anymore.
"Thanks, Lou," I said, being very thankful for everything he had done for me.
"It's fine, Zaynie. What are friends for?" He grinned again and I actually smiled back at him.
After that night out I had done final preparations, mind and body, for my tour. I hadn't heard from Harry anymore. He hadn't tried to contact me again after my last message from that drunken night. Surprisingly, the memory of me texting Harry was very clear in my mind, but I couldn't make up my mind if I regretted what I had sent him or not.
I had seen some pictures floating around the internet of him with a brunette. I thought I had seen her somewhere before, but I couldn't be bothered to actually look up her name. I was very mad at him and I was wondering how he or his management found that girl so quickly, but who knows. Bitterly I thought maybe labels had girls on standby for occasions like that and just needed to call her and she was on board. I hoped he was happy, but then again I also hoped he was miserable. Luckily, Jim hadn't brought up again that I should get a so-called girlfriend as well. I apparently had made it very clear that I would not be going along with that. Also, Harry's "girlfriend" took the wind out of the sails of any stories revolving around the relationship between him and me anyway.
However, I was unbelievably jealous and missed Harry so much it hurt, whenever I thought of him. So, I tried not to. Tomorrow would be my first show in London. I had been rehearsing very hard and was confident that it would go very good and I hoped I would really enjoy it. I knew Louis, Liam and Niall would be there as well, which I was glad for. I wanted them very much to be a part of this. They would have loved to go on tour with me, but all three of them had work, so that wasn't possible. But they all would be off for a couple of weeks for my last shows in America. That would be amazing and I was very much looking forward to it.
Thinking of the upcoming shows from time to time I remembered the panic attack I had had on that fateful night with Harry, our very last night together. I was a bit worried that I might experience something like that again, but until now I hadn't and I was more confident. So, I didn't dwell on it and just looked forward to going on tour.
***************
A/N: Any thoughts and comments are greatly appreciated. Thanks so much for reading!!!
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