Lost Little Red.

8

The days leading up to Nikita's wedding were getting closer. I've done everything in my power to keep my distance from Theo, he had other plans. Every other day was a new gift in front of my bedroom door.

It felt like a bribe now instead of a sweet gesture. He didn't know I had overheard his conversation but I knew this was just him trying to win me over. I didn't want it. Any of it!

Anya didn't seem to know what her brother was doing. She was such a sweet woman but a complete ditz sometimes. I couldn't take my anger out on her.

Evie came around more, spending time between both Theo's and the Volkov's. I needed someone to talk to, I needed to vent.

I pulled out my phone and made my way outside. I never took or made calls in the house anymore. I couldn't trust Theo. Two rings and Carmen's voice filled the phone making me sigh in relief.

"Scar? Is everything alright?"

I cocked my brow and started to pace the back yard.

"Why do you assume something is wrong?"

She laughed then I could hear the sounds of shuffling and my favorite godson demanding chicken nuggets from his dad.

"You're calling me...you never call so spill what's going on?"

I felt myself wanting to break but I knew I couldn't. Not right now at least. "It's about Theo...then there's Nikita's wedding and Evie never being home-"

"Scar! Okay calm down start with Theo."

And I did, I told her everything that had happened from the engagement to the sex to the phone call. She was silent through all of it. Listening and taking everything in.

"Okay so what I'm getting out of this is Theo is an asshole and you need to be back home where you belong in the first place!"

I felt the panic setting in, my anxiety creeping up my throat and holding on for dear life. So I changed the subject to Nikita's wedding.

"The wedding is in two weeks I had planned to back out the day of the wedding. How fucking shitty is that Carmen? All because I can't face him."

"I won't lie to you Scar that's pretty fucked up. You think you can't face him but the Scar I knew could take on anyone."

She paused taking a deep breath before she continued.

"When you showed up at Giovanni's with him I knew you were different. Then...then when you saved him from raping me. I knew right then that you were the strongest person I would ever know.

You fought a grown man to save some young kid you didn't even know. You became like a big sister to me. I looked up to you and I still do because of who you are I turned into who I am. And I like to think I'm a strong badass mother who would do whatever it takes to make sure her family is happy and safe."

I was crying now there was no hiding it. Hot tears streamed down my face at hearing Carmen's words. I didn't realize she thought that way about me. I also didn't realize how far I had fallen. I was weak and I hated it.

I would have been back to my old self, or at least I like to think I would have if Ivan would have come over again. He never did though and I'm pretty sure it had everything to do with Vitaly. Maybe I was just wishful thinking.

"I-I didn't realize you felt that way. I always tried to keep you safe while in the house. Something my parents never did for me. I looked at you and saw myself. Some lost kid who had nobody left in the world."

"You're so much stronger than this moment right now Scar. You just have to change your life. Take charge and face your demons."

I took her words to heart as we said goodbye and I continued to make a path in the yard with all of my pacing. Was she right and I really did need to face Vitaly? Yes...I really did need to do it. I was done being sad. I was done being depressed and taking those stupid pills. I was done with Theo's bullshit.