Take My Pain Away

Chapter 15

Fili was not sure how he had managed to make the arrangements Abrâ needed for her quest. He had enlisted the help of Nori to gather supplies; although technically not stolen, Nori had a knack for secreting away most anything. It was not difficult to convince Kili to go with her in his stead; he was young and full of adventurous spirit.

In a surprisingly quick time, Bifur and Bofur had put together a springed cart to carry Abrâ until she was well enough to ride. It was compact, but robust and should manage their needs quite well.

Abrâ was preparing herself, as well. Every day she rose from her bed, despite protests from Oin, and made regular circuits around her chamber and the corridor outside. She did this as often as possible, pushing herself farther each time.

It was not long before all of the preparations were complete. The foursome had decided that this was the night to leave.

Abrâ sat up in bed, her sketchbook opened up beside her, as she tried to compose a letter to Thorin. She knew he would be angry; no, not angry - absolutely livid! She would be lucky to survive his wrath, if he were to catch them.

My dearest Thorin,

It is with the heaviest of hearts that I write this letter. You know why I have had to leave; I do not need to explain it to you. However, I beg of you not to be angry. I will do everything within my abilities to keep everyone safe.

I do not know if I will return to you. I do not know if my quest will give us the result we both desire. I DO know that what I am about to attempt is necessary.

Mahal be with you.

All my love,

Abrâ

She read over the letter and re-wrote it.

Thorin,

It is with the heaviest of hearts that I write this letter. You know why I have had to leave; I do not need to explain it to you. However, I beg of you not to be angry. I will do everything within my abilities to keep everyone safe.

I do not know if I will return. I do not know if my quest will give me the result I desire. I DO know that what I am about to attempt is necessary.

Mahal be with you.

Abrâ

She could not bear to leave her heart exposed on a sheet of paper. She was torn by this decision. She didn't want to leave Thorin, but to stay with the curse still upon her was abhorrent. It was cruel and selfish.

She jumped as a knock was heard at her door. "Come in," she called.

Gandalf entered the room in a flourish and set a 2-pint sized container and a bag on the table. He crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed. He sat and observed her for many moments.

Finally, he spoke, "So, you are going?"

"Going? Where am I going?"

Gandalf cocked a fluffy eyebrow at her and cleared his throat. "Hurrumph. I know what you lot are up to."

"You lot? Wh-"

"Abrâ, you cannot fool me." He rose from the bed and opened the bag. He pulled out a second bag and a set of underclothes. "These are lined with silk," he explained as he turned back to her. "They are less likely to chafe." He reached behind and grabbed the other bag. "This should be enough bandaging," he placed his forefinger on the container, "and this enough salve. Be sure to get an even coating of the salve and securely, but not too tightly, wrap your burns in the bandaging. Then put the silkies on under your clothes."

Abrâ's voiced cracked, "Incànus," she paused to gain control of her breathing.

Gandalf crossed again to her bed. Gingerly, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and leaned her head against his ribs. "There, there, girl. I understand the call of the ring." Abrâ looked up at him sharply. "I, too, can hear it; but it is you who must take it. You and the lizard are connected to the ring in a way even Sauron could not understand." He wiped the tears that were falling, streaming down her face. "I have absolute faith in you."

Abrâ threw her arms around Gandalf's waist and exclaimed, "Ouch!" but she did not let go. She hugged him to her tightly and mumbled into his robes, "I'm scared, Incànus. Terribly frightened."

"You are wise to be so," he lifted her chin and fixed her gaze. "Of anybody in this mountain you, and you alone, know what to expect from Mordor." He took a firm hold of her chin and grinned at her, "Keep them safe, I don't know how Thorin would react to any harm coming to any of them."

He kissed her forehead, he really was quite fond of her, and left her to ponder her upcoming adventure.

At midnight, freshly bandaged, and wearing her new silkies, Abrâ sat at her table waiting. Bofur knocked lightly and sprang into the room, his normal, jovial self. "Are ya ready?" he virtually shouted.

"Shhh," Abrâ put her finger to her lip. "We don't want anyone to know."

Bofur had the good sense to look abashed. He grimaced, "Sorry," and pointed at the pack on the table, "that you, then?"

Abrâ grinned, it was almost impossible to remain angry with the dwarf, "Yes, that is all."

"You've got your medicine?"

Abrâ nodded, yes.

"And bandages?"

Again, a nod.

"Clothes?"

"For Mahal sake, Bofur! I have everything I should need."

"Alright then, the others are waiting just outside the gates."

Abrâ insisted on walking to the rendez-vous, which took some time, as she had to frequently lean against a wall to catch her breath. She sighed happily when she saw her little trap, travelling was going to take a long time to become accustomed to. Each companion had a pony readied, plus there were two more: 1 to pull the trap and another to carry the other supplies. Once Abrâ was able to ride, the trap would be abandoned.

Fili stepped forward and longed to hug Abrâ, instead he put his lips close to her ear, "Take care of my brother."

She smiled softly, "You know I will." She swallowed hard in an attempt to hold back her tears. "Watch over him, Fili. Don't get too frustrated by him; he loves you."

"And he loves you!" Abrâ felt like she was breaking inside, so badly did she want to comfort Fili. "You need to come back."

A cloud of uncertainty flitted across her face, "I will do my best."

Fili followed her to the trap and felt helpless as he watched her struggle up onto the little seat. As she grasped the sides of the trap to pull herself in she clenched her teeth to hold back her wince of pain. Every touch felt like her skin was being stripped from her body, but she no longer had anyone she could count on to help her, and thus must return to doing for herself.

Bofur, Bifur, Kili and Bilbo all swung themselves up into their saddles, while Abrâ gave a click of her teeth and a brisk snap of the reins.

***

High above the gates of Erebor two tall dwarves watched the little caravan pull away.

***