Like Killer, Like Son

How To Be Normal

~Alex~

"Ok tell me again why its so necessary to be a normal human being" I groan.

"Because I dont want you to go to jail, i dont want you to die, and I dont want anyone else to die" john says.

"Ugh fine. Only because its getting annoying that someone calls the cops as soon as they see me."

"On that note, you need a new look" he reaches towards me.

"Hell no. I swear if you touch my hair I'll chop off your hand" I growl. He back away.

"Hey Alex, I know someone who can fix...all of this" usnavi says while waving his hand around my face. I slap him and look away.

"I hate you guys"

"Thats a lie and you know it."

"Fine. But none of you are laying a finger on my hair or you can start digging your grave" I sigh in defeat.

Of course no one listened. No one ever listens to the murderer.

In the end, I looked like my younger self. Im actually impressed. They cut my hair no matter how much I argued. It was pulled into a ponytail and i was wearing my old glasses.

"Next up, new clothes" john says.

"Hey sorry guys I should go. I have a life to live and would prefer to not spend it on how i look. Besides, id rather not kill in new clothes" I get up to leave but Philip stops me.

"Aw come on, i thought you were on my side"

"Nope!" He laughs.

"I hate all of you..." I groan.

You know those cliche montages in movies when someone goes through a thousand different outfits? Thats a good summary of how I wasted the next hour.

"What about this?" I ask. I walk out the bathroom in a revolution-type outfit. I actually liked it.

"Really? We live in the 2000's not the 1700's. And where'd you find that?" Usnavi says.

"Hey, the 1700's was an incredible time period!" I shout.

"...there was a revolutionary war"

"So? War never changes and neither do I"

"Just pick something else"

"Ugh fine. But if i have to change again im going back to the revolution."

The final decision was on a sweater and long sleeve shirt with dark jeans.

"There. Happy? I know I'll never be satisfied but geez!" I snap.

"Hey at least you look good" John says.

"Hiss"

He kisses my cheek and I sigh. I go downstairs and sit on the couch. The others follow which gives me an idea.

"Hey Usnavi, wanna hear a story?" I ask.

"Uhh sure" he says.

"Alex I swear if this is what you told me-" I cut off John by telling Usnavi and Philip basically my life story. John grabs some snacks before sitting next to me.

~John~

I dont know how but Alex fell asleep while talking. He was close to the ebd of his "story" before leaning on me and falling asleep.

"I guess that's a sign that we should get to bed" I say.

I carry Alex to the spare bedroom before going back downstairs and laying on the couch.

"You guys dont stay in the same room?" Usnavi asks.

"Ehh...im almost certain he has a pocket knife and I dont want to get murdered in my sleep" i joke. "Besides, according to him we're 'not at that level of closeness'."

"Yeah right. He would say otherwise after you-"

"Uhh w-we dont need to bring that up again" i cut off Philip.

"Im afraid to ask...what exactly did you and alex do?" Usnavi says.

"W-well uhh...well would you look at the time! Uhh goodnight!"

I grab a blanket and lay down so i can avoid saying anything. I guess they took the hint and went to their room.

~I swear theres more and more secrets I have to keep~