Every Rose Has it's Thorns

Eric's Past

A/N: tw for abuse, violence, alcohol, and blood

It took a while before Eric and Alan returned to normal, but things finally settled down and Eric slowly learned to cope with the situation at hand better. After the accident with the building collapse, Eric had suffered permanent damage to his right knee that wasn't discovered until Eric had gone out on a collection and stepped wrong. Now he was sentenced to wear a brace while working and putting ice on it when the pain flared to a point he couldn't handle. Currently off duty and relaxing on the couch, Eric rubbed his knee a bit and sighed as he shifted the ice pack.

"Need more ice?" Alan asked, looking at him.

"Mm, maybe." He said. "Not sure." He added, frowning.

"Let me go get more just in case." Alan told him.

"Pain's down, just stick the whole thing in the freezer." Eric said.

"Alright." Alan told him, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Eric stared out the window of the doors leading to the balcony and allowed himself to think back to the first time he met Alan. He'd just graduated out of the academy and was struggling with how to handle collections, so Eric took him in and taught him how. Up until he met Alan, Eric sported a side shave hairstyle and maintained it pretty frequently, after that it grew out and Alan took to braiding it. Lo and behold, Eric adapted to the cornrows and hadn't changed it since.

He snapped out of his thoughts when Alan sat down next to him, humming some. Eric leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek, a smile on his face. He carefully pulled Alan into his lap, making the other laugh as he did so. Alan adjusted himself as he situated so he sat without putting too much of his weight on Eric's knee.

"I hope you know that no matter what happens, I love you more than you know." Eric told him.

"I know." Alan said, setting a hand on Eric's cheek and rubbing his thumb over it. "Can we just not think about...that for a day or two?" He asked. "Just focus on us and forget the world." He added, setting his other hand on Eric's face and leaning down for a kiss.

Eric hummed a bit as he kissed back, pulling away after a few moments. If Alan wanted to do nothing more than forget the world, then Eric would make sure his mind was focused on just them. He coaxed Alan out of his lap and stood up, swept him up, and made his way back to the bedroom.

"Forget the world you say?" He asked, stepping into the bedroom. "Allow me to assist you in doing so." He added, kicking the door closed behind them to shut the world out.

Eric shifted some, stretching out the next morning. He was suddenly aware of Alan's weight draped over him and he smiled some as he remembered the night before. He kept still, allowing Alan to remain asleep. He ran a hand down Alan's back, humming to himself at the feeling of how soft Alan's skin was. It was a different feeling compared to his, given the scars left on his from years of abuse during his human life. He sighed a bit and closed his eyes, doing his best to keep his mind clear and off his other life.

Try as he might Eric's mind still went to the part of his life he tried to avoid thinking about. He still remembered the feeling of the whip against his back every time he misbehaved and the sound of Eric Slingby Sr. yelling at him when he started crying in pain. Eric never mentioned to anyone that he'd been named after his father, though he was almost sure that there was a reaper in the dispatch that knew more about him than he let others onto know.

Eric snapped out of his memories when Alan shifted and settled down, sighing softly as he buried his face in Eric's neck. Alan was a late sleeper when they had a day off and Eric was the only one who knew that, especially since Alan had sworn him to secrecy. He slowly began to doze back off, sighing as he did so. He quickly became caught in his memories again, the dream he was having quickly turning into a nightmare.

He'd been standing in the middle of the living room, his siblings huddled behind him in fear as he stared his father down. Eric had stepped between them when his father slapped his oldest sister for coming in just a minute after the sun went down. Eric knew what was coming later, but he couldn't stand to see his siblings get hurt. Turning to them, he gestured for them to get out of the room. They quickly scrambled out of the room, his eldest sister holding onto their younger brother as they did so.

"You dare defy me, junior?" Came the snarl out of his father's mouth. "She deserved it and you know that."

"She was in the barn doing the work you forced her to do, you're the one that sent her out there and told her not to come back until she was done. Or are you too plastered to remember, old man?" Eric snarled back.

"Cut your attitude, boy." His father told him, the whip already in hand.

"I'm just reminding you that you're the one that sent her out there, you drunk bastard." Eric said.

He barely had time to react before he felt the whip connect with his back, Eric bit down on his tongue to keep from screaming out and scaring his younger siblings. Though he was sure that the sound of the whip connecting with his back was enough to do it. He shakes his head and recollects himself, letting out a shaky breath.

"Hands on the wall," His father says. "Eric Michael, I said. HANDS ON THE WALL."

Eric knew better than to keep his shirt on once that command was given, so once he dropped his shirt to the floor, Eric sat his hands on the wall and braced himself. After what felt like hours, Eric finally felt the whipping stop. His back was tore up and felt like it was on fire, moving slowly he stood up and turned around. He was met with the sight of his father charging at him with a knife.

Jolting awake with a cry of something similar to pain, Eric's chest heaved a bit as the world came back into focus. He blinked a bit when Alan's face came into view, a worried expression on his face. Eric sighed and assured him he was okay, running a hand down his face. He hated when he had nightmares, but he couldn't really stop them at this point. Sighing as he climbed out of bed, Eric glanced to his bedside table in consideration for a moment before he turned away and went to splash his face.

Eric stared at himself in the mirror, suddenly startles by the reflection of his father staring back at him. He punched and shattered the mirror, causing Alan, who had just finished pulling on his pajamas, to rush in with wide eyes.

"Eric?" He asked, looking between the shattered glass and Eric's hand.

"I hallucinated and panicked." Eric said, eyes watering as his chest tightened.

' Not now, please ' He thought, using his good hand to grip his chest.

He barely heard Alan's panicked voice as he collapsed, gasping for air. A panic attack flared up just as the Thorns decided to attack. Alan helped him sit up, rubbing his back as Eric gagged some. Once he was sure he wasn't going to puke, Eric got up off the ground and helped Alan clean up any broken glass.

"We'll have to fix the mirror, but that won't be too expensive." Alan said.

Eric nodded some and carefully picked up the bag that held the glass. He felt bad he'd even shattered it in the first place. Slipping on his shoes, Eric carried the bag out to the dumpster and tossed it. He walked back inside and made his way to the bedroom. He hugged Alan tightly and held him close. Alan, shocked by the action at first, hugged back and rubbed Eric's back as he broke down.

"Eric, you are not your father. You will never be him." Alan told him.

"I'm scared, Alan." Eric said, burying his face. "I'm so goddamn scared..."