Ares

Long day

After a long day of work, I sat down in a bar under my apartment. It's a really shitty apartment. Everything is broken, but I still like it. I'm slowly working on it. 

I like to think of it as a temporary thing because you know, all the mansions were already taken when I moved here. Someday it will hopefully look decent.

Who am I kidding, I hope I won't have to live here someday. Not that I'm not grateful, I'd like to be happy and do what I love in the near future.

I just wanted to have a one night stand, just sex with no obligations and no commitment. However, I did not want to get drunk. Alcohol brings out the worst in me, and I'm a lightweight, so I drink half a beer and I'm dancing on the table half naked. Not that I've ever done that.

I was practically slouching on the sticky counter in looked at the bartender. Graham was a cool guy if I do say so myself. We've become acquainted over this past few months and he was nice. He married young and was living happily with his wife, who used to help with serving drinks but now they usually call me if they need a hand since I'm close and its more convenient. That's how I got this apartment in the first place. I am aware of the fact that his wife Blue felt sorry for me and presented the idea of me occasionally working here and getting my apartment to Graham. But I didn't mind. I needed help. He was mixing some complicated drink that looked very colorful.

I was sipping on my club soda, which I honestly don't really like, but  it's cheap, and started counting the bottles. I like counting. They have a lot of different types of vodka and some syrup things, interesting. I liked counting. It calmed me down and my brain usually just floated away when I was counting. At the end of processing, I was not counting anymore but thinking about scenarios that were very unlikely to happen. 

I never wanted a man. Not in the right sense of the word at least. There were plenty of times where I wanted to be taken care of, cherished and loved but when nobody showed up to save the day I decided to simply make it work myself. I'd say I'm past the sulking phase. when I was younger I resented people because nobody was ever there for me but then again I didn't really ask for help. I never reached out. I'm still deciding if I regret that or not. I learned to do everything by myself however I still don't like doing everything myself. I wanted friends and I wanted a family. I wanted a large gossiping, annoying, nerve wracking family and loud, obnoxious, funny friends who would always cheer me up but that's not realistic I guess. I swore if I ever had a baby he or she would get the big loving family I never did. But in the end, I'd probably be happy with just one caring family member or friend. I was the black sheep of the family and that was okay. 

It didn't really mean much since my family was barely nonexistent. In high school I had a few acquaintances, they were great people to go to the mall with but I don't like malls. I don't resent anyone at least anymore or so I like to think. I'm in this not so big but still big city alone to get my college degree and do something with it. Might burn it, might put it to good use. Who knows. Of course, I had to work two jobs to afford this tiny shithole of an apartment but at least I was somehow independent.  Look at me being all mushy and deep I think I li -.

''Hey, mind if I sit here, while I wait for a friend.'' A strangers voice interrupted my internal daydreaming monologue and I spilled my drink. I silently cursed and wiped the surface with a small napkin. I finally looked up and a guy maybe in his late twenties. He was casually smiling.

''No, I don't mind, ''I said and started to look around. the bar was getting fuller by the minute. This guy could be a potential candidate but since he just scared the living daylights out of me  I don't think this would be a good idea. His entrance might have been a surprise but I sure as heck wouldn't be surprised when he turned out to be a total jackass in bed.  I generally don't care but I like politeness most of the time. This current situation was one of them. 

''So what's your name?'' The guy asked just as Graham put a giant pint of beer in front of him. Intersting, 

''Anna, '' the lie easily rolled off my tongue. I lived here and I knew if they ever came back and asked around for my number they would get nowhere. Not one of my smartest idea but I could quickly leave and be home in a matter of minutes but if someone decided to follow me home they wouldn't have to walk far. 

''Adam. Nice to meet you,'' he said with uncanny kindness in his voice. Waiting for a friend my ass. 

I just quietly stared at him. I couldn't just say 'nice to meet you too' no that would be too easy. 

''Well I'm not sure if it's nice to meet you too but for now, I guess you haven't given me any incentive to think otherwise,'' I took another sip of my club soda and made a weird face as I swallowed it. This is awful why would anyone drink this. 

''Wow and I thought you were quiet or shy. Are you always this loud?''he asked weirdly.

''Yes I am in fact always expressing my opinions. Too loud for you?'' I was acting quite rude as if I was looking for a fight but he just made me feel nervous and annoyed. Not in a good way. I'm sure he was a nice guy. He was just so ... He was attractive I guess. Blonde hair, blue eyes and all but I just didn't like it and I don't feel the need to justify why. 

''Oh you can't be too loud,'' he stated as if it was a fact.  Okay, that's it. I can't do it. I know he wasn't directly asking for sex but he just might as well be. I don't mind people being direct we just didn't click. And that's okay. I was sure I could find another guy in this bar if I wanted to, or in the one down the street but I suddenly felt drained.  

I pretended to check my phone and to my surprise, I have one notification but it was just an update notification. 

''I'm sorry but I have to. I hope your friend shows up soon, '' I say as I stand up. Its no use really but I guess it makes me feel like a better person. He opens his mouth to say something but when he sees the look in my eyes he stops. Good.

''Goodnight.''

''Goodnight,'' and with that, I walk out of the bar. 

I am quickly in my own world, thinking about custom made raincoats, when I suddenly crash into someone and fall back on my ass. 

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Did I even know what a comma was, two years ago? And tenses? 

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