Beware Of The Frat Boy [ n.h ]

Chapter 46

(( Hiiiii, stress is a piece of shitttt. Little reminder that if you don't want to get out of bed today that's okay, and if you want to cry in public that's okay, and if you got a bad mark on a test that's okay, and if for one day you want to let go of all your work and relax that's okay, because there is still so many places to visit, pictures to take, cities to get lost in and people to meet and you are only a little star in a big universe and you are doing so well xx )) 

songs; 

Phillip Phillips; Raging Fire

Gabrielle Aplin; Home

Chris Wallace; Remember When

Goo Goo Dolls; Iris

(There will be time jumps and flashbacks to things you haven't seen before, just to let you know..)

..

* Niall's point of view *

I doubled over, emptying the contents of my stomach into the toilet. This is what It's been like for a little over 2 months now. I go out, I get drunk, I puke everything up and the cycle starts again. I never fucking thought It would be me, sitting at the bar with an empty glass and a broken heart. I didn't think this would be so hard, I though I'd get drunk for a couple nights and then by the week after I'd be back to normal, The frat boy that thought he could get any girl, didn't care about anyone but himself and went out drinking every night. 

But I'm not that guy anymore. I fell for a girl, one of the greatest but worst things I'd ever done. But I'd go back and do it all again, the laughs, the cries, the fucks, the fuck-ups.. I wouldn't change a single thing. When I went back to Elana's dorm room to see if we could work things out, that's when it hit me the hardest, all her stuff was gone, the bed that used to hold her floral bed sheets was now plain, the only thing leaving any evidence of her existence being the faint scratching of our names in the wood of the bed when we were drunk one night. 

*flashback*

"Nialllll." She whined, kicking her heels off, one of them landing on my foot. I hissed as the heel hit my big toe. "Oh god, I'm sorry baby." She pouted, cupping my face with her hands and pulling my lips to hers. 

I placed my hands on her hips, pulling her closer than she already was. "I forgive youuu." I sing-songed, stumbling as I made my way over to the bed, pulling her on top of me. "I really fucking love you." I murmured, peppering her face with kisses. 

"I really fucking love you too." She whispered, resting her head on my chest, trailing patterns along my now bare chest ith her forefinger. 

I looked over to her bedside cabinet, where a bottle of water, her favourite book, (brownie points for anyone who can remember what her favourite book is, it's realllll easyy) a picture of her and her dad and a couple pencils. I sat up, lifting one of the pencils and shuffling to the end of the bed. "What're you doing?" She asked as I brought the tip of the pencil to the wood of her bed. "Niall I'll get in trouble." She huffed, trying to pry the pencil from my hands but I just laughed, carving our names into the wood with the pencil and draw a heart around them. 

"I'll love you for as long as this heart is around our names." I whispered, cupping her face and smacking my lips against hers. 

* end of flashback *

I fucking missed those nights, when we were drunk, fooling around in the dorm, trying to be quiet so we didn't wake anyone else, but that almost never happened. I severely fucked up with Elana, and I couldn't help but feel guilty for perhaps ruining her time at Arizona State. As Perrie had told me, she had dropped out and was maybe even thinking about taking a gap year and travelling. I couldn't let her go. I have to try harder this time, I have to make her forgive me. I have to get my girl back.