Relationship status: it's complicated

Chap 1 change

Emma's pov

Trembling, I slit my wrist again. I let out a slight cry of pain but I knew behind my grimace I was smiling because I enjoyed the pain. Each cut felt like I was almost there. To the place I dreamed of being the most. Heaven.

Well not like I'd end up there. Most likely hell for my actions, but I knew of other people who deserved to go to hell more than me.

For example, my family. I know that sounds harsh but not compared to what they do to me. You see my family consisted of 6 including me.

There's my dad the ridiculous alcoholic who did nothing but drink, smoke, and abuse me. If I didn't cover up as much you would see purple and black bruises running along my arms, legs, and back. Also some scars from the couple times he cut me. Which by the way is why I cut today. Yup, my dad is the reason I have a blade in my hand. Not only is he the worst who abuses me but when he cut me for the first time I felt pain underlined with satisfaction. After the third time, I wanted to actually do it to myself. So I found razors and started cutting and have been doing it for about a month.

Next, is my mom, the second whore of the house. My older sister (who's 18 and yes my twin Avery sadly) was of course the number one whore in the house and in school. Avery slept with different men every single day whereas my mom did it every week since she still had to stay loyal to my dad. Why you ask? Well, when my grandfather died a couple years ago my dad inherited a large amount of money. Grandpa was a famous singer back in the 70's and made a lot of money from it. He surprisingly died with still a large amount of money and had no brothers, wives, or other sons to give it to so he unfortunately had to give it to my dad. Which sadly my dad spent on alcohol and cigarettes. Not a penny goes to me cause apparently my school takes a large amount of his money already yet my brothers and twin got money whenever they wanted.

Speaking of my brothers, their names were Matt and michael. Matt is 20 and michael is 23. Matt was just like my sister and mom but called a man whore, player, or womanizer I guess. Michael however was different. Nope he wasn't the caring sweet brother he's supposed to be. He was actually like my dad except with drugs. What made it worse is that he would come home numerous times high or drunk and have random spurts of anger (due to anger issues) and abuse me to. Like father like son. Like mother like daughter. Ah, how those phrases played so well in my terrible family.

So yeah that's my "wonderful family" ladies and gents. A alcoholic dad, a whore mom, sister, and brother, and a druggie brother. Then there's me. The complete opposite of them.

I'm what people call the nerd. Shy, quiet, lame, boring, blah blah blah I have enough nicknames to fill a bible and that wasn't good. I had barely any friends to which made things worse. I did have a best friend freshman year till last year, Jr. year, but then she moved to New York. Far, far, far away from Cali. She was the only one who was there for me and tried her best to help. Even her family was there for me.

Now here I was, about to enter senior year in two days friendless. I never made any other friends other than Mia. Ya sure she had other friends but they weren't the type I'd hang with. To girly and giddy. Oh and slutty.

Looking up from the sink I was currently cutting myself in, I looked at my reflection. My green eyes filled with sadness, my shoulder length brown hair that fell limp in waves,, and my small petite body with my ribs sticking out. Starving myself is also another thing I sometimes did. Not that I had a choice. My fridge was usually empty and I didn't like to buy and eat fast food every day. I used to be a set 117 pounds with eating and working out with Mia everyday at her house but now I was limp and 105 pounds. Cheekbones were also now protruding from my flushed cheeks.

I sighed and thought I shouldn't be blaming this on Mia leaving, I should be taking care of myself. Then another random thought came to mind. I need a change. Like a complete makeover. I've thought of doing it before but never actually attempted it. But hey, it's senior year! I don't want to look like sad lonely Emma Ryder anymore. No. I wanted to change and it's about damn time to do so.

Cleaning the now dried blood from my wrists, I smiled at my cuts and made my way to my bedroom. Luckily I made it without encountering my dad. I did not want to be punched or kicked today. In fact maybe I should even take karate lessons? With thoughts of change fresh in my mind I drifted to sleep.

---- a/n -----

Hey guys so this is my first story so I hope you like it so far! It'll be full of romance and drama and stuff.

Also my punctuation and grammar isn't the best ok! Sorry nobody's perfect.

Please comment, like, and vote!!