Losing loved one to suicide feels so shitty. They decide to end their pain, but what they don't realise is that they will give that pain to someone else- to their parents, friends or siblings.
One day, that person decides to leave, maybe without telling anyone why. So you're left here thinking, how didn't I see the warning signs? How could I have missed it? Was it something i did? If I had done something in a different way, would they still be here?
You're left here not only with a grief but guilt. You will feel guilty for not saving them. You will feel guilty because you didn't realise how bad it was. I don't think it will ever get better. I will forever blame myself.
When you lose someone to suicide there will always be an empty place in your heart in where they used to be- it will never be full again. You might be able to continue your life and live normally but you will always be haunted by the lost of loved one. One day something good will happen- you will get married or have your first baby- you will think "I wish you were here to see this." You will forever look for their face in the sea of people never finding what you're looking for.
There is something about suicide that makes the grieving process so shitty... it makes you ask yourself so many questions that you will never know the answers.
You will always be haunted by the reason why they did it. Or by the fact that you don't know the reason.
All you can do is to hold yourself together, and try to tell yourself that it isn't your fault. And it isn't. It was their decision. They did it, and you can't blame yourself about it. What happened has already happened, you can't sadly change it. No matter how hard you try.
Try to remember all the good things about that person- all the happy memories with them. Don't get stuck on the way they died. Live your life on the fullest with a memory of them. Keep that memory alive and close to your heart. Don't ever let it go. ♡
YOU ARE READING
The falling silence
Poetry"When thinking about life, remember this: no amount of guilt can solve the past and no amount of anxiety can change the future" This book is a collection of my thoughts and poetry. In this book, I talk about anxiety, depression, bullying and grief.
