"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine"
But am I really? I don't really know.
I just can't bring myself to tell anyone about those thoughts I have, about those nights I spend crying without sound- so no one would know how I feel.
There are days that I feel too much, but then there are days that I don't feel anything. Those days I spend staring at wall feeling numb, even thought the world around me is falling down and nothing is right.
It just like... I'm scared about what would happen if I told someone about my feelings.
I know they would blame themselves.
My parents would be mad and blaming themselves- they would think about what they did wrong.
I once told my friends that I can't sleep or do school work because of how I feel- they said "you're not sad, you're lazy"
I wanna tell someone about how I feel, but I don't wanna bring them down with me.
I don't wanna bother others, or make them sad just because I'm sad. And mostly I don't wanna be judged.
I don't wanna get sympathy. I need someone to bring me comfort and love.
I don't wanna hear people telling me:
"Cheer up"
"It's not that hard to be happy, just smile!"
"Everything is okay, just relax"
"Everything is fine. You have everything you need, you don't have right to feel like that. "
Do you think that it is that easy to be happy? Because it's not. If it was, I wouldn't feel like this.
Telling those things don't help.
To anybody reading this, I hope and pray that the thing hurting/ or whatever you're constantly stressing about, gets better. You're amazing, beautiful and special person. You are loved- even if it's just by me. Please don't give up❤
"I feel like what screws us up most as a teenager is the picture in our head of how life was supposed to be, like perfect , friendships , relationships & when it does not turn out that way... you blame yourself, like you have done it wrong."
"Your kids mental health is more important than their grades."
YOU ARE READING
The falling silence
شِعر"When thinking about life, remember this: no amount of guilt can solve the past and no amount of anxiety can change the future" This book is a collection of my thoughts and poetry. In this book, I talk about anxiety, depression, bullying and grief.
