He understood me.
Probably better than I understood myself, if I'm honest. He had a way of knowing my mind, my ideas. Every step I made. He knew me.
It unnerved me. Knowing he was two steps ahead. And I had to get out. I needed to be freed even if that meant shedding my wings and becoming the one thing I dreaded the most. Human.
"The boss wants to see you," Clint said, poking his head inside my chamber and I sighed heavily. I expected that. "Tell him I'm busy," I muttered, lacing up my boots. I slipped the Angel blade inside the sheath and looked up to find him still standing there.
"You know he won't let this go...," he sighed and I closed my eyes.
Oh, I knew.
Giving in, I made my way. The heels clicking on the hard floor, I pushed the large ornate doors open, finding him at his desk, arms tucked behind his head, feet propped up. He knew already, I could see it in his eyes.
"Narolin...," he hummed and I scoffed. He knew I despised the name. "Going topside?," he asked casually and I sighed, rubbing my eyes. "You know I am. So why even ask me, James?"
He chuckled low, leaning forward. His eyes trailed over me unashamed and it burned. "Come here...," he purred, patting his thigh and I shook my head. I couldn't give in. Not again. No, I had to keep my head.
"I'm not asking, Chaos."
His tone had changed. It was cold, dark. But it didn't sway me.
"You best remember who saved you from that cage, Angel of mine. You need to remember it was me who brought you here. Gave you back your wings. Made you strong again."
I hated that he was right.
"I didn't ask you to," I retorted, holding my ground. "You should have left me to rot. Left me in that damned place."
"Your body tells a different story, Narolin. Your body will always betray your mind. You want to leave here, re-capture your freedom...,"
"But you were never free, my Love."
My blood boiled. My fists were clenched. I was angry. Angrier than I ever remembered and he simply laughed at me. "Oh so terrifying, Sweetheart. You won't do a damn thing to me. You're indebted."
"And you'll never leave me. Do you know why, Angel Mine? Do you know why you'll never run? Why you'll never stay away for good? Why you'll never give it all up, Narolin?"
"Because you need me."
I'd heard enough. Right or not, I was done. Done being controlled by him. Done doing his bidding.
"Take my wings. It doesn't matter," I told him. "You can set me free or you can watch me walk away. Either way, I'm gone, James. I've had enough of you."
He chuckled darkly and sat forward. "Run along then, Chaos. We'll take bets on how long before you're begging to come home. You won't last out there being human. You can't. This is all you know, Love. Being an Angel of Chaos. This is all you have."
"This is who you are."
I stood stoic, letting him finish. Letting him have his say. But I was more than determined to prove him wrong. To show him I no longer needed him. That I'd never needed him.
I didn't want to belong to Heaven or Hell. To God or the Demon. I wanted to belong to me. To be human, to feel something. To feel absolutely free for the first time, not tied to anyone or anything.
I gave him one last look and turned on my heel.
"You'll be back, Chaos," he said softly, my hand on the door. "You need to be controlled. You need structure. You need a firm hand. You belong in Hell. Here with me. This is what you are."
I turned, meeting his eye.
"I belong to no one. Especially not you. I owe you nothing, James. You freed me only to enslave me. Led me to believe I was free. You used me."
He swallowed, his face faltering just a bit. A slight crack in the flawless exterior. I'd never seen it before and I wondered briefly what was really, truly underneath. What he really thought.
"Farewell then, Narolin," he smiled, returning to the position I'd found him in. "I'll be seeing you again."
I laughed and closed the door behind me, determined to get out as soon as I could. I'd planned it out. I knew where to do, where to hide. Hoping that he'd never find me. Praying he'd simply let me go.
Of course, I was wrong.
