I needed to run. So I did.
I knew he wouldn't stop me, but I knew he'd also keep a close eye on me. That he'd make it nearly impossible for me to just disappear. But I was willing to try.
I'd been locked away for so long, I forgot how it felt. Spreading my wings, so to speak. Free of restraints. Free of someone holding me back. To be alone, making my own decisions without consequence.
But I couldn't help but look over my shoulder.
Everywhere I went, I was admittedly paranoid. I felt eyes on me. Felt like I was being followed. Strangers unnerved me. I feared he'd find me and take me home. Make me go home.
Part of me was indebted to him. As much as I hated it. He did free me from my Heavenly prison. He did give me a new life, made me powerful again, and that's what I'd craved.
Going from the top to the very bottom was a blow to my ego. And James pulled me from the darkness. He made me feel alive again in more ways than I'm comfortable admitting. But Hell was ultimately worse than Heaven.
And I'd had enough.
Finding Lela's had been a relief. A bar, hidden only to supernatural beings. It was like a beacon in the darkness. A safe haven for creatures like me. Angels, demons. And everything in between. They all gathered there.
Lela was good to me. She knew what I was and she never batted a lash. She understood my predicament. She gave me a job, a place to sleep. She saved me from myself and now I had another to be indebted to. Story of my life.
I washed out a glass and filled it with a dark amber liquid, passing it across the bar. He smiled at me, taking it slowly and sipping it. Another demon, that I was sure of. And I briefly wondered if James had sent him.
He said he'd fallen, given up the life he'd known. That he'd come topside and fell in love with a human. Such a cardinal sin. He chuckled at the memory, wondering how he could have been so reckless.
She'd seen him for what he was and ran in terror, demanding he never contact her again. He thought if he fell, became human, she'd see and love him again. Instead, he'd given up what he was for nothing.
I felt his pain, the ache in his chest. He couldn't reclaim what he'd been unless he died, and he knew that the King of Hell would never give it to him. He'd betrayed him, betrayed what he was. That was something I understood.
"Thanks, Naro," he nodded, sitting the now empty glass back on the bar and I smiled, refilling it. He held up a hand, but I shook my head. "This one's on me, Steve. You've earned it."
He thanked me again, downing it in one shot. He was a broken man and it stirred something inside me. Something I'd never felt before. I supposed I really was becoming human.
"Will you go back?," he asked curiously and I sighed, shaking my head. "Not willingly," I said honestly and he hummed in agreement. "But he was right. I'm tied to him whether I like it or not. He'll find me. Find some loophole. Force me back."
"Shed your wings then, Chaos. And he won't have any right to take you back."
He was right, I knew that. But I hadn't been ready. And I wondered if I ever truly would be. I'd lost them once, the idea of losing them again scared me. Like I'd be losing a part of me, what made me me.
"You're afraid," he said softly and I nodded, cleaning out the glass. "You let him have so much control over you. You're the damn Angel of Chaos. You were stronger, more powerful than him. Hell, Archangels bowed at your feet."
I hated that he was right. It drove me insane.
"Yet Heaven couldn't handle me. They locked me up. Took my power. Said that I was too powerful and I shouldn't be."
He frowned a bit. "Sounds like a bunch of jealous angels. They should have worshipped you, Narolin. They should have made you a god. And you know it."
I swallowed. It made my heart ache, his words.
"And the King should have treated you just so. Like the goddess that you are. Instead he enslaved you, letting you believe you were free. Yet, he needed you."
I froze, eyes wide. What did he say?
"Are you surprised?," he asked, chuckling. "It's not like he would have admitted it out loud, but it was clear, Naro. He needed you. He hung on every word. He valued your opinion on things. But he's not a sympathetic creature, is he? He doesn't know what love is.
Love. What in the hell did that have to do with anything?
It was like he could read my mind.
"Why do you think he really saved you from that prison? He broke into Heaven to get you. He'd watched you for centuries. Told others he found you beautiful, enchanting. He was struck by you, Chaos. He wanted you for himself. I think he saw you ruling beside him."
"Unfortunately, his ego won over."
I was trying to process what he was telling me. It couldn't have been true. He couldn't possibly love me. He wasn't capable of that, not the King of Hell. A wretched demon. Dark, evil. What could he know of love?
But now my mind warred with itself. I tried to push Steve's words to the back of my mind. To focus on what I planned to do. I knew it was a matter of time before he found me. That he'd find some way to take me home, back to Hell.
I needed to rid myself of these damn wings.
