I walked into our hotel room. As I shut the door behind me I kicked off my shoes and walked to the bathroom.
How could he? How does someone do that?
I took off my dress and started the bath.
Who does he think he is? Teliing my mom that I am or that I was a prostitute. Is this the whole reason we came to Texas? So that he could hurt me one more time? I swear all he wants to do is make me unhappy. I think it makes him happy to cause me misery. Why the hell didn't he warn me that she knew? He let me drive his car to the coffee shop knowing she knew and he didn't say shit.
I turned off the water and slid into the bath tub.
I let him in, again. Only to get hurt. I made love to him. He let me go there, just to hurt me. How could he make love to me then talk shit to my mom. He's low. That's low, but I love him so much. He makes me want to scream because he makes me hate him when he knows I love him so damn much. I want to kill him but at the same time I can't imagine going to sleep without his arms around me. He makes my love for him so bipolar.
"Bey?"
I closed my eyes and tried to relax.
"Bey.." He said again.
I didn't say anything I just laid back and tried to relax. I am so pissed, I don't want to say anything that I'll regret.
"Y'know what, fuck it." He said then walked out and slammed the door.
"Yeah, you're right. Fuck it." I said barley above a wispher.
After about an hour I decided to get out because the water was starting to get cooler. I wrapped my hair in a towel then did the same thing to my body.
I walked out of the bathroom. Shawn was laying on the bed watching tv.
"How's your mom?"
I rolled my eyes then ignored his question.
I picked up my suitcase from the floor and picked out a pair of underwear and my silk night gown. I turned so my back was faced to him and let go of my towel.
"Y'knoow, it's not like I haven't seen your body before."
I just ignored him and slid my clothes on.
I walked into the bathroom and grabbed my silk robe that matches my night gown.
I walked back into the room and slid on my brown sandals.
"Where are you going?" Shawn asked.
I rolled my eyes, "Does it matter?"
"What's your problem?"
I ignored him and continued to brush my hair.
"Beyonce, what is your problem?"
I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths.
Did he not think that I'd find out? Does he just expect me to let it go, like it's not a big deal?
Hell no. It's a huge fucking deal. Not just him telling my mom that, but that everytime I'm happy he has to find some way to ruin it.
"Bey talk to me. Whatever it is, we can fix it. You just have to talk to me."
I huffed, "You've already done enough talking, Shawn." I said putting emphasis on talking.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
I rolled my eyes. Like you don't know dumbass.
I walked closer to the door then I felt Shawn's hand grab my wrist.
"What is that supposed to mean?" He asked pulling me so we were facing eachother.
"If you don't know, then it doesn't matter."
"So where are you going?" He asked.
"That doesn't matter either."
"Dammit!" He yelled punching the door behind me.
"Yes it does matter. You and I- we matter. Our relationship matters and you not talking to me is ruining it. You do this without any explanation then you expect me to let you leave, looking like this, when I know what you used to do back on the streets."
When he said that I started boiling. I'd say steam was coming out of my ears.
"Earth to mother fucking dumbass, I was just going to get a drink so I would be able to have a civil conversation. But fuck that! The problem is you! It's always you. You are ruining us. Your big ass mouth is always ruining everything. Dammit, you know I love you. I would go to the end of the earth to help you but you do everything in your power to hurt me. Why would you tell my mom that I am a prostitute? Why? Who does that? Do you hate me? Tell me Shawn." I said raising my voice.
I pushed him away and walked back into our room.
"I don't fucking hate you Beyonce, I love you. You know that! Quit acting like a dumb bitch?"
I spun around on my heels, "Dumb bitch? Fuck you!"
"You would, you;d fuck anything."
"Oh here we go again with that bull shit. YES, SHAWN. YES, I WAS A PROSTITUTE. I WAS FOR SIX YEARS. WE HAVE ESTABLISHED THAT! ARE YOU GOING TO BRING THAT UP EVERYTIME WE FIGHT? i SHOULD START BRINGING UP YOUR PAST TOO." I screamed.
"Lower your voice."
"Don't fucking tell me what to do."
He shook his head and just stared at me.
"You know what?" He started.
"Hm?"
"Maybe we aren't so good for eachother after all."
"Maybe we aren't."
He stared at me for a second then he rubbed his face.
"I told your mom because she asked me where you were and what you were doing. She is your mother. She deserved to know. I know that hurt you but I am not sorry. You left us, all of us. Without any explanation, you up and left. Don't give me the "You were with Halie" bullshit because we both know I'd leave any girl no matter who it is, for you."
"You hurt me." I said as tears filled my eyes.
"And that's why we aren't good for each other."
"So what does this mean?"
"I'm going to get my own room."
"Then what?"
"Then we'll go from there."
UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE...HEY GUYS :) I didn't have volleyball practice today like I thought I would, so I updated. What do y'all think about Bey and Shawn? Drama, drama, drama. Comment and let me know if you think they should be together or not. Thank y'all so much. Love you guys :) Comment & Vote (:
YOU ARE READING
Is this love?
Random"I love you", you said, and I waited for "but..." but instead came your arms and a "No matter what."