I was so foolish to completely ignore the immediate red flags, ignored the first real signs of abuse, I should have stayed gone the first time I left, I should have stayed gone the second time I left, I should have stayed gone the third time I left.
This girl, has taken everything from me. She has manipulated me, bit me, hit me, punched me, slapped me, and worst of all has broken all of my belongings in fits of rage. Her parents has had to call the police 3 times, and each time I lied through my teeth to protect her.
Her insecurity and insanity caused her to see every single one of my actions as something completely against her. I could never have more than 5 min to relax. If I wasn't paying attention to her constantly she would cry, get upset, argue, etc.
She financially drained me, manipulated me into quitting jobs, moving out of places we stayed together.
This manipulation was awful, threats to ruin my life, threats to kill herself, threats to hurt me, threats to make up false things about me to police, her parents, etc.
She would lock me in the basement of her parents house where we eventually ended up staying after being completely financially drained, and take away the internet so I had no way of contacting anyone. (Did not have phone service cause that broke.)
She has broken audio equipment, a new 55 in 4k tv, a computer monitor, a receiver for my sound system, a Google home speaker, various parts of my car (visor, cup holder, knobs, etc,) ripped up a parking ticket I had received, my heart, my feelings, my mind, and various friendships.
After being attacked, I did not hit her back. I don't like that everyone in my life says I should have physically harmed her in return. I don't believe that fighting abuse with more abuse is ever the answer.
She was either extremely loving, or extremely hateful and spiteful. The way I grew up we didn't show much affection to one another, not because we didn't love each other, but because we all knew that we cared for each other. We showed it instead of feeling the need to tell each other all the time. The first ever relationship I was in and the only relationship I was in was when I was 14 I was catfished for 3 years online by a total psychopath. I eventually ended up in the same city as her by complete chance and she only fucked with me more in person before she eventually fell off the face of the planet. I never got complete closure as when I looked her up on Facebook many years later she just told me that I was too edgy and blocked me.
So naturally when the "honeymoon" phase of the relationship was over with my current girlfriend (now ex.) I reverted back to just being generally neutral, but sweet and thoughtful at times. I believe that she was overly affectionate constantly and would break down and cry when I didn't show the same extreme levels of affection.
We would constantly fight, at first the fights were two sided and we would both argue, but there was really no arguing with her cause if she got mad enough during the fights she would go absolutely insane and start hurting herself. Eventually our constant fights just turned into her constantly freaking out with me trying to just calm the situation.
There was always something wrong with her, always complaining about something. Always accusing me of cheating or watching porn. Made me delete all the girls on facebook, insta, etc.
This was not like me at all, I am usually dominant, confident, and I always stand up for myself. She really sucked me into this and over time became increasingly abusive and restricting. She always found a way to make all of her problems my fault. She had me convinced and isolated to the point where I lost all my self confidence and just thought I was a worthless pile of shit.
Where do I go from here?
