Author-sama shows Kaoru his phone and the two end up rolling on the floor, holding their shaking sides as they laugh uncontrollably.
Hikaru: What are you guys laughing about?
Author-sama: I was curious, so I looked up Hikaru × Haruhi lemons,
Hikaru: WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT?
Haruhi: Why are you questioning anything he does at this point?
Author-sama: And as I was scrolling through the results I found this.
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Hikaru: *blushes redder than Kasanoda's hair* I-isn't that the book you're writing?
Haruhi: You mean the book where he documents our reactions to certain pairings involving us and people we know?
Kyoya: Yes, that would be the same one. And why did you put Renge on the cover?
Author-sama: Well, there are only seven of you and it bugged me, but technically Renge is a part of the Host Club. She's just not a Host. Therefore I could put eight members on the cover instead of seven and eight is a far more symmetrical number.
Renge: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Tamaki: She is a self inducted member and therefore unofficial!
Honey: But she still helps us out!
Kyoya: Now I can't help but wonder why the author was looking up lemons... *evil aura surrounding him*
Author-sama: I was honestly curious to see how many there would be. Before this book started, I though the I was alone with my Hikaharu shipping. (Aside from Kaoru, of course.)
Haruhi: You could have just looked up Hikaru × Haruhi. You didn't have to type lemon.
Author-sama: Don't worry. I wasn't jacking off to you and Hikaru.
Tamaki: Momma! The author is using dirty boy words again!
Author-sama: I am a very casual lemon reader. I once read about three or four ×Reader lemons while in class. The funny part about that was that I was in health class.
Hikaru: We didn't need to know that, Author.
Author-sama: I honestly read some of them to see if there are any good ones. Like, detailed and realistic. Unfortunately, there aren't many of those. In most of them, Haruhi is super submissive and it's really cringey to read.
Tamaki: THEN WHY DO YOU READ THEM?
Author-sama: Same reason I still watch D*sney Channel shows. They are so stupid that it's funny! (No offense to people who really like D*sney Channel)
Kaoru: You really don't read any of them for pleasure?
Author-sama: What do you mean 'any of them'? How many do you think I read?
Kaoru: I've seen your Wattpad Library. I even saw a few Kaoru X Reader ones.
Author-sama: *jumps out the nearest window and lands in bushes* YOU DON'T KNOW!
Honey: Is he okay?
Mori: Yes.
Renge: The tables have turned against our beloved Author-sama! What will happen next? Find out in the next chapter of The Hosts React to Ships!
Kyoya: Or not. The author is very good at avoiding his own problems by matchmaking us.
