My Mate's Joy

Chapter: Twenty Six

Chapter Twenty Six: Patrols
Vale

That night on Patrols I couldn't help but let my thoughts wonder.

And with my wondering thoughts My wolf actually ended up running back to Jessa's house like it had the night before she left...it had been two weeks since I had seen her.

My wolf let out an audible whine.

'Fates chose our life for us...we just have to live it now.' I thought.

He took a step forward closer to her house, indicating even my wolf wanted me to acknowledge Jessa. And for the first time it actually took a bit of effort to get him to submit and let me shift back.

Naked and confused I walked over to her back porch and took a seat on her steps.

"I get it...Wex was right...and I think I've known it for awhile...I mean how can I not be in love with her?" I said to myself...My words getting lifted away in the wind. "Jessa is the perfect girl...everything that I'd want in a significant other, and even more so a Luna for the pack...plus everyone suggesting we were more than just friends sorta always made me see her as more than just a regular friend of mine."

'We need her.'

I nodded, "We do, probably as will."

'Hurts that we can't be with her.'

"And what about Shelby...this isn't fair to her." I said thinking about the mate I'd brought here.

'Not fair for Jessa.'

I knew my wolf was right and I couldn't help but rest my head in my hands now, "I don't know what we're going to do...I love her, and yet I can't have her."

My wolf whined.

"We have to give our mate a chance...for the good of ourselves and the pack."

'Jessa could move on...she loves us too.'

"We don't know that she feels the same."

My wolf pushed images of Jessa leaving that day into the forefront of my mind... she was heartbroken.

'She didn't want to leave us...we didn't want her to leave us.'

I wanted to cry, but what would that solve?

I sat there thinking of all the times I got to spend with Jessa, our awkward moments sharing a hotel room, watching her play with my nieces and nephews, dancing with her at the sock hop in her cute pink ladies outfit...how adorable she looked in her ridiculously oversized sunglasses,how her head always lays next to my heart when I hug her...-

"Alpha..."

I looked up and saw one of my guardsmen.

"This area's been cleared for the evening, should we head over to the east part of town now?"

"Oh...yeah, leave two guards here to keep an eye out just in case." I said before I shifted back into my wolf.

Here or not I wouldn't risk rogues coming anywhere near Jessa and by extension her home.

"Yes Alpha."

_____

When Saturday finally arrived I was experiencing some newer emotions.

My wolf was excited just knowing Jessa was at my brothers pack...part of me (a big part of me) wanted to go over there knowing she was there helping Ash with his finances.

I had to reign in my wolf and remind myself that I had someone here for me...and I had decided that for our Mate and the good of the pack I would need to push my feelings for Jessa to the side, and for Jessa I knew I need to set clear boundaries between us...something that Jessa tried to explain to me before she left, but I was too naïve too catch the drift or too stubborn to acknowledge my true feelings for her.

I left my office and went upstairs to find Shelby just waking up from a nap.

"Hey." She sounded sweetly.

I smiled, even though my feelings for Jessa were stronger than I first realized...just being near Shelby had a certain pull on me and made me feel comfortable and content...something about being with her felt right. "I was about to go grab some lunch...thought maybe you'd want to join?"

"Oh...I could eat." She agreed.

"Great I'll meet you at the car."

She nodded and I left her alone to get freshened up. But after about six minutes waiting for her I was getting a little worried. I went back in to find her barely coming down the stairs.

"Sorry, figured I would get a little more dressed up since we're going out." She announced.

"Well you look very pretty." I said before taking her hand and leading us out of my house before I opened the passenger side door for her and helped her into the car.

It was kind of weird really, back at her old pack when it was just her and I we were seamless as mates...second nature even.

Conversations came easy, forms of affection just happened and intimacy...well, not exactly having had sex with her yet I can't really speak on that front.

But it did make me wonder now.

We had every opportunity back at Shelby's place to take our relationship as far as we wanted, that included sex...and yet it never got to that point.

Don't get me wrong, we made out to the point of clothes coming off and very real close encounters of markings...but we sorta just stopped before sex actually happened.

And here in my pack, I now feel like I'm forcing everything...even now as I get myself into the car I buckled up and look over at her, she smiles at me and I wonder if I should grab her hand?

Instead I start up the car and drive off, unable to look at her in fear she'll see my strained attempts and take it personally.

"So..." I sounded, trying to kill the silence growing between us. "I figured we could grab some burgers...-"

"Burgers?" she asked.

I could pick-up she may not be in the mood for burgers."Unless you want something else?" I asked unsure now.

Not to get into the habit of comparing the two, but when Jessa and I eat out she usually just rolls with the punches, kinda down to eat wherever so long as there's food...unless she's really craving something in which case she's quick to tell me what it is that she wants to eat.

"Uh well how about barbecue?"

She wrinkled her nose a little, "I mean I like barbecue."

"But you're not really feeling it." I finished for her.

"Not exactly dressed for it either." She pointed out lightly.

"I get it... how about Sushi?"

She smiled and I knew we had a winner.

"I love sushi...but can't with the baby."

"Oh I didn't even think about that...I'm sorry."

She shrugged cooly, "No worries... I'm kinda in the mood for a salad...anywhere that serves up a good salad."

"The words good and salad don't belong in the same sentence." I teased.

In the end we went to an italian spot the twins use to love.

Not one for a eating a ton of Veggies I opted on a lasagna dish. "Sorry I haven't been much of a great mate so far." I said feeling more guilty than ever.

"Hey you're an Alpha first right?" She smiled..."we'll have time to get to know one another better and become more affectionate, and go from there with time." She said before placing her hand upon my own.

I felt the warm currents and together we finished eating in a comfortable silence.

I knew from here on out I really did need to make more of an effort to show Shelby more attention and be the mate she deserves.