Inevitable || Krii7y

Chapter 4

John's p.o.v-

My mind was truly one big mess at that moment.

We were continuing to make dinner in silence. I could only think of what just had happened. I mean, this morning when I woke up, I thought I was straight and still ended up with my tongue deep in my best friends mouth.

For a short moment I started wondering, if I done the right thing when I asked him to be mine. I didn't know why I blurted out something like that. I mean, asking your best friend to be your boyfriend was one thing, but was it too soon? I really didn't think that one through.

It was just pure instinct, like kissing him had been. Something I really didn't even think about doing, but still did it.

I took a short glimpse of him, he was standing next to the stove. His back turned at me, the truth was I could not answer my own question. My weak heart was beating stronger, when I was with him. And I meant that both literally and metaphorically.

I put down the knife I was using to chop the salad and took a few steps towards him, leaning against the counter next to the stove. Jaren didn't look at me, but there was the smallest smile on his lips.

"I hope this doesn't change anything between us," I told him quietly. "Well, expect the part where I get to kiss you.."

Jaren chuckled, while adding some spices to the minced meat he was frying on the pan.

"I still don't know how you did it," I muttered, giving him a smile to reassure him that I wasn't having any second thoughts. My eyes started wondering on his body.

The truth be told, I had never really been attracted to his body because I never really looked at it. But now, I couldn't keep my eyes off of his body. Especially that ass of his, it was getting more fine as he started eating healthier.

Jaren didn't say anything, and I forgot myself in my thoughts. In another words I was staring at his ass. I was young teen, so I couldn't help it. That ass would someday be mine, and I was now the only one who had the right to claim it.

Speaking of claiming his body..

"I hope you do believe me, when I said I will never do anything against your will, I will never hurt you." I said reinsuring him.

"I know you don't want to hurt me," He said still not looking at me.

I took a closer look of his face, there was that little hint of fear and pain that I hated to see in his eyes. It was always there, even when he laughed loudly, that look returned to his eyes the second his laughter faded away.

When he turned to look at me, I lifted my hand to touch his cheek. Knowing perfectly well that he would flinch, and I was right.

"You don't trust me," I stated with a whisper.

He just gave me a sad smile, before he turned to grab a bowl from the shelf next to him.

He was so timid, like some exotic little wild cat, badly hurt and caged. He was eager to keep his distance from me, and I started to wonder again, if I had done the right thing when I kissed him.

"You're being awfully quiet, it's making me nervous"

"I just can't believe this actually happened," he said, turning to face me.

"You mean us?" I asked and he nodded shortly. "Why, I knew you liked me before but told me you didn't anymore."

Jaren shrugged and blushed slightly, "it was a lie?"

"You didn't have to lie to me J." I said looking at him.

Be slightly laughed sarcastically "To a guy who wasn't gay? And someone who told me they were going to die soon, I didn't want to ruin what time I had left with you over my feelings."