Different kind of best friend (Phan)

Six

A/N I'm giving up with chapter names because I never know what to call them. Also sorry it's been so long! I had crappy school things to do😒 I'm eating cereal whist writing this, just thought I'd let you know that little fact😂

DANS POV

I woke up to Phil hugging me and some food near the bed, I didn't want to wake him so I just laid there embracing his hug. I love Phil's hugs more than anything in the world. They make me so happy and I literally smile a little whenever he hugs me. He makes me feel special like he actually cares about me. I don't know why he would though, I'm fucked up and a mess. I don't deserve his love! I don't deserve my life! I'm crying, silently not to wake Phil up but I keep shivering, I'm not wearing a top and I have purple hickeys all over my body, I just hope whoever brought the food didn't care.

Phil started to stir in his sleep, I hope it wasn't from me, I don't want to wake him up. I feel mean but I am shivering quite violently now. I laid back down in bed and turned to face Phil, he was so quiet and peaceful. He doesn't deserve me, he deserves someone better who doesn't keep ending up in hospital I mean for fuck sake this must be so stressful for him! Ugh, why am I such a fuck up? I scrunch my face up and hope there is no trace of tears on it.

Phil opens his eyes, there beautiful and so blue. You could swim in those eyes. I wish I had his eyes, mine are awful and brown, they look like mud. Phil didn't have a shirt on either, his body was beautiful and skinny, unlike mine, mine was fat and gross, I needed a shirt. I'm still shivering, were both covered in hickeys so I think it's best if we both put on a shirt before... I got cut off by the door opening. It was a nurse, she smiled at us.

"Do you want that or should I take it?" She pointed towards the tray of food, I obviously didn't want it because I'm fat and don't deserve food but Phil could have some if he wanted. I looked at Phil as if to tell him to answer "No I think we're okay thanks." Phil said, he should eat though, I know he's naturally skinny but seriously it looks like he doesn't eat. I wish I had his body, he's perfect.

A/N OH MY GOD I JUST DROPPED MY CEREAL DOWN THE SIDE OF MY BED WHICH IS LITERALLY THE TINNIEST GAP IN THE WORLD! FML-.- and I can't tell my parents because it's like half four in the after non and they'll be like "why tf are you eating cereal at this time Rhianon!?" And I can't be bothered with them rn-.- sorry but I'm taking a break to fix this problem! The break took longer then I expected but yeah....

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We returned home and Phil wondered off to get a shower so I just sat on the sofa and waited for him to come back. I know it's sad and I don't have a life but I really don't want one unless I'm with Phil 24/7 and I know that will never happen, I just want to be with him all the time and for him to never leave me because I'm scared to be alone, what if something bad happens, what if I do something bad again, I'm a bad person why is he even with me? I guess I had gotten so lost in my thoughts I didn't realise I was hyperventilating and had tears all down my face or that Phil had now walked back into the room and was trying to get me to calm down.

I always mess everything up. I don't mean to. I swear Phil can read minds because the next thing that came out of his mouth made me cry even harder "Dan, I know that you're thinking you've messed everything up but honestly you haven't. Please believe me. You're beautiful and I love you." He kissed me on the head and looked into my eyes, I pulled him towards me and kissed him. The kiss grew deeper and deeper, we pulled apart for a brief second just to get air before we went back to sucking each others faces, we we're needy. We took it to the bed room.

I don't know how but he makes me forget everything just from his touch. I love him so much.

A/N SORRY ITS A SHORT CHAPTER BUT YOU CAN GUESS WHAT WILL BE NEXT😉 PLEASE DONT KILL ME!