Melancholy Blues

I just needed to find a place to be. A public place. I couldn't do it alone. Maybe I had made a mistake? He will be so upset if he finds me. It's already too late. I'm walking through the city at almost midnight trying to figure myself out. My glasses are..not with me. I have my purse though,..wallet? ...yes, I have it. Let's figure something out for the meantime. Just to pass the time until it happens. My head was already starting to spin. I just kept walking I eventually seemed to see a large group of people exiting a building with very bright lights, all seeming very excited. I figured staying in a crowd would be a good idea, so I tried my best to catch up with them and blend in. I kept on with them for a block or two and passed a building where people started to funnel into the doorway. There was a doorman and I politely asked where I was and why is everyone going in. He kept a straight face seemingly noticing that I was lost and said "honey it's just a bar, are you old enough to get in?" I gave a little nod and reached for my purse, I pulled my wallet out and showed him my ID. He looked it over really quick and said "go on in". I quietly said thank you and slowly walked inside.

It was dark, slightly illuminated with blue and red lights shining off of a disco ball. The music being played was coming from a neon jukebox in the corner with a long line behind it. The line was mostly young people that came from the group I followed in. I felt the room start to spin. I held out my arms and felt the back of a leather chair hit my hand. I looked over and saw no one was sitting in it. I stumbled around it and stepped up onto the railing that the chair had connecting the legs and got into the chair. It swiveled and I gently spun left to right while holding onto the bar. The bar tender took this as me being impatient and quickly walked up to help. "Hello miss, what will you have?" He said. I reached into my wallet that I still had in my left hand and pulled all of my money out of it and put it into the tenders hand. "Just vodka with ice and grenadine" I told him with a shrug..."keep them coming until the money runs out" he looked at me with a grimaced face at my unusual order. "Okay,coming right up" and he walked off for a few minutes. All I could hear was everyone talking over everyone else. Annoyed I just looked down at the bar and waited. "Here you go miss" the bar tender set down my glass in front of me with a napkin under it. "Thank you" I said not making eye contact grabbing the glass and gulping it down Immediately. "Another ?" I asked, holding the glass up towards him. He looked at me for a moment and then came back with two filled glasses this time with tiny straws in them.

I sip my drink through the straw as fast as I can when I get a tap on the shoulder. It's a man with dark long hair but I still can't see his face. I'm so blind without my glasses let alone in this dark bar. He exclaims " Christ! You sure can drink! Maybe take a breath in between sips?" And he chuckles. He has such a warm accent to his voice. Poor soul. He was just trying to make conversation but all he got out of me was me looking down trying to avoid any eye contact. I'm just not in the mood. "Yeah,...it's been...quite a night" I say shrugging. And I go back to facing forward. I finish my second drink and set it down forcefully gasping as the alcohol burned the back of my throat. My face was starting to feel warm and my body relaxed. I pick up my third glass and I sit there listening to the music being absorbed now by the atmosphere and a beautiful piano melody comes on.

"Another party is over
And I'm left cold sober
Baby left me for somebody new
I don't wanna talk about it
Want to forget about it
Wanna be intoxicated with that special brew
So come and get meeeee"

I put my face into my hards and I can feel the tears welling up as the lyrics rip into my chest. I feel the touch on my shoulder again. "Hey now, are you alright?" He asks quickly.
"I-I don't feel well" I stumble out of the chair and run to a hallway I saw earlier finding the bathroom. I quickly run into a stall and proceeded to start vomiting uncontrollably. I sat on the floor crying into my hands occasionally stopping to throw up again. When I open my eyes everything is spinning, blurred and starting to get very dark. I lean my back against the stall wall while sitting on the floor. "This is it" I mumble. With my eyes closed. My body feeling warm and fuzzy from my drinks.

"Er-um hello? Miss? Helloooo?" The only thing I could hear was the same mans voice. His voice cut through the spinning and lightheadedness and it was all I could hear. I open my eyes and I see a head poking in from underneath the stall door. "Oh god!" He yelled and crawled under the door and crouched in front of me grabbing my face and holding it with both of his hands. He moved my curly black hair from in front of my face and felt my forehead " poor dear, are you alr-" his voice cut off. He turns to the toilet and sees where I have gotten sick. There is such a long pause. Well it felt long anyways. So long that I feel myself drifting to sleep. "What the hell is going on?!" He screams. Amongst all of my drink that I threw up he sees dozens of half dissolved pills. I feel the warmth slowly caressing me as his voice starts to slowly fade out.

I feel cold water splashing on my face and I wake up. I immediately start throwing up again but now there is a waste bin in front of me. I hold it tightly as I gasp for air in between heaving for my life. I feel two fingers shoved into my mouth and I continue to be sick. I am handed a glass of water and I hastily drink it. "There you go darling, drink up" the same voice same to me. I can see that he's crouched in front of me still but now the stall door is open. The voice is so warm. It instantly gives me goosebumps as soon as I hear it. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asks soothingly as he hands me a towel to dry my face off. "I don't know what you mean" I scoff. "Well all of those pills that came spouting out of you definitely tell me that you might need some help". I feel my face starting to radiate heat as I feel the humiliation sweep over me. "I...I just needed it to stop..all of it..I felt that was the only way to escape him." I begin to cry again. He brings his face closer to mine and I can finally see him. The most gorgeous deep dark brown eyes I've ever seen. But his brows were furrowed. He stands up and grabs my wrists and pulls me up with him. "Come on now love, we can talk about this elsewhere" he pulls me out of the stall" I pull my hand back" what are you even doing in here?!" I say with a snappy tone. "Why did you follow me in?!".."well I could clearly see something was upsetting you while I was waiting to order my drink. And then you just up and ran into the men's restroom! Honestly what are YOU doing in HERE?!" I cover my face with embarrassment. "I-I can't see. I don't have my glasses. I had to leave in such a hurry I didn't have time to pick them up"   He walked back up to me and grabbed both of my hands "let's get out of here darling, let's see what we can do about this."

I walk over to the sink and take a tiny mouthwash that was sitting in a basket on the sink and rinse my mouth out. I look at myself in the mirror. I look an awful mess. Makeup running down my cheeks. I wash my face off and look at the man. He impatiently pulls me out into the bar quickly though the crowd, through the front door. He stands with me on the sidewalk again and again suddenly holds my face with both of his hands. He brings my face close again to his so I can see him. Looking so deeply into my eyes I swear he was staring into my soul. "Now do you want to share a bit?i just want to help love"  his voice was so calm and sincere. His tone made me melt in his hands. Embarrassed I pull back and begin to tell him "tonight my boyfriend and I had a small argument but things got way too out of hand, it's not really anything new he was just teaching me that my actions have consequences ..I am always messing everything up I deserved what happened to me..I deserved what he did..I deserved what was about to happen on that floor in there...I tried to explain to him that I hadn't meant to-" the man covered my lips with two fingers as I flinched in fear "hush now, darling..I don't want to hear about what you deserved all I want to hear is where we can find your glasses and some belongings" he took his fingers off of my lip and it makes my heart begin to race. "I'm going to get you feeling right again". Completely flushed I put my hands to my chest. He grabbed one of my hands and began leading me down the sidewalk. "Come on now love, where is your house?"