Two Doors Down

Chapter 10: Scars

❄Mikaila❄

Even when my parents were around I wanted desperately to cut myself. I never could, but it was always an option. Until my first night living with my grandmother I hadn't even come close to getting cut. She always said I looked like my mother, it only made her angrier. She shouted it over and over as she slit my wrist and let it bleed out. I wore a bandaid over it the next day and learned to love the sting. I wouldn't break in front of her, never again. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of hearing me cry. The next night I took the knife from her and cut myself, watching scarlet liquid bloom from the wound she started to beat me from then on, knowing that slitting my wrists wouldn't scare me. It became my refuge. When bandages couldn't hide my scars anymore I wore hoodies and jackets, anything to hide the evidence of my weakness. Anything to hide the monster that was trapped inside of me.

"Oh God! What happened to her?!" Mrs. Valero said the moment she saw us come in. She looked at Mattias, expecting answers. His free hand balled up into a fist. "Some creep at school tried to rape her" he hissed, helping me stand to ease the pressure from my ankle. "That's horrible. Do you want me to talk to the school? Because, I will." She said, gathering her things. "No, you've been too kind as it is" I insisted, trying to support myself but failing. "Clearly, child, you deserve much more kindness than what you get. Take her up, Matthias. I am going to have a little talk with the school administrators." She stormed out while Matthias helped me up to my room. I was met with cool air as I entered the room, someone must have turned down the heater. I heard Matthias mutter an annoyed "stupid sister". He tried to roll up my sleeves so he could check if Matt hurt me. "Don't" I said, stopping him before he could. I shivered, he must have noticed because he began to pull a hoodie out of my closet. "I'll change, just give me a minute" I stuttered. He looked at me questioningly. "Please" I pleaded, as he sighed and left the room I thanked him. I put all of my clothes away and put on a red hoodie and some white boxers with the word "BO$$" printed on it repeatedly. I sat on my bed and took a deep breath before pulling my sleeves up, my fingers brushing the marks of my cowardice. I was so lost in thought I didn't hear Matthias come in. "Hey" he said, sitting in front of me and taking my hand in his. His thumb ghosted over old scars. "I was weak and scared-" I tried to explain but he cut me off. "You were brave..." He insisted, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to my wrists. It was more intimate than it was supposed to be and I only hoped he didn't feel my pulse racing as his fingers danced over my wrist. He only smiled at me and brought his laptop, where we ultimately ended up watching Frozen. I felt his fingers fill the gaps between my fingers as Anna began to sing "Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?" And I smiled. I kept my sleeves up. After all, my scars didn't bother me anymore.