The rest of the night consisted of a silently watched Harry Potter movie. Jessica saw no light in the future from that text message. It took everything out of her to not just cry and scream. She waited for months to have him in her reach, her grasp. She loved Zayn Malik with so much of her heart, no matter how shattered it was, she devoted so much of it to him. Scared would be an underestimate of her feelings, she wanted to lock herself in her home and cuddle up with Zayn as if it was their last night on earth. She wanted to cradle in his arms and feel protected for just one night. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him. How much she truly loved him. She was never one to display the true depths of her emotions, but as always, Zayn was her exception.
When wasn’t he?
Zayn watched her face drain from emotion as the night carried on. She sat with her arms folded and legs crossed on the cushion of the couch right next to him. She was so close, yet so distant. He felt as if he was failing her once again, which was never his initiative. He scooted closer to his love and picked up one of her hands that was enclosed in the pocket of her arms and combined their fingers. She looked up at him slowly and watched as he spoke softly for only them to hear.
“This is just another speed bump. We can do this.” He watched their fingers as they fit together perfectly, but she was still processing his words that he spoke to her heart. She took that opportunity to study the features in his face that she missed so much. The manly scent from his Gucci cologne sent her hormones on a frenzy. The way that he didn’t shave in a couple days and his scruff was peeking through. He was so purely beautiful inside and out that it almost confused her how people could even come to hate such a delicate creature. He was much more emotional than he showed, they were very similar in that sort. That’s why it didn’t surprise him when she looked into his eyes and shook a little as she questioned him.
“Promise?”
He didn’t even answer, he pulled her face to his gently and kissed her with all the emotions that soared through his body. Zayn Malik was her drug and she needed his love to survive. Her friends warned her before she and Zayn got involved, but they didn’t understand why they needed to be together. His kisses were like cocaine, a substance that flowed through her veins and sent her to another world of ecstasy. His love was like crystal meth and she needed it just to get through her daily routine. She was willing to do whatever it took to get her drugs and she wasn’t ready for rehabilitation.
When the movie was over, Zayn took Jessica home. He wanted her to understand that he was going to back. Jessica took it upon herself to go bat shit crazy once Zayn left with a goodbye kiss. She knew that whatever Preston had for them was certainly not something she was ready for. She was breaking just thinking about it, but she knew that she had to trust Zayn. She had to give him the rights to protect her and their relationship. She was so used to sticking up for everyone and herself that she forgot at times she wouldn’t be strong enough. Jessica restored the beauty in Zayn and her relationship mentally; she just had to give him her full trust.
She was ready to give herself to him completely.
At 5:30, her alarm clock blessed the air with its perfuse ring, enlightening her that she had to be awake for an event that she knew all too well. She bathed for thirty minutes, hoping that the smell of her lavender scented shower gel would calm her nerves. Unfortunately, it did not. She then moved into her closet, her true safe haven of fashion. The London sun actually came out that day, giving her hope that the day could be somewhat beautiful. She dressed accordingly to the sporadic weather that they faced. She gathered an outfit of tweed, oversized pocket Chanel shorts, Alexander McQueen leopard print blouse, navy Yves Saint Laurent ‘Tributoo’ strappy stilettos with a violet platform, and a Zara oversized clutch. She softly waved her hair; she wanted to look decent; even if it was for Preston.
