Until I Met You

9

Do you feel sometimes like your body is warning you of a heartbreak? In the last few years, I have suffered unexpected shivers that arose from simple actions from Marco himself. It could be a side look showing his annoyance, or the way he forgets my presence when he is with his friends. The kind of shivers that feel like stones, numb bombs that await their trigger. I arrived to the conclusion that even though these stones were present, my naive heart awaited his kisses and his promises and expected them to be warmer and to be able to block any insecurity I was feeling towards him. Ultimately making me decide to shut down those shivers and shove myself into his arms. Turns out, the human body I call mine had always been right, and now, looking at the guy who was my first love, and who made so many promises, is now walking in with a random girl I have never seen before, breaking all that we ever built in the past 4 years. 

I felt a tear try to sneak out of my eye, but I pulled every fiber of strength I had and swiped it away before it ran down to my cheek. I did not know what to do, but there was one thing I knew for sure. I was not going to let myself be defeated by the actions of a coward I used to love deeply.

"I'm enough. I can do this", I said as I stood from my chair and left the half-bitten croissant that oozed chocolate. I made eye contact when he looked into the girl's eyes, and I guess my energy was enough because in a second he glanced upfront and his eye captured my figure standing up with my arms crossed.

His expression was ridiculous, to say the least. He whispered in the girl's ear to maybe go and get a table in the back and she giggled and walked past me like I was not even there. 

"Hey Nati...", he said as he walked to me. 

"Save your words", I said as I swiped his upcoming hands that were trying to go to my waist. He looked stranged and almost spilled a what are you doing until I spoke with all the force I had in me.

"You could have broken up with me you know?", I said looking at him straight in his unashamed eyes, "You could have just said, this is not working out, but instead, you chose to drag me under your sleeve and have me as an accessory until you wanted another one to fit your style".

He looked almost offended until I just decided to walk backwards and go to my table. I asked the waiter to send me the check through my email as I no longer wanted to be present in one of the places that was my safe haven all these years. While I packed my things and got close to the doors, I gathered the rest of my naive heart and whispered to it as I opened myself into the falling rain, "you lost".