The Harvest Trials

Chapter XXI

Hazel

My life is hell. I feel like I've known this for awhile now, but it's just now starting to sink in. It's only been a week since Percy died and everyone's a wreck. The days are longer and harder to get through without him here. Waking up in the morning is more of a chore than it was yesterday. Or the day before that. 

For example, Jason's been distant. Without Piper, Harvester life was tough on him. But now with Percy gone, another one of us gone, it's just that much harder. Percy serves a constant reminder that what a Harvester does can be too much. We can die. It's terrifying. Or it was at least. I'm starting to think that death is the better option for me. And that's coming from the girl that's already died once.

Frank and I have become very reliant on each other to get through the days. We were both really close with Percy, but he and Frank had a closer bond. 

Leo being Leo still tries to raise our spirits by joking around. I thank the gods for that, but I have noticed that he's just not really himself. The smiles take a little more effort and the jokes don't come as easily. 

Nico. Where do I even start? Nico is like a shell. A hollowed out version of himself. I can't imagine the grief Nico is feeling right now. Out of everyone in the cell, Nico has known Percy the longest. Their relationship wasn't always the greatest between Nico's crush and all the other things that came up. But they really did matter a lot to each other, whether or not they admitted it. And I knew Nico was really feeling the loss. 

Will didn't really talk to anyone but Nico. He didn't speak unless he was spoken to. With everyone being taken away from us and Percy's death, I know he's scared to lose anyone else. I am too. All these recent events have really taken their toll on Will. 

Four days ago, Sunday(Percy died on Friday), I was on the way to a Harvester shift with Will and Nico. There was this empty feeling in the pit of my stomach because on a typical Sunday morning, Percy would be walking next to me. 

Anyway, I had happened to glance at Will on our way to the Harvesters that morning and I noticed that he was crying. He wasn't making any sound; Nico hadn't even noticed yet and he was only walking a few paces ahead. 

I stepped closer to Will and took his hand. He looked startled and gave me a questioning look. "What's wrong?" I asked. He cracked a humorless smile and gestured around him with his other hand. "Isn't everything?" He asked. Nico glanced back at that but stayed ahead, no doubt listening in. He probably sensed that this was an us moment. 

I gave Will a look. "You know what I mean, Will. What's bothering you?" He was about to answer when he got a little chocked up. He dropped my hand and looked at the passing floor tiles. "It-it's just...I uh, my sole purpose is to help people, but...why can't I help anyone?" He asked me. 

My thoughts immediately jumped to Percy body being dumped into the cell, how Will rushed to him, did everything he could to help but there was just nothing he could do. Percy was already dead. 

"Will," I said, getting his attention. "There are things in this war that can't be helped. Just because you were there and it's your 'purpose' doesn't mean it was your fault." I could see the disbelief in his eyes.

"I know you Will. You will never stop trying to help people. It's in your nature to help. Even if you don't think you are doing anything, or if don't think you're doing enough, you are always helping. It's your words, it's your smile, it's your presence...You always help. I need you to know that."

I remember him smiling at that. I could see the relief in his glistening blue eyes. I could almost feel the warm sunlight. "Thanks, Hazel," he had said. Nico glanced back and caught my eye. He smiled too.