Paralysis

Chapter Ten

  Olive hesitated when walking up to the front door of her home. She couldn't make her body override her mind's control over her. She wanted to go inside, but everything inside her was forcing her not to. Olive decided to take a seat at the small gazebo across her lawn so she could calm herself before walking inside the house. Her eyes were becoming heavier the longer she sat inside the aged, wooden pavilion. After quite some time to think, there wasn't much else to think about anymore; her brain became putty. While rubbing her eyes to wake herself up, Olive stood, turning around to unlock her front door. As soon as the sound of the door unlocking was heard, Micah was already standing in front of the door, awaiting Olive's entrance.
She smiled softly the moment she saw his beautifully youthful smile and honey pigmented eyes looking up at her. Olive felt like getting teary eyed again, but she wanted to remain strong for Micah. He had already seen her breakdown into tears once and she didn't want him to see her in that state ever again. Olive set down her backpack to the side against the wall.
  "Hi, booger." Olive greeted Micah with a classic nickname she frequently used to push his buttons. Micah didn't react the typical way he usually would have—but instead, just wrapped both of his arms around Olive's waist and rested the side of his head against her abdomen. Olive looked down at Micah, affectionately rubbing the top of his head. A miserable grin crept up on her face as she tried desperately not to fill her eyes with melancholic tears. Micah didn't necessarily have to do much, or even understand what it was he was doing for Olive's heart to melt. Her anxiousness was almost completely washed away the moment Micah hugged her. It was an embrace that was long needed; something she looked forward to each day.
  "You're home later than usual. Did something happen?" Micah asked, looking up at Olive, while still holding her. Olive looked down at Micah, running her fingers through his coarse brown hair. She shook her head slowly.
  "No, I just went to visit someone for a while so I could say hi." Olive was cryptic with telling Micah exactly who she went to visit. Though she didn't lie entirely, there was an uneasiness within her. Micah pouted at her, furrowing his brows playfully. Olive chuckled at him.
  "It was your boyfriend, wasn't it?" Micah suddenly blurted out, startling Olive in the process. Olive was struck with an uncontrollable fit of laughter after Micah's comment. Micah released his grip around Olive and crossed his arms as he stepped back. His cheeks were puffed out, as he continued to pout.
  "No, I didn't go see my boyfriend. It's kind of hard to do that since I don't have one." Olive tittered through her words, still reeling from Micah's random assumption.
  "Then who did you visit?" Micah asked, extremely curious to get an answer out of Olive that wasn't dishonest. Olive pressed her lips together, smiling again.
  "It was a friend from school. We're working on a project together and I wanted to go by her house so I could visit for a while. We just talked about the project and about school." Olive lied. She was overcome with the urge for Micah not to find out exactly where she was. He seemed to believe her, surprisingly enough. She mulled over her thoughts, reminding herself that it wasn't the sake of deliberately lying to Micah, she just didn't want him to become upset over the mention of their father. Granted, Micah was only six years old when their father died. Olive still didn't want to put him in the same emotional situation she had been in. Despite Micah being so young at the time, she could always tell that the thought of losing their father before he really knew him was harmful enough.
  "That sounds boring." Micah smiled up at Olive once again, one of his front teeth peeking down from the tissue lining, getting ready to slowly grow in one of the several adult teeth that Micah needed. Olive let out a breathy laugh.
  "It does, huh?" She crouched down to Micah's level to properly hug him.
  "You'd better get used to it, then. That's how high school is, nerd." Once she released Micah, Olive stuck her tongue out at him. Micah giggled without really thinking. The joy of goofing around with his older sister came naturally.
  "You're rude." Micah jabbed, laughing along with Olive. She chuckled briefly, shutting her eyes while giving Micah a warming visage. Olive knew just how intelligent Micah was. He was extremely observant, so Olive knew she had to try her best at home to seem like she wasn't falling apart. Most of the time, Olive figured that Micah remained silent or on the fence about her emotions, because he simply didn't know how to comfort her. There wasn't much he could do or say at his age, especially when his big sister was constantly telling him that she was fine; even when she clearly wasn't. Olive was grateful she had a brother like Micah. It broke her heart that she didn't have much time to spend with him, regardless of how much she tried.
  Micah was a very understanding young boy, however. He never held the fact that his mother and sister were away a lot against them. He knew what their situation was and took it with a grain of salt. He was much different from Olive in that aspect; which made her slightly jealous that even at his age, he could easily identify a situation for what it was and make the most of it. The fact that he could construct and destruct a difficult position was amazing to Olive. He never hid from his emotions and never lied about what he was truly feeling. Olive thought she was betraying Micah in a way, yet she still couldn't grasp the idea of telling her younger brother that she was struggling with weight of her own mind. Olive refused to put that burden on Micah's shoulders.
  "I love you." Olive suddenly stated out of the blue. Micah smiled brightly up at her; his one dimple on the right side of his cheek revealing itself as he beamed at her.
  "I know, I love you too." Micah replied, then used an index finger to push the tip of his nose upward, giving himself a pig nose. Olive saw her mother walk into the kitchen out of the corner of her eye. Olive lightly flicked Micah's forehead as she stood upright. Micah grumbled and rubbed his forehead.
  "Hi, Ma." Olive greeted her mother, grabbing her backpack before walking into the kitchen. Olive hugged her mother from behind as she began to put away the clean dishes she left on the dish rack. Micah followed Olive into the kitchen. Olive soon realized that she had missed out on yet another night to have dinner with her family. She mentally cursed at herself upon realizing that she had the opportunity to spend time at home, considering that Franky told her to leave early. Olive ignored the troubling thoughts she was exposing herself to, once she reiterated the more important reason she didn't immediately head home.
  "Did they need you to stay later at work?" Olive's mother asked, sounding slightly concerned. Olive forced a smile.
  "No, I was at a classmate's house for a while so we could hang out and work on a school project." Olive lied to her mother as well. It pained her to do such a thing even more than lying to her brother.
  "That sounds fun. How was your first day of detention?" Olive's mother jabbed, making her reveal a mischievous grin. Olive chuckled nervously.
  "It was fine, nothing interesting really happened. I had a nice talk with the girl I got into a fight with. Her name's Samantha. We actually got a chance to talk about a lot of things." Olive was at the very least honest with her mother about how a part of her day had unraveled somewhat positively. Olive genuinely felt that Samantha and herself could get along.
  "That's really great, Olive. I'm happy to hear that. Tell her that she's welcome for dinner any time she'd like." Olive's mother mentioned. Olive squinted her eyes in disbelief while, grinning suspiciously.
  "Why, so you can have a little talk with her too?" Olive stated sarcastically, assuming why her mother wanted to have Samantha over for dinner someday. Her mother had a broad smile on her face.
  "Well, maybe just a teeny tiny talk. But I feel that anyone mature enough to set aside differences and genuinely apologize to you for mistreating you is definitely welcome in our home." Olive's mother proclaimed. Micah shifted from acting as Olive's hip attachment to walking back into the living room and finishing the movie he had paused. Olive watched as Micah sat back down at the couch, thinking about how odd it would be to have Samantha in their home. She chuckled at the idea, assuming it wouldn't be that far fetched with everything else going on in her life.
  "There's leftovers from dinner if you're hungry." Olive's mother looked like she was also in deep thought for a brief moment. Olive was quite quizzical once she noticed her expression.
  "You also weren't here after school to get ready for work either." Olive's mother mentioned, clearly waiting for Olive to explain.
  "Yeah, I started bringing my work clothes with me to school since I wouldn't have much time to come home, change, then go to work after detention. I'm sure Franky wouldn't mind me being a little late, but I want to avoid that as much as possible." Olive answered, relieving her mother of any unnecessary worry. Her mother nodded with understanding.
  "How has your practicing been going? Senior year is coming up." Olive's mother brought up. Olive rolled her eyes lightheartedly.
  "Senior year is in ten months. Junior year just started." Olive mentioned, grinning a little.
  "I know, but those ten months will disappear at the blink of an eye. I remember moving here from Scotland with your grandparents when I was your brother's age and time just went by so quickly. Before I knew it, I was graduated and already attending university in New York." Olive's mother informed her of her journey and how fast it all passed her by. Olive felt a pull in her chest. Her anxiousness had returned, causing her to become wary of her future. Olive looked at her future as the equivalent to static on a television screen. While she knew she had a lot to offer, with many options on the table, she still somehow managed to discourage herself.
  "I know, Ma. You tell us that story all the time." Olive responded, gathering more of her thoughts together. Olive recalled her mother bringing up her cello practices before Olive's mind focused elsewhere.
  "The one thing that's crappy about having detention is that I can't practice my cello after school like I normally do. But as soon as the remaining twenty-nine days are over, I can continue practicing. I've been thinking a lot about colleges for music or the arts in general." Olive continued, excitedly sharing her plans of the nearing future. Olive's mother gave Olive a heavenly glimmer, raising her eyebrows with joy. It was clear how proud she was.
  "That's good, macushla. I'm so glad you're thinking of making a career in music. I'm sure any school in the country would beg you to attend their school when they see how well you play the cello. Not to mention the arrangement of other instruments you're so amazing at playing." Olive's mother gave her a huge dosage of encouragement, as she always did. With her excitement over the news, Olive could hear a sliver of her mother's Scottish accent. Over the years, Olive came to realize that her mother's accent only slightly came out whenever she was extremely elated or angry. Olive loved that her mother was always supportive of her decisions. Her mother never argued about any topic, if said topic made Olive exhilarated or hopeful for the future. Olive was all smiles when hearing her mother's cheerful sentiment.
  "Thank you, Ma." Olive responded happily before continuing the discussion.
  "I hope a school will like me too. I've found a few that aren't too far from home either. Even though I have my heart set on a school in Berlin, the other colleges I'm looking at are in other states. It's still far but it's better than packing up and heading over to another country, right?" Olive shared her interest with colleges to her mother with Micah suddenly listening in. Olive was ecstatic at the thought in studying abroad, but she also had to think about her family. Despite her conversation with Dean, Olive wondered if she would truly be capable of leaving the country and her family behind.
  "Yes, I would rather you not run off to another country we've never been to, but if it's what's best for your future, you need to do what you feel is right in order to get the best education you want." Olive's mother expressed, enthusiastically. Olive smile dissipated to a rather glum state, looking at her mother with endearment.
  "I'll hide in your suitcase if you plan on going to Berlin." Micah stated from the living room, still seated at the couch. He shifted his weight on his knees, peeking over the kitchen counter. Olive chuckled.
  "I don't think you'd get that far once we go through TSA at the airport. They'll arrest me thinking I kidnapped you." Olive brought up, shutting down Micah's idea with a light joke. Though she knew he was being sarcastic, a part of her knew he would want to tag along with her if she planned on going to Berlin. Micah pouted, plopping back down on the couch, facing the television. Olive made her way behind the kitchen counter and into the living room. She crouched down to Micah's level.
  "Don't worry, if I do get accepted into Berlin University, I won't be gone long. And I'll call you every single day to check up on you. I promise." Olive reassured Micah of the melancholic shift in his demeanor. He beamed a bit at Olive. After that, Olive didn't have much else to say. She stood up from her crouched stance and silently awaited for either her mother or Micah to say something. She no longer had any energy left after the day she had. Her mother could sense her exhaustion.
  "You'd better get to bed early. It's a school night and you look exhausted, mo stór." Olive's mother mentioned, removing the elongated silence and ending her worry with another term of endearment in Gaelic. Olive quickly nodded, agreeing with her mother. Micah overheard the end of the conversation and shut the television off. He shuffled across the floor in order to meet up with Olive again. Olive cracked up with laughter watching as Micah moved towards her. He extended his arms to the side and walked up to give her a hug before they both headed to bed.
  "Now you don't have to carry me to bed this time." Micah muttered with his face against Olive's stomach. She ruffled his hair and leaned down slightly to kiss his forehead.
  "Goodnight, goofball." Olive expressed. He released his grip on Olive. Micah hugged their mother, then headed into his bedroom to get some sleep. Olive tittered.
  "You don't have work tonight do you?" Olive asked her mother. Her mother shook her head.
  "Not that I've heard. This whole per diem thing is fairly annoying, so I could be called in at any time." Olive's mother explained her situation to Olive. Her mother shook her head while thinking to herself that she needed to remain positive.
  "But then again, it's better than nothing at all, or even being paid less than I should be making." Olive's mother made the conversation much more cheery by quickly changing her attitude. Deep down, Olive assumed that her mother's vantage point shifted so suddenly because she knew that Olive wasn't feeling like herself lately. Olive's mother could sense the tension within Olive, but hesitated on digging deeper into the issue. Being that Olive wasn't one to talk about her true feelings much at all, her mother wouldn't push her and allowed Olive to come to her if there was an issue she wished to discuss.
  "I'm glad you're at the very least still happy with where you work. I'm gonna shower and then go to bed." Olive mentioned. Her mother nodded, graciously smiling at Olive.
  "Alright. Goodnight, baby." Olive's mother walked up to hold her tightly, squeezing harder toward the end of the embrace. Olive winced.
  "Ow, you always do that." Olive joked, pulling away from the sudden aggressive affection. Her mother giggled softly.
  "I'm sorry sweetie, I just love you to pieces." Olive's mother commented.
  "That wouldn't have turned me into pieces, that would've been more like squeezing raw cookie dough out of a plastic tube." Olive jested, sending her mother into a fit of laughter. Olive tenderly smiled.
  "Goodnight, Ma." Olive repeated, walking toward her bedroom while her mother stayed in the kitchen.
  "Goodnight, iníon." Olive's mother concluded the conversation for the evening. After departing from her mother, Olive sat her backpack down beside her bed. Reminding herself of what she had done at school today, Olive pulled the money she stole from Morgan's wallet out of her bra. Olive placed the money on top of her dresser. She stood there silently for a moment, gazing at the money. She then pulled Morgan's wallet out of her pants pocket. Olive wasn't about to forget the promise that she had made with Franky. Olive grabbed the money and put it back into Morgan's wallet, setting it down on her dresser. The act of doing so seemed to relieve Olive of any anxiousness she felt on the matter. She continued on with her night by preparing a towel and clothes to change into after her shower. Olive pulled out her phone, scrolling through her contacts to find Damian's name.
  After finding his contact, her thumb just hovered over the edit button. She planned on blocking his number but hesitated. She mentally asked herself why she stalled. After everything that Damian was doing just for the sake of making her suffer for his own enjoyment was enough reason to block his number. She knew she was done with being a pickpocket, yet, the thought of the video he took of her being sent in to the police or all around school was what really stopped her from blocking Damian. Relieving herself from the burden of being blackmailed was just on the horizon, but at the cost of her mother and brother finding out, it became difficult to block Damian's number. Olive had even mulled over the possibility that any school she planned on attending would be made aware of her thievery, and be unwilling to accept her.
  Olive's phone screen turned black for a second, then started vibrating with the screen changing again. Franky had called. Olive immediately answered.
  "Hey." Olive greeted her coworker, plainly. Franky let out a sigh of relief.
  "Are you okay?" Franky questioned, wanting an honest answer from Olive.
  "Not really, but I'll live, right?" Olive answered Franky's serious question with a somewhat sarcastic remark. Olive could hear Franky click her tongue. Olive tried to stifle a laugh.
  "Smartass. Did you get home safe?" Franky asked in a concerned tone of voice.
  "Yeah, I'm getting ready to take a shower." Olive answered, informing Franky that she didn't need to worry.
  "Good. Well, I won't keep you from your shower, so I'll see you Thursday." Franky mentioned. Olive was a bit relieved knowing she didn't have to go into work the following day and could just go home right after detention.
  "Okay. See you then, Franky. Thank you again for everything today." Olive reminded Franky of how grateful she was for her help. Franky chuckled.
  "Don't even mention it. I care about you a lot, I'd do that kind of shit for you any day and every day for as long as I'm still breathing." Franky expressed to Olive. Olive looked down at the floor with a dejected frown. Without understanding why, a grateful smile curled upon her mouth before vanishing.
  "I know. Goodnight." Olive spoke, ready to end the conversation.
  "Goodnight, Olive." Franky replied, then ended the phone call. Olive walked out of her room and into the bathroom, noticing that her mother had gone into her own bedroom. She let the water run until it became warmer. While watching the water spill out of the shower head, she was caught up in her thoughts. Olive pondered on what she would do at school if she ran into Damian. Hesitating to block his number was bad enough, but she genuinely wanted to avoid him at all costs. She thought about Damian's behavior outside of the restaurant a few hours prior. It was incredibly odd how he acted like he felt compassion towards her in that moment. Olive rolled her eyes. She couldn't believe that that very word, as well as Damian's name would ever be used in the same sentence.