i hate that i love you ~klaroline fanfic~

chapter 7 "give me time"

Caroline's pov

okay so it's been a week since the whole thing with Emma and the whole Kol admitting his feelings stuff happened. neither me or Elena have spoken to Emma since the fiasco in the hallway, i heard that Tyler took Emma to a scrapyard to hangout with his druggie friends for their date, which of course made me laugh but i laughed even more when i found out she slept with him as soon as they got back from the scrapyard. i mean seriously girl, do you have no self respect? i seriously have started to question why i was ever friends with such a desperate attention seeking whore. 

now as for the Kol thing, we went to my favourite cafe and spoke, we have come to a mutual agreement that we shouldn't date for multiple reasons. them being, once this school year has finished he goes off to college so it would be hard to ever see each other, two being that Ben and Jake would never allow it, like never in a million years and third being that i have only just got out of a serious relationship that ended really badly so we agreed that it wasn't the best time to be jumping into anything. we agreed that nothing would change between us though, we will stay friends and nothing more.

i have only seen Tyler in the hallways and when i do i turn the corner so he doesn't see me. i know i cant hide from him forever but for now i can. even though he's technically 'with' Emma he's still Tyler and Tyler is ferocious and he will end up cheating on Emma and i still don't trust him around me. 

i haven't seen Klaus at all and i'm starting to wonder if he's ever coming back. there's rumours going around that he's moved school again or that his mum pulled him out for home schooling because he nearly beat a guy to death in an alley way. i seriously wonder how people can come up with such ridiculous theory's. maybe the guys just ill!

i was currently walking through the forest. yes i know it's weird for a 16 year old girl to just randomly go for a walk in the forest..but i like it here, it's peaceful. i always come here as an escape or when i want to think. i keep walking, humming to myself, until i reach my usual spot, a little bench that will probably break soon, in between two big trees, looking out into the fields next to the forest. i hardly ever see anyone else in the forest i don't think anyone really comes in here, which is nice. i sit down on the bench and put my earphones in and blast my music.  

i jump when i feel someone tap my shoulder. i whip my head around only to find Tyler standing behind the bench with a smirk on his face. i immediately stand up and try to put as much distance as possible between us. he frowns suddenly but quickly replaces it with his smirk again. i take my earphones out and stuff them in my pocket.

"w-what d-do you want T-Tyler" he chuckles as he hears my stutter, from my nerves. can you blame me? he almost raped me in the middle of school, could you imagine what he could do out in the forest...where no is here to help me. he steps around the bench and closer to me. i try to stand my ground to show that i'm not scared, even though i am, but it fails when i subconsciously take a step back.

"caroline, caroline, caroline. i don't want to hurt you. i promise. i just want to talk, if you will let me that is"  i narrow my eyes at him, not sure whether to let him talk or not. i guess it wouldn't hurt. i nod slowly.

"ok, you have 3 minutes" he nods and sits down in the middle of the bench. i hesitate for a second, starring at the bench.

"I'm not going to hurt you Caroline, please just sit" i sigh and sit down on the other side of the bench so i'm not next to him. he hesitates for a few seconds before finally talking.

"i know what i did to you was fucked up. i know i'm a fucking twat. i know i dont deserve you. i know i'm probably the last person you want to be near. i know you...i know you hate me. i know i broke you. i know that i hate myself for what i did. i know i drink nearly every night just to try and get ride of the memories and the pain in my chest. i know i miss you like fuck. but i also know that you will never love me again. and i know that i am so deeply sorry for everything i did and everything i put you through" i stare at him wide eyes and blink a few times to make sure i'm not imagining this. i never thought i would hear that all come from him...i dont know what to think of the fact that he drinks every night because of what happend. but i need to ask one thing before i leave.

"why did you do it?" he groans and rubs his hands over his face then faces forwards, looking into the fields. i copy his actions.

"because i'm a fucking idiot that was afraid to fall in love. because i didn't want you to break my heart so i thought i took the easy way out but i think i would have preferred you to break my heart. i hate seeing you upset and broken. it fucking kills me but then i remember it's my fault and thats when i start drinking again. i literally hate myself for what i done and i hate myself for doing it because i was scared to fall in love" he sighs and turns to face me. when he does i gasp as i see the tears in his eyes and for the first time since the incident i look him in the eyes and i see the broken soul...maybe i wasn't the only one affected by this messy break up. he takes my hand in his and squeezes it. i dont pull it away like i usually would have done. call me an idiot but i believe him. " but being away from you, seeing you hate me...makes me realise that i already fell in love with you and once i realised that i knew that i fucked up big time and that i would do anything to get you back and i can assure you Emma means nothing to me" i feel the tears slide down my cheeks at his words.

"i dont hate you Ty, i hate what you did. i will never stop loving you and as far as i'm concerned i'm still in love with you. i miss you like crazy and i believe you" he looks hopeful for a seconds as his face lights up into a big grin. "but" as soon as i say that his face falls and he immidiately looks worried. "i need you to give me time to heal and to think" he looks at me for a few seconds before he nods and brings his hand up and cups my cheek, his thumb rubbing over it in a soothing manner. he stares deeply into my eyes before he moves in and kisses my lips softly. he pulls away after a few seconds then rests his forehead against mine.

"i promise i will wait for you, for as long as you need. i'll be there as a friend until you've had enough time. i will always welcome you back with open arms. i love you so much" he whispers then kisses my lips again.

"i love you to, and thank you for understanding." i whisper back then rest my head in the crook of his neck as he rests his chin against the top of my head lightly. my arms wrapped around his waist and his wrapped around my waist. i missed this...i missed him.