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blanket

When Stephanie came back she was different. Her hair just so slightly messy, Jude didn't know why he noticed that first.

But her skin was sunken, and she now had a tube taped to her face and going up her nose, she fiddled with it as she walked it, gagging on it.

"Steph!" Jude said a little to quickly. She looked relieved to see him, at least a little bit.

The nurse around her shoulder sent her in her way, Steph and Jude both subconsciously walking towards their window side meeting place.

When they sat down neither said a word, for once, Jude didn't like that.

He slid his hand into hers, his twitchy fingers laying atop her frail, and he could have sworn he felt her heartbeat through them, just with the lightest touch.

"So Jude, you found your reason yet?"

He glanced at her quickly before turning back towards the window. "No, you."

"No." She exhaled, closing her eyes, it pained her to say that. "Can you try, can you tell me about something happy?"

The words started pouring out of him.

" When I was a kid, my mom would work until really late on Wednesdays, so I went to my neighbors house,Emma. One day when we were like 10 we filled our knapsacks with goldfish and strawberry jam and walked out to were you couldn't see a single house. There was this tree that was so big when you looked up it was all you could see, it was like a roof over your head. Steph all you could see from the outside was those tiny rays of sunshine that fell like freckles on our faces."

All Steph did was listen, and she buried her head in his chest. She didn't pull away, she didn't say a word.

" We decided to camp there that night, like real explorers. Her Mom brought us blankets and everything. And that night when the stars came out, it was brighter than we had ever seen them. And Emma old me this story. Before time started there was nothing but sunshine, but one day someone put a blanket over the sky. All the animals wept because they could no longer see the faces of the ones they loved. So a hummingbird flew so far up he got dizzy and poked hole after hole into the sky so the sunlight could shine through. When he got too tired, and his very feathers were falling off his wings, he let himself fall through. Then everyone looked up, it was so beautiful it brought tears to their eyes. They called it the stars and moon."

It was addictive, the very words Jude said. Having every word he said matter to someone. Without an ounce of selfishness to it. More than anything we wanted her become addicted too.

"And everyone realized, there was so much more darkness could be. So even when they did find a way to pull it off the sky, they still put it up there sometimes. Because in the dark everyone was themselves, and nothing else."

Jude squeezed her hand tight, taking a shaking breath.

"She said it was probably stupid, but it wasn't Stephanie. Because that night was perfect and the air was sweet and with wind rushed through the leaves and sounded like lollipop wrappers and, it was everything at once."

Jude didn't know why he said those words, or maybe he did, maybe he'd been planning it for a long time. He couldn't really tell. But he knew why he thought of that one day, that one perfect day.

" Steph, we don't have to do this."

"Do what."

"I can't let you find that reason Steph."

She pulled away, Jude felt like there was a hole in his chest were she once was.

"No I have to."

"No you don't."

"We made a deal!"

"You found it a long time ago!" Jude said much to loud. Everyone looked at them, if only for a moment. As Jude felt eyes crawl over him she walked away. And that was all she did, and Jude didn't follow.