I hate you, I love you. (Billie Eilish FanFiction)

First Stop : Sacremento

I woke up the next morning with billies arm wrapped tightly around my waste. Oh fuck. What the hell did we do last night. I get up out of bed, stretching my body roughly and walking into the bathroom to get ready for the day. Today was billies first stop on tour and it's also my first time watching her perform live. I stare in the mirror, examining the many hickies on my neck and chest. I touch one, wincing, remembering billies lips on my that exact spot less than 24 hours ago. It was amazing. Last night with Billie was unlike anything I've ever experienced. We didn't even fuck and it's all that's on my mind. She's so dominant but such a baby at the same time and I love that about her. I pull a comb through my hair, sloppily throwing it up in a bun and turning on the shower. I step in and quickly wash my body, hair and face. I step out and wrap my towel around my body and one around my hair. I brush my teeth and put on some light makeup. As for hair I just tightened my bun a little and did some baby hairs.

I decided on this outfit for today. I pull my clothes and shoes on and walk out of the bathroom, seeing Billie sitting up on the bed staring intensely into her phone. Closing the bathroom door behind me, she notices me and looks up. Her eyes go wide at my appearance. Welp I guess I look nice.

"You- you look nice." mind reader?

"thank you" I smile. "Your mom texted me earlier this morning and she told me that the show starts at seven tonight but you have press and an interview with Beats 1 at five. Seeing as though it's only noon we have a few hours to kill. Wanna go do something?"

"Sure let me get ready"

"Okay I'll go pick us up some coffee I'll be back soon" I say as she gets out of the bed and gathers a towel and her toiletries and walks towards the bathroom.

"Okay, thanks.. Princess"

She's already in the bathroom before I have a chance to respond and I feel my face getting hot as I walk out of the hotel room and down to the lobby. I walk to the nearest coffee shop and order two coffees for Billie and I. On the walk back I start to think. What does this mean for Billie and i's relationship. How will our parents react when they find out we all of a sudden don't hate each other anymore? And if this turns into something serious.. how would they react to our full-blown relationship. So much was running through my mind as I approach the hotel once again swiping our key in the door and walking into the room.  I walk in to see Billie in the mirror. Adjusting her chains.

I hear her lightly singing a familiar tune.
"Baby I don't feel so good, six words you nev"
She stop singing when she sees me into the room, smiling and saying
"Thanks for the coffee, so!! What do you wanna do today?" She eagerly says, ripping the coffee from my hands and drinking the scorching hot substance way too hot.

"I think we should go somewhere and talk, like a park or something, there's some shit we need to sort out." I say. Truth is I don't know where we stand after last night. I have all these new feelings and confusions but they dont overshadow the fact that I enjoyed last night. A lot. I see the color drain from her face for a second, then it's quickly replaced by a smirk. She slowly walks towards me, grabs my hand and leads me over to the mirror. She stands behind me and wraps her arms around my waist, running her hands all around the top half of my body, squeezing my hips, my breasts while softly kissing my neck. Her actions were everything but sexual. It was like she was admiring me. Studying me. This is nothing like the Billie from last night. Trust me I enjoyed last night but this felt nice. Different.

"We can talk about whatever you want, but we should leave soon because it's already 1:30 and I have to be back at around five remember, for sound check and everything.."

"Fine by me. Let's go" we walk out of the hotel room as I call an Uber to one of the nicest, prettiest parks in the area.

We sir on the bench which is surprisingly bigger than it looks. Billie sit crisscross applesauce or I simply cross my legs resting my hands in my lap.

"Soooo are you gonna talk?" Billie laughs and I chuckle nervously.

"Oh yeah of course um.. so like. Last night was" 

"-Great" she cuts me off. A smile appears on her face and as she grins I can't help but smile too. Ever since this tour began I've just been noticing how absolutely beautiful and breathtaking she is. I would do anything to keep that smile on her face.

"Right. So I-I" I grow frustrated with myself as I begin to stutter so she just butts in again.

"Here I'll talk. Ever since I met you I've hated you and I know you could say the same for me." She laughs. " but since tour began I've been having these... feelings. Towards you.. and I completely understand if you don't feel the same way. But if we know one thing, we know that we know each other inside and out. We've been around each other our entire lives. And you know that I'm very blunt, I don't like to keep shit hidden. So I'm going to tell you. From the second we got on that plain, to the second we got on that bus, all the way up until last night, I have not been able to stop thinking about you. I feel like you're sewn on me. Etched in my brain and in a way I don't mind because I highly doubt you aren't having any of the same feelings. I'm not gonna pressure you into a relationship if that's not what you want but I had to tell you" She finishes and if my mom raised a bitch, I would've been bawling my eyes out right then and there. Instead I replied with,

"I feel the same way, Billie. I'm just sort of confused because I could've swore I wanted nothing to do with you, that I genuinely disliked you but now for some reason I feel like I.. like I need you. I feel like a relationship would be moving way too fast. But I'm willing to try, if you are. Because you're all I've been able to think about too."

She smiles widely and leans in. Engulfing me in a passionate kiss. I look down at my phone to reveal the time.

4:32

" hey bil we should get going, you have to be back soon." I called the Uber and we got in. The ride consisted of comfortable silence, with billies hand rested on my thigh. I played with her rings and then I had a thought.

"Bil, how are we gonna tell our parents, and Finneas?"