Gangleader Academy

9. Big brother

Trigger warning due to violence and mental / physical abuse.

This chapter also contains representation of people that go through emotional trauma and the effects that come with it. We all deal with things in our lives, and we all handle / cope with those things differently. Some people go into this state where any and all emotion just shuts down and you stop caring about pretty much everything. The reason I wrote this type of coping mechanism is because that is how I myself sometimes cope and I think there's not a lot of representation for the types of people who go through this.

⚠️If you don't enjoy or may be triggered by any type of emotional and or physical abuse and emotional damage please skip this chapter but know that it plays a pivotal part in this in this story and is kind of the setting point for certain characters development.

Everything is dark. So dark that even with adjusted eyes I see nothing but endless darkness. And worse, everything is quiet including myself. I look around and try to hear something. Anything. I open my mouth to speak but suddenly I have something in my mouth, a rag maybe, keeping my voice muffled and silent.

I close my eyes and try to slow my breathing the way my father taught me but I can't help the panic that's causing me to shake and sweat the way I am. My hands are bound together as well as my feet. How long have I been here?

Suddenly a door infront of me opens and a bright light blinds me. I see a shape of a man maybe a little over six foot, built, light hair. That's the extent of my ability to profile him with my blurred vision.

He takes slow deliberate steps toward me and stops about a yard away and I still can't focus on his face. But when he speaks I no longer need or want to.

"I was really hoping you wouldn't disappoint me again this week Clarissa. You know what I have to do when you disappoint me." The voice is deep and familiar. Just like those words that I've heard so so many times.

I heard as my father unbuckled his belt and watched as he bent it in half. I could feel tears run down my face and hear my own muffled whimpers as I tried to shrink back into the chair I'm bound to.

When he draws back I squeeze my eyes shut and try to hold in my sobs. Then like many times before, I feel a blinding pain whip the side of my face. Then again on my arm, my chest, my stomach, and my back. At this point I should be indifferent to this form of punishment. But my father was always good about not hitting me in the same spot twice in certain places so as not to leave a scar. But in places that wouldn't be seen, he would repeatedly whip and beat until I lost so much blood I passed out or was in so much pain my subconscious couldn't take it any longer.

Suddenly he stops. This is something that has never happened whilst I'm still conscious. I force my eyes open and look up to see his blurry face looking at me skeptically.

"Obviously this isn't getting through to you Clarissa. What can I do to help you? Because obviously this isn't working.." he paces the floor until the idea finally hits him.

"I have done just about everything I can think of. I've cut you, beat you, killed your pets and friends while you watched. I've done everything I can to help you grow. But this isn't working huh?" He sits there for a minute then walks out of the room with purpose in his step.

    I breathe heavier, fearing the new form of torture he somehow came up with. I can't help but silently shiver as my tears drench my face. What else could he possibly do to me? What did I do? He always punished me for little things or just when he was bored but...

My thoughts are cut off by this sound of a woman screaming. The next thing I know my father enters the room holding someone's arm and dragging them toward me. I take a deep breath to ready myself for this next form of torture though I'm not sure what could be inflicted upon me that's worse and being whipped with a belt.