one.
-♡-
and i'm not sure if you're aware of it but you are unaware of what love is.
you frightened me.
you made me think that love was fear, that being in love should cause a burning feeling in my chest, that being in love would bring months of rain without an umbrella or a mere hand to hold.
i wish that we were forever strangers ; i wish we had never met because i would be much better off.
i would not have trust issues, crippling anxiety and the insecurity that i'll
never be fucking good enough for anybody if not for you.
you made me happy on occasions, i can't deny that. you made me feel special but the problem with feeling special and being special is that they are completely different things.
you knew that i cared for you, that i loved you to a certain extent and you took that for granted.
you thought that i would always be there for you, even after you put me through hell. you thought that you could drag me anywhere and everywhere, that i would follow immediately.
and i have to admit, it worked.
i once believed we were soulmates, destined to be from the get go, yet i knew our love was not written in the stars but rather in my notebook, words and poetry that you never deserved to be the subject of.
you will never understand the months of pain that you put me through. you will say that i hurt you too, you will say that i played with your head and other treacherous things, won't you?
i do not hold what happened between us close to heart, yet i hope that you do. i hope that if you think of me as anything ; be it whatever, i hope that you remember me as a lesson and that you remember what you lost.
