Dedicated to SnowWhiteSwan because she made me finish the first chapter :P
Rachel Endling (Atleast how I see her) ---------->
CHAPTER 1
JOSH’S POV
I saw her standing there waiting on line for her turn to play. Some record label was holding a contest someone to perform on stage and possibly get signed. I wish they had done this when Marianas Trench was trying to get signed.
She was next in line to perform. I was supposed to be judging this, but they fired me the day before for "unspecified reasons”. Probably because some people found Marianas Trench “offensive” and “an emo band”. Yeah, and they call the shit that plays on the radio “music”? Come on. The best I could do now was peer through the window. I’m kind of glad I didn't judge this, or a few choice words might have escaped my lips
. The girl had a guitar slung over her shoulder. Great, terrible music to accompany loud wails they call "singing". Why was I saying this? Maybe she would be better than the others.
She moved her hand up to brush a strand of wavy, red-brown hair out of her face. Her wrist flashed me and- no, she couldn't. She looked so happy there in line, waiting for her turn.
As she walked up the stage, she stumbled a little. I gritted me teeth. She swung her guitar around and said "Hello, I'm Rachel Endling. I'm 25 years old. I come from Whistler. And, I have no idea what I'm doing here up on this stage." I chuckled a bit; making sure no one saw me.
She started strumming a couple notes on the guitar and the familiar tune flowed back to me. Alibis. It suited her voice. As she strummed the guitar, her wrist pointed in my direction. Yes, cuts. My mind traveled back to a dark place, where cutting was a daily occurrence and something was always being injected in my system. Then the hospital and rehab. I shuddered at the memory of it all. Josh, remember. You're clean now, and there was no way it is getting back to you.
The rendition of Alibis lulled me almost too sleeping point. Then, she stopped suddenly. What are you doing Rachel!! The songs not over! Then I realized she was crying. Why was she crying? Was she singing the song about herself? It could fit, considering the cuts on her wrist. They still looked fresh, like she had done them in the past 24 hours. Maybe she had done it out of nervousness and cut to calm herself?
One of the female judges (I think her names was Annie) pulled Rachel outside of the door. Crap, I had to act fast. My first instinct was to hide behind something. There was a half-wall that I crouched behind that I could look over to see what was happening. Annie and Rachel had now both started crying and Annie was holding out Rachel's wrist. She then pulled out her own to show. She cut too. They gave each other a heartfelt hug and returned inside
. I resumed my original position at the window. Her voice was beautiful, unlike everyone one that I had heard. When she was done, everyone cheered. Including me. Fuck, what was I supposed to do now? I ran out the door being followed by tons of screaming girls (and boys). I have really messed up this time.
I ran out and jumped in my car, leaving a small crack in the window to answer questions from them. "Well well well, what do we have here?" Matt said from the back. I did a little high-pitched girly scream and looked behind me.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" I asked. "The rest of the guys told me to come check on you since you weren't back yet. Ian guessed that you were mauled by rabid fans. I guess he was right," he said, pointing out the window. I heard yells of "HOLY SHIT MATT AND JOSH!!!”.They must be fans. Well no shit considering this is Van-fucking-couver.
After some other fans and calmed everyone down and dragged everyone back inside, I walked out and asked the judges if I could have a seat. They looked a little aggravated but they accepted. The girl Rachel looked at me and smiled. I looked at her and gave her thumbs up.
She looked down to the floor. She knew I heard what she had said and showed Annie. I shot her a concerned look. Sleep laced her eyes and she looked energy-less. She walked out and I followed her out the door. She kept walking away from me. "Rachel!! Come back!!"
I ran after her and she just fell to the floor. She was crying. Crap, I made her cry. "I'm so sorry! Really! I don't know why I do it, it's the only thing I know and...” I pulled her into a hug.
“Don’t worry, you can tell me. I can't judge you or I would be a hypocrite and no one likes that." I said, almost in a whisper. She told me her story. Her mom and she lived in Whistler until she was 6 but then she died. Her father wasn't a big part of her life. When she went to live with her uncle in Vancouver, no one would pay attention to her. It was always about her cousins and what they wanted, not her.
She got into drugs and alcohol and was bullied in school. She did the only thing she could, she cut. She was now done school, but the drugs and cutting continued. She was doing it for so long and didn't know when to stop. Or how, for that matter.
By the end she was crying and her clothes were wet. "Thank you Josh, you are the only one who knows the full story about me." M-me? I didn't even know her and she revealed everything to me. How could she trust me? Well, maybe the fact that I had done the same things had something to do with it.
She got up and composed herself while I tried to process everything I just heard “Well, Josh, It was nice to meet you”, she said, wiping her face a few times. “I’m glad I finally told someone. Someone that can’t judge me, you know? Society is filled with douche bags and whores, right?” She laughed. It was the first time I saw her smile today. Well, besides when she was up on the stage.
“Hahah, right…” I trailed off. Shit, Matt was still waiting in my car. “Sorry, Matt’s waiting in my car. He came here around the um... Incident.” I said. “Ohh... Well then see you around?” She said with a smile. It’s amazing how she can pretend she is happy and she doesn’t have a care in the world but inside she has all this pain bottled up inside her.
I need to talk to her again. “Can I see your phone?” I said. “Umm… sure.” She answered, handing me her Blackberry. I put my number in and saved myself as “Uncle JDog”. When I handed back her phone, the first thing she said was “‘Uncle JDog’? Seriously?” She chuckled. What can I say, I’m a comedian.
She looked at her watch. “Shit.. I got to run. Sorry,” She said. “Don’t worry, see ya around!” I said as she walked away. I walked into my own car, to find Matt still in the back seat, playing on his phone. Twitter obsession. Donate for a cure.
“So what’s up with you and that chick over there?” Matt asked me as I started the car and drove back to my apartment."Nothing Matt, she was just a fan who is going through some tough shit" I half-lied. Was she really just "Some fan"? Or was she my friend now.
"Ok man, whatever you say..." Matt trailed off. When I got to my apartment, it was already dark outside and I tired. I lied down on the couch and of course Bennie, Tux, and Anemonie come and sit on top of me.
"Thanks a lot guys, really appreciate it." I told them. They looked back at me with a confused look at lied down. "Fucking animals." I said under my breath. Guess today will be another sleepless night.
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SUP GUYS! Yeah so this is my first fanfic and what do you think? I put a lot of work into it and I have been writing it since August. Yeah, writers block sucks as you may know. So vote, add to your reading list, and suggest it to your friends my lovelys~ See ya!
