IS it right to look down at me

I AM

Getting up from my bed at 7 am I checked my husband who is sleeping peacefully, a small smile appears instantly looking at his innocent face. He is the most expensive thing happened to me till date. And the little thing lying beside him is like a bonus for my life... Kissing my 1 year old daughters's forehead , I lean to kiss my husband. That's when the last alarm pierced my ear. Yes... I will always keep more than 5 alarams... if I decide to wake up at 7, the alarm will start from 5 itself... So that I could enjoy my last 2 hours sleep .... Smiling to my stupidity which my husband dislikes the most , I got up from my bed.

I entered my kitchen where my mother in law already cooked rice for my husband... All I have to do is to flavour it with something to eat worth ful and prepare some side dish...

My mother in law is a nice lady. She always talks sweetly . And that's the problem that no one can read my discomfort over it. If anyone asks you to eat karela with so much of love how would you feel. That's the exact feeling of mine since I entered my in laws home.... But other than that I have nothing against her... She helps me in all works ... Even she does more than that... In turn I have to hear something which can tear my self respect into pieces... May be if my mom tells this I won't feel this much insult. But that's the thing she is not my MOM... if she wants to be one, first she should make me feel like that. May be I m asking for impossible things.

That's when my eyes fell upon the yummy cake which is left one piece... I am those kind of girls who can easily forget anything if only offered mouth full of yummy dishes. Looking at that piece I forgot all those words which was hurting me like hell.

"I kept that for her" my mother in law told me and I instantly withdrew my hands from it... It's not that if I ask for it she won't give. It's just I won't ask. I pretend as if I came for water and smiling back at my mother in law I left the room...

I didn't tell anything about that HER... She is my husband's sister. The one gift which everyone should get as a sister in law. A calm non interference non nagging sister in law she is... If your are Indian you can understand what precious gift is she.. she won't interfere in any matters of mine and lives her life peacefully.. BUT... the thing in my life is only that's word BUT... in these four years of my marriage I even don't know how she calls me. I even don't know what was our first conversation. She is of my age .. same age... Same age girl getting so much attention Pampers love care even though she wont talk to anyone in the home that surely not so lovable one...

Even I pampered her in the beginning thinking of her as my own little sister. But the continuous ignorance from her side made me feel so low of myself. May be because I belong to a village and she is from mumbai the king City, I felt so ignored by her. Even after that I didn't let my hope go waste I continuously tried my best to make relations as a cute one and after this 4 years the result is she is playing with my daughter and now I can feel that she is not looking down at me. Even though I am 1000 ways better than her in maturity and everything else whereas she is nearly a 5 year kid not adjusting in anything , I felt she is not comfortable with my presence....

Now that my husband went to his office and he will be back at night only... Till then I have many works to complete like to clean all the things and arrange everything in it's place. Doing clothes dishes and not to forget about the food. But still the word which my mother in law told me once that YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO IN HOME RATHER THAN LIKE MY DAUGHTER WHO IS WORKING .. this lines kept playing in my head. Should I consider doing job.? I am graduated enough to get job easily but the thing is I am not interested.. why can't everyone understand that ? I don't want to become pupet for money. We have enough money to life comfortable life then why to choose this path where I should leave my child in home alone to yearn for my love. Why should I go to job to live life  as a machine . I don't know .

Now that my sister in law got promotion and I m happy about it. BUT... The thing again came... BUT... It gave another chance to all to look further down at me...

These thougts were haunting me like hell when I heard my daughter got up from her peaceful sleep and I have almost finished all my work...and now I acn play with her to she gets bored of.. so that she could eat something... Didn't I tell you the main task I am doing is feeding her food with all the energy I saved... She is one in all piece.. won't eat easily...

And the day ends with all my thoughts and suffocation... And I left with my mind which is always plans something new to change the environment only to make me happy ..

I should say that in beginning of my marriage I cared least bout all the negatives and that's how I was very happy at all times... But...ONLY .. BUT ...now may be my patience level reached it's limit and it's expired .. And I became a very bad nagging wife . Back those days I won't even say anything to my husband even though it's his mistake which hurts me... I always think to accept him with all his flaws and j did it in best way. Now all I do is to nag him about almost everything ..

To avoid that I chose this way... To pen down my every emotions and to burry them deep inside my heart to bring ME back to reality where I care least about such baseless things and live to the fullest ....

After all I am a proud house wife who decided not to choose money over life and happiness . And I am very proud of myself to think like and act accordingly.

Hey guys hell bored to write any of my stories... So thought to share some views of house wives..... This is a light chappy with the rare situation and I dunno weather you could like this or not... But I loved this while writing ...may be it's my best story ever... And please .. it's purely fictional ... 😉😉😉😉😃😃😃😃😃