Song for this chapter- Stay High: Tove Lo
Chapter 15:
“Is it okay if I stay here?” I sniffle, standing in the doorway of Navy’s apartment. I have an overnight tote in my hand and rain drops covering my sweatshirt. He looks into my swollen eyes and nods once, pulling me into a hug.
“As long as you need me, I’m here.” He says into my hair. He reaches down and carries my bag into a spare bedroom, leading me there with his other hand across my shoulders. I dont know what I did to deserve a guy like him as my best friend. Rebecca is a lucky girl.
“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks as we both sit on his guest bed in the small beige room.
“Yeah, I do. Niall cheated on me with Megan…he didn’t even have the decency to tell me. I found out on fucking E! News.” I tell him.
“Holy shit, I’m gonna fucking kill that prick. I’m so sorry Rosie, you don’t deserve this crap from anyone.” Navy says angrily. I giggle at him, despite the fact that I want to cry in a ditch Navy getting angry still makes me laugh. He is literally a light in my life.
“You said prick.” I begin to laugh.
“Hey I’ve lived here long enough I think I earned the right.” He smiles, nudging me with his shoulder. I smile, but it quickly fades back to my vacant stare as the small spurt of energy fades from my veins.
“I think I’d like to go to bed, if that’s alright.” I say flatly.
“Yeah, yeah no problem. Sleep tight tutu’s.” He says, squeezing my shoulder and then leaving the room. The moment the door closes behind him I let out a strangled sob. He called me tutu’s. Niall used to call me that sometimes. And then I’d call him bottle blonde and he’d get mad, which I thought was cute, and I would always kiss him to get him to smile again.
I grab my chest in a sudden squeezing pain I feel there, right above my heart. I hate this feeling, of sheer heartbreak, it physically pains me to think about him. I love the memory but I hate remembering it.
I then curl into a ball on top of the covers and begin to silently cry. I decide to check my phone to see if Ashland texted me. I only see one new message from Louis.
“From: Tommo
I’ll always love you tutu’s
-Niall xx”
And thats when I lose it.
-
Headaches and hunger. Thats all I have felt today. No sadness, no guilt, nothing.
I’ve spent the past two nights sobbing uncontrollably on this bed which Navy and Rebecca lent me. I vaguely remember Rebecca coming home late the first night and whispering outside of my door. I don't know much else of whats been happening, I haven't left this room, except to use the toilet once yesterday.
Rebecca, being who she is, tried to coax some toast with jam into my system yesterday. I felt so heartsick that the food quite literally made me sick. Oh yeah, I went to the bathroom to throw up my sole meal as well.
I’m sat on the bed right now with a throbbing ringing sensation in my skull. I want to ask for some water but I don't have the energy to talk to anyone. So instead I’ll just resume staring at the ceiling fan go around and around.
“Rosie its six in the evening.” Navy sighs, walking into my room.
“But I just woke up.” I answer, not moving my eyes to look at him.
“Exactly.” He says, sitting down roughly on my bed.
“I’d like to be alone.” I say in an annoyed tone. I know I’m being ungrateful, but his check ups have gotten annoying.
