My New Life - A Wattpad Original

Part One - The House

The first thing I remember from after dad disappearing was this lady, sat again on my bed. Just staring at me, a world that had changed the mysteries, it felt almost like I was dreaming the world was slowing down and I just sat there looking at her. I manage to get out a few words. 

"Who are you?" I asked.

The lady just opened her mouth, her face was barely moving when she said it.

"Amy, baby, it's me your mum" she says before picking up a photo on the bedside table, I'm holding it as I write this, it's what looks like me and her together on my tenth birthday, stood by the cake in the dining room of my dad's house. I remember studying it for a good while before continuing to her. 

"What happened?" is what I can manage to get out.

"As I said I'll talk to you about it soon" the lady says, and she begins to get up and walk out. She turned around and said to me.

"Your clothes are in the wardrobe" she pointed over to a lighter coloured wooden wardrobe, embraided with floral designs across and arched top.

Then she left the room, it was deathly silent and as I move my feelings about my body change are more than confirmed as I stood, I felt queasy, and light footed. But there was something oddly freeing about not having the weight of my parts there my feet are naturally wanting to come a lot closer to one another, like that thing when you lock your hands, and a friend ties an imaginary piece of string around your fingers as your two spaced apart fingers naturally want to come closer together. 

I could feel the reddish carpet and I walked over to the window to see if I recognized where I was and I saw again, fields. But not my dad's area, I know it too well, this was somewhere else.

I could see a small garden and a gardener tending to some flowers and that's it, not much else that stood out. I begin to walk to the wardrobe, one step in front of another. That's how walking works. I feel the wardrobe and open it. To be met with more change.

A big change not as big as, well, you know but big for me. Inside was a set of summer dresses, a few blouses and t-shirts, denim jackets and in the drawers below the wardrobe were some dungarees, skirts, tights, knickers and jeans.

I was taken aback, again with the shock of it all. It was too much for me to even begin to comprehend. I still even now don't know how to process it. Remember I'm only a twelve-year-old boy, now girl.

But I hadn't fully accepted anything yet. I know I don't want to wear the night gown and slip it off to see what my body looks like, I have healing areas around the private region, and a newly forming scar on my lower chest.

I get some knickers, and slip them on, and look at my options. I didn't know what I was to do. I wore the dungarees and a yellow t-shirt that said 'Malibu' in blue surfer dude style writing and put on some of the trainer socks.

As for the shoes well, they were next to the wardrobe and I had a choice of two, canvas trainers (similar to Converse). As well as more formal open top black slip-on shoes with little bows on the end. I chose the canvas trainers.

I went into the en-suite in the room and looked in the mirror, my hair, was still the same, had barely been touched by the huge amount of time I had spent in bed.

I had the great idea to just stare at myself, and think that dad will sort everything out, he always does. But all that I see is this girl, me. In a lot of pain, but it was me, here and now.

A face that I knew so well, changed so much. With an urge to explore myself but still not fully over the pain of the surgery. I did my usual thing, I know it's weird after all that has happened but it was kinda hard wired into me and so I measured myself and weighed myself.

I'd lost weight. After that I walked out of the room and onto the landing, which overlooked a huge open plan living space a floor below, with a much more modern feel than the room I have just woke up in, concrete, colours and glass. I see again it is empty.

I rub some sleep from my eyes, that is what dad called the hard stuff you get in the corner of your eyes when you wake up sometimes and I find the stairs and go down them. It was quite cold in the house; I can't forget that. On the bottom floor I could hear some music playing in the kitchen, I could see an open plan style doorway, no door as such more of a walk-through space in the wall next to a modern shelf style bookcase and I could see the end of a kitchen table. The glass encompassed the wall behind, and I begin to walk over to the kitchen when she shouts after me.

"Sweetie, Dinner is almost ready!" This was still very alien; I walk in, and I haven't spoken about it but I never had the most manly voice I definitely don't now, but I never had a "manly voice" so it always could've quite easily passed as a 12 year old girl.

"Hello?" I hastily replied to her, I heard her footsteps as she moves to continue cooking. I walked into the kitchen, and she turned and looked at me a warm smile on her face.

"I see you found your new look then Amy dear?" 

I just nodded and sat down at one of the four seats at the table, and I don't know why but I just, couldn't hold anything back and I just began crying.

I was probably crying for a good minute before the music shut off and the lady came and sat next to me and tried to comfort me.

"There, there Amy. Calm down, dinner is almost ready. You are alright to be confused but don't worry. Mummy's got you". 

There was something oddly warming about her the way she soothed I never had a mum but for just a second, I felt safe and secure, then the concept shattered, and the floodgates opened again after a minute of two she returned to the kitchen finished the food, plated it up and came over putting it in front of me.

I can't remember what she made I just remember being sad enough that I couldn't eat much at all. I do remember the conversation, well the gist of it anyways. 

"What is going on?" I asked.
"Your dad has been preparing you for this. Your whole life. Amy." She smiled back at me with this.
"But what's happened to me? Who are you, who am I, am I still me?"
"That's pretty comprehensive questioning young lady and I'll explain. You are a very special person, who was chosen at a very young age to be part of an experiment a few to be honest state of the art stuff in gender reassignment from young ages and the effects it has on the upbringing of a young person, it is not pleasant, not having a choice but you were so young when the decision was made and you are now and forever will be living as you are now, a girl."

"Where is dad" I ask?

"You're father had to leave shortly after the surgery, you're probably not going to see him any time soon"

The waterworks started again, before I snuffle up to ask,
"So I'm a girl now? But when dad spoke to me about this in science he said that GRS it only the-"

She interrupts me
"The truth is Amy, this wasn't a normal surgery, you also as you will notice have another scar, you are the first human example of a person to have a full female interior anatomy, you were born with the insides of a girl but the outside of a boy you already had the ability to be a girl if you chose to, a real girl, biologically you would likely have been born as you are now to some degree however, you're body decided to develop into a boys at a later stage. You see you are now a normal girl; you function like one you look like one and you will in time think like one, you're body always developed similar to a girls the meds your dad was giving you kept your body stable ready for it to change."

"So, who are you?" I managed to get out, not knowing how to feel, but definitely I felt quite sick.

"I am your new mum. I am going to be here for you, forever. But you are going to live a normal life of a girl of your smarts, you will start at a local boarding school next term, you can until then enjoy yourself here and do whatever you like, we of course don't have internet out here but feel free to read eat and do what you need to do"

I asked to be excused then make my way out and walked back to the room before sitting on the bed and holding my head in my hands, before crying again and crawling up into a ball on the bed.