Treading Water

1

"What do you mean you can't stay?" Laleh pleaded

"It's against my oath... I must go" he says

"No! I can't raise her alone!" Ella clung to the man

"You're a beautiful woman. Find a companion" he gently tried to remove her but she grabbed at him like a beggar for spare coins

"No! I will ensure that you rot! You have no right!" He moved from her grip and left her on her small apartment floor. Their new born lie sleeping in the single bedroom, while she wondered how long baby food could last and how long she could last with only her final pay check supporting her...

"Mommy?" I awoke as my mom stumbled into our home

"I'm fine go back to sleep" she shuffled to the bathroom and I went to find her with her with off while she splashed her face. I looked over her with wondering eyes and an innocent mind.

"Why are your feet and legs so bruised?" I ask

"Work... You'll understand when you're older" she picked me up and and took me back to the bed

"You have school in a few hours, get some sleep" she turned on the fan and tucked me in and I watched her get ready for bed...

"Mommy, are you okay?" She hurried in while I was getting ready for school and dropped her bags, rushing to the bathroom

"Mommy!" I heard her crying and I sat at the door crying with her until she came out. She had a bandage on her arm and she began gathering up all of our stuff. She did my hair for the day but we sat inside for hours before finally going to school. She dropped me off during recess and sped off...

When she came back, she dropped me off with one of her friends before rushing back off. We started staying with her and for a long time, I'd only see my mom when she took me to school, but I eventually rode the bus and only saw her when I got back and she was sleeping. I would kiss her head then go do my homework so she could rest before work...

After a many years of this, my mom was occasionally awake while I was home but she was busy with papers and on the phone. She stayed sleeping or busy for a month before we were packed back up and moved out of her friend's house. We moved into a new place with lots of space, 2 bedrooms, and two bathrooms. We started off with our old furniture and some days when I came from schools, there would be something missing, then it would be replaced with something new by the next day.

"Mom" I came back inside and she was counting money and putting it through a machine on the floor

"Yes?" She asks

"It's a teacher work day" she looked at me and nodded before continuing her counting and grouping. I sat next to her and watched her count and group until she opened an envelope and counted that too. She put a band on each group then put it all on a bag.

"Change our of your school clothes so you can come" she says

"I only have school clothes and pajamas and you told me to never leave the house in my night clothes" I say

"I bought you some clothes a while back" she says

"... I-... Um, well, I- I-

"You can't fit them anymore?" She asks

"I have leggings somewhere. You don't have to worry about it" I went to dig around for something to wear and my mom came and stood in my doorway

"You don't have to be afraid to ask me for things, especially not clothes" she says

"Miss Lottie... She said... I just-

"Don't cry, talk to me" he held me and rubbed my back

"She said you didn't have t-time for me... and it's in- inconsiderate of me to inconvenience... y-you by asking for stuff I don't n- need because we're struggling... And you didn't want me so you sh-... you shouldn't have to spend your money on m-me... I don't want-... I don't want to make things hard-... Hard on you... I'm s- sorry" I sobbed

"You do not make things hard for me and we are not struggling... Do you remember when we moved out when about 5 years ago when I came home and had bandages?" She asks

"Yeah" I sniffled

"I got-... I got followed home from work... And was assaulted in the parking lot so I moved us to keep you safe while I filed some reports... I had to keep changing where I worked each night to stay safe so my pay would change by the week and I got stressed and just slept and worked until they found him... Two years ago when he was arrested, I got my life back together and I had to get my money together before I could finally move us out. I was going through something at that time and none of it was ever your fault and I wish you would've told me what she'd been telling you a lot sooner because none of that is true. I wanted you and I'm glad to have you and I wouldn't trade you for anything" we hugged and we sorted through my clothes before leaving...

We went to the bank first, then donated my old clothes. We grabbed breakfast then she took me shopping for clothes and shoes. I was pretty tall and modest, which was actually insecurities, so we struggled to find me clothes, especially since I was skinny. We bought a lot of jeans and leggings and tops and a few items for getting me out of my comfort zone. She even took me to get more uniform clothes and spent the day catering to me...

I woke up for school and my mom was gone, but she'd left a note and made me lunch and breakfast. I sighed and went to the bathroom to try and do my own hair but I was struggling so I just picked it out and wore my afro. I went to wait for the bus but it was taking a while to come so I went home and called my mom. While calling, something made a loud fluttering noise. I looked around for tossed papers or a pigeon, but for some reason found a short sword instead. I kept calling but she didn't pick up so I just brushed it off. When I turned back around, I looked into the eyes of an unimaginable creature. It came at me and I ducked, grabbing the short sword and swinging it wildly until it became nothing but dust. I slumped to the floor just as my mom came in hurriedly and ran to me.

"I'm gonna explain. Just relax and lay down" she kissed my head then laid me on the couch while she swept...