It's Too Cold Outside For Angels To Fly ● A 1D Fanfiction - Mostly Harry Fanfic

Part 30

*Harry’s POV*

I just stared at her, her fragile chest moving up and down followed by the slow rhythm of the beeping heart monitor beside her. Her eyelids fluttered slightly as she dreamed, completely out of the reality world, probably in the best place she could be was her dream word.

I looked down to my shaky sweaty palms gripping the bed sheets in fists trying to stop my tears at just the sight of her unconscious. I realised the sheets and took her tiny hand in mine, it not gripping back like usual just lying lifeless resting on my palm.

I’d lost one of the most important girls in my life and was now sat waiting for the other to wake up praying she would soon but also dreading the thought of telling a 3 year old girl that she will never see her mum again, never hug her and never be able to just get a kiss from her now and then.

Emma was gone and I regretted so much now. I regretted them years where I didn’t find her, where I could have been enjoying life with her and my daughter but no I let the fame get to my head, I let terror take over me in fear of what others would think and I will always regret that now because I will forever ask myself what if I had stopped her from leaving that day, would she be dead now or would she be living with me somewhere.

Who knows maybe we would have been married because I always knew deep down she was the only one I wanted to marry. I know that sounds stupid since I’m only young but when you find someone that makes you feel like the luckiest person ever, where you just can’t cope the same without them you know that they are the one for you and that’s who Emma was to me.

You’ll never be able to say you know how it feels you’ll never be able to understand fully or sympathize the same unless you’ve felt it, you’ve felt the pain and that was the problem you want someone to have felt the pain so you know you’re not alone but you know it’s impossible for someone to feel the exact same pain as you because no one will ever love that person as much as you could. They really are you’re only one.

Except I’ve lost my one and only girl now and I’m left to cope on my own knowing that I probably never will have the same life again and I never will get that life I had always dreamed of with Emma, Rosie and I.

No, now it was Rosie and I the only two left and I can promise the world now I’m never letting Rosie go because she is the closest thing I have to Emma and she will always be my little girl, the one I will always love no matter what she does.

I noticed Rosie’s eyes start to flicker open my heart stopping as I felt her little hand move in mine. “Rosie?” I asked stepping forward keeping her hand in mine as she wriggled rubbing the sleep out of her eyes with the back of her little hand.

“Daddy?” She spoke quietly but happy, her little face was cheerful as she woke up feeling like it was just a new day for her.

“Daddy’s here Rosie, Daddy is always here.” I replied with half climbing onto the bed and pulling her into my chest her little arms quickly grabbing around holding onto the material of my top.

“Where am I Daddy?” I looked down to see her eyes, hazel eyes. The same eyes as Emma staring right back at me, the closest thing I would get to ever seeing those eyes again. I rubbed away a tear quickly, how was I going to tell her, how could I tell her about her mum.

“You’re in hospital Rosie, there was a little trouble with a fire, do you remember?” She cringed and nodded clutching to my chest tightly.

“That was really scary, I really don’t like fire Daddy.” She was hiding in my chest.

“I know, I really don’t like it either Rosie.” I whispered, she shouldn’t have had to see any of that fire.

I sat rocking her slightly for ages stroking her head, having to repeatedly stare up at the ceiling to stop my tears, she was just like a mini Emma and I loved her just as much. I could feel her breathing relaxing more and more and noticed her eyes fluttering from tiredness.

Even though my body resisted I laid her down pulling her little hand from my top and letting them wrap tightly around mine instead. “I’m tired.” She mumbled Emma always used to do that in a child’s voice that was cute but funny. A little smile appeared on my face at the memories of her saying that.

“Go to sleep then beautiful I’ll be here when you wake up.” I stroked her cheek tears escaping as I did. I didn’t want her to see me cry so I was waiting for her to sleep.

“I can’t Daddy I need Mummy to sing to me, where is Mummy?” I felt like I had been stabbed in the heart, a little girl asking where her mummy is when she is lost is what Rosie looked like right now because she was that little girl wanting her mum, no one can replace your mum when you’re scared.

“Mummy can’t be here right now Rosie, but maybe I could sing to you.” My voice was weak I was fighting off so much pain for her.

“But I need Mummy too.” She looked upset her eyes looking like they could spill tears, I couldn’t tell her yet I just couldn’t. I couldn’t watch her heart break like mine was doing right now.

I thought hard, I needed something, anything. “Hey look I know where you can see Mummy.” I had an idea this was the only place I could ever let her see her now.

“Where?” She smiled at me showing a row of little baby teeth, one missing.

“In your dreams Rosie your mummy will always be in your dreams whenever you need her, she will always be in your head no matter what because your mummy loves you and will always be there for a hug in your dreams no matter where she is. You just got to close your eyes.”

“You promise?” I took her little pinkie finger in mine.

“I promise with all my heart Rosie she will be there sat waiting for you to give you a big kiss and hug.” She smiled a warm smile her eyes shutting more. I took a deep breath the quicker she goes to sleep the quicker she could see her Mum and the only way quicker I could think was to sing. “Isn’t she lovely, isn’t she wonderful, isn’t she precious…” I sang tears falling as I saw her eyes shut, my voice quiet.

“You and mummy sing the same song.” She whispered one last time as I continued to sing. I closed my eyes tightly holding in shaky breaths my eyes lids turning into barriers against the water, Emma had sang this song to Rosie this whole time and I never knew, it was the song I’d sang for X Factor the song I told her ages ago I wanted to sing to my baby girl when I was older.

“..less than one minute old….” memories passed through my mind. “…and I never thought through love we’d be…” images of Emma “….making one as lovely as she…” smiling and enjoying life “….isn’t she lovely made from love.” Before she died that was the Emma I wanted to remember gave a nothing but love, the happy Emma.

I opened my tightly shut eyes to see she had fallen asleep smiling now, she could finally see her mum. “I love you Rosie, I love you so much tell your mummy I say hello.” I whispered kissing her head crying none stop into the pillow next to her.

I was never letting this girl go, ever, I would do anything for her.