My Replacement Husband

My Replacement Husband (6) Who We Are

THE BATHROOM LIGHTS WERE FLICKERING.

As I shut the door of the single-stalled bathroom behind me, I took a moment to recollect myself. I gave myself a once-over in the mirror. I looked like me, Julie Carson: 5'6, dirty blond, blue eyes, and tired, but for some reason as much as it looked like me in the reflection, I hadn't felt like me in a while.

I had already shown how unsettled I was about Evan when Ethan tried to broach the topic. I didn't think I would have to deal with this whole rollercoaster of memories and emotions again. After Evan and I had broken up, I decided it was best to leave that part of my life in the past. I had been doing well...well until now at least.

The late nights spent drowning my pillows in tears were long gone.

My wounds had healed with my patience and prayers for peace.

It was over to me, so why did everyone else feel the need to bring up again?

Most of all, why did Evan Morgan feel the need to bring himself back into my life either?

I didn't buy him just suddenly choosing our literary agency or Ms. Petras randomly deciding to place him in my care. I had a feeling there was either something fishy going on or maybe God had decided now, of all times, was when He should start testing my resolve as if 18 years in my mother's household wasn't enough.

After another three minutes passed by before, I felt brave enough or maybe hungry enough to face Ethan again with an answer.

"The food came while you were in the bathroom," he said when I approached the table.

"It looks good." I was ready to eat.

"Julie, about what I brought up before if it's a sensitive topic we don't need to push it. I know I don't really have the right to ask about those things anymore." It was hard for me to believe Ethan wasn't an amicable person since birth. Once, the mild-mannered man sitting across from me used to get into fist fights and run from the cops before he was even considered a teenager.

"It's not about that. Maybe it is. I don't know."

If I'm being honest, that was true. I didn't know why I felt so tense whenever Evan was part of the conversation. I haven't thought about him for years, but when I did, it never failed to make  me want to run into the next room.

"Don't you think we're in a similar situation?" Ethan ripped up a piece of the complimentary naan and dipped it into the curry sauce.

"This is different," I said adamantly.

Ethan didn't look convinced. "Julie, you find someone you like. You date them. They try to get more serious with you, and then you break it off. Doesn't that sound familiar to you?"

I picked at my fingernails quietly. Ethan didn't know the full story. He had heard as much as I was willing to share with anyone and then some. Even Yoona didn't know the full story, and Kathy knew the bare bones of what had happened between my romance with Evan in my college years.

That time seemed so distant now.

It wasn't like I was traumatized. I just didn't like talking about bad memories from my past: I was young, dumb, and impressionable. I had fallen for a guy who had promised to give me the world and to no surprise, failed to deliver. It was my fault for believing someone could love me more than themselves when it came down to it.

It was my fault for being an idiot in love when it came to Evan.

I was suddenly hit by a wave of anger. Thinking about Evan unsettled me from my usually calm demeanor.